Something else you need to bear in mind before you start judging (thanks for that ButterflyMcQueen ) is that it can be a very vicious circle.
Take ds1. He gets VERY stressed and anxious if given anything he either doesn't like, or is new. If left unchecked, the anxiety builds and builds until he is so stressed he cannot eat even the things he does like. So all his life I have been trying to make food more of an enjoyable thing, something that doesn't cause stress and anxiety. He simply cannot eat if in the least anxious, and this has been true from day1.
If I'm 100% honest, there is something I think I could have done differently, which is I think I have probably been a little over-anxious myself about getting him to eat. But given that he wouldn't feed for 48 hours after birth, the hospital kept doing blood sugar tests, he lost 15% of his birth weight and struggled to put it back - didn't regain his birth weight until 8 or 9 weeks, and having been born on the 91st centile, has struggled to keep above the 2nd, and that was with supplementary formula (I b/fed the other 2 with fewer problems, but mixed fed ds1 until 13 months), AND he was a first baby, with the underlying anxiety that goes with that, I defy anyone NOT to have been over anxious.
Perhaps if he was my 2nd or 3rd child I wouldn't have worried SO much, but everyone is anxious about their first child, and therefore it isn't a reason to judge.
For those of you judging me, I really have tried everything, and am now trying to just make food a pleasurable experience (this is what I have been doing for the last 2 or 3 years) and VERY gradually he has introduced one or two new things into his diet (sauce on pasta was a new one - he started accepting cheese sauce about 6 months ago, and about 3 weeks ago he had a tomato based sauce for the FIRST time).
I should say ds1 is 7 tomorrow, so he is not a toddler, he is fully aware of everything. His phobias are;
Meat. Will not eat any meat except fish fingers and mince. I did on a couple of occasions get him to try a tiny bite of really tender meat - 4 hours later the piece was still in his mouth because he just couldn't make himself swallow it.
Fruit/veg. Eats baked beans, peas, grapes. Drinks fruit smoothies. As he will now eat tomato based sauces, this means I can put other veg into it, and as he is nearly 7, will hopefully be able to reason with him that he has had them before. I know it's bad psychology to hide the food, but if I can get him used to the flavour without 'knowing', it will help.
Carbs. Eats rice, pasta, bread, toast. Hates potatoes. Will occasionally eat chips, but doesn't really 'like' them. Only likes ready salted crisps.
Dairy. Eats cheese, hates yoghurt. Drinks milk.
Cereals. This is probably where he eats the most - he has Cheerios, Rice Krispies, Shreddies. Doesn't like any 'chewier' ones like muesli or weetabix.
Drinks. Orange/apple/grape juice, fruit smoothies, milk, water.
Sandwiches - likes lemon curd, cheese, marmite. Doesn't like anything else including ham.
Biscuits - likes jammie dodgers.
Chocolate - likes smarties and chocolate buttons, and milky bars. Also Coco Pops bars.
Writing this list down, he has increased his diet quite significantly in the last year or so, and for his birthday tomorrow we are going out for a curry - he will have poppadoms, naan, rice. But he loves the experience of going out for an Indian, and one day I am hopeful that when he is relaxed enough he will try some of a curry. Last time he tried the coconut dip, and really liked it. I hope his list shows that someone who is food phobic (and I don't think that's too strong a word - he is afraid of foods he doesn't like or know, and this manifests itself as shaking, hysteria, vomiting) can eat a FAIRLY balanced diet, if limited, they don't all eat chocolate or McDonalds.