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Original poster

Embarrasing Perianal Abscess / Fistula - Nurse advice.

6 replies

Flowerpower70 · 17/04/2026 18:43

Sorry if TMI
Had a perianal abscess 10 years ago. All healed up went away thought that was that!
Last month the scar where i had the abscess opened a bit again and weeped some pus and blood then close back up then it opened again discharged some more pus then healed again. It was disgusting.
I went to GP last week and they sent me to A and E as I had temperature. I was seen my doctor who gave me antiibiotics and did some blood tests and discharged me. They looked at the abscess said al looks ok but to have an MRI to check for fistula.
Had the MRI but heard nothing since. Rang them up last week they said I need to wait for results of MRI and that if temperature spikes again go back to A and E
Was told if it is a fistula if it's low it will be laid open but if it's high I wll need a seton drain for 12months to 18 months!!!
I'm due to have hysterectomy and was told they won't do it if i have infection i can't wait 12 months to 18 months!!!
Worried sick about it. Feel awful and embarrased. Don't feel like being intimate with DP.
Anyone had similar experience as not much info on net and not something i can talk about with friends and family.
Have to cancel hysterectomy that I've been waiting for for months!! Don't want to want over a year!

OP posts:
Original poster
Flowerpower70 · 17/04/2026 22:44

Read on a post that these fistulas are terrible things to have! Eek. Lead to incontinence?

OP posts:
BlackSwan · 18/04/2026 13:59

It is an awful thing to go through. My DS had a high complex fistula at the age of 5 or 6 & the treatment was very confronting. He had it laid open, even though it was high... . Going to the loo was painful for him poor thing as you can imagine. He was given movicol... I bought a sitz bath... not sure what else I can remember. Being young he healed quite quickly. It has been 10 years now and no recurrence, so thank goodness for that.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Easy to say don't be embarrassed, which you really shouldn't be, but I get it. I found myself using the euphemism that he needed 'bowel surgery'. The truth was far more invasive.

Definitely seek more than one opinion if you're able to, just to be sure of the surgical approach. I hope it's a low one anyway & more easily treated.

Original poster
Flowerpower70 · 18/04/2026 16:19

BlackSwan · 18/04/2026 13:59

It is an awful thing to go through. My DS had a high complex fistula at the age of 5 or 6 & the treatment was very confronting. He had it laid open, even though it was high... . Going to the loo was painful for him poor thing as you can imagine. He was given movicol... I bought a sitz bath... not sure what else I can remember. Being young he healed quite quickly. It has been 10 years now and no recurrence, so thank goodness for that.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Easy to say don't be embarrassed, which you really shouldn't be, but I get it. I found myself using the euphemism that he needed 'bowel surgery'. The truth was far more invasive.

Definitely seek more than one opinion if you're able to, just to be sure of the surgical approach. I hope it's a low one anyway & more easily treated.

Oh bless him! Glad he is okay now. It must be awful for a little child to have one Thanks for replying I feel embarrased about it all.
Am dreading surgery. Had an MRI on it but heard nothing since. I am worried theyll just get a general surgeon to do it as I'm NHS small hospital might be idea to pay to go private?

OP posts:
BlackSwan · 18/04/2026 20:08

I think it's likely something a general surgeon would do. But it may be helpful to seek a 2nd opinion from a private surgeon, just to see if they think the approach which your drs are taking makes sense, esp if it's laying open vs seton. I would recommend my son's surgeon but he only sees paediatric patients.

Take care of yourself, you will get through this. Have you spoken with your partner about it at least? I mean if you're not comfortable speaking to other people about it. I understand what a huge stress it is - you need support with the emotional side.

Sending hugs. I hope you hear from the hospital soon & your infection clears. xx

Original poster
Flowerpower70 · 19/04/2026 21:23

BlackSwan · 18/04/2026 20:08

I think it's likely something a general surgeon would do. But it may be helpful to seek a 2nd opinion from a private surgeon, just to see if they think the approach which your drs are taking makes sense, esp if it's laying open vs seton. I would recommend my son's surgeon but he only sees paediatric patients.

Take care of yourself, you will get through this. Have you spoken with your partner about it at least? I mean if you're not comfortable speaking to other people about it. I understand what a huge stress it is - you need support with the emotional side.

Sending hugs. I hope you hear from the hospital soon & your infection clears. xx

Thank you so much. He does'nt like to talk about it just says uh i don't want to know so not v. helpful at all.

OP posts:
BlackSwan · 20/04/2026 07:18

Hugs. I'm sorry you're not getting the support you deserve. That's very disappointing. Not kidding when I say this could easily make you depressed (I was honestly at the end of my tether when my son went through this) - think about getting some professional support if you feel you could use it.

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