To be so scared I’m stuck this anxious forever

[Shinyshiny2]

I have debilitating anxiety over sleep. I fear not sleeping and not coping which then becomes a viscious circle. Sleep hygiene is no use as the more effort I put into sleep the worse it becomes. I know that I need to not worry and I will sleep but that is easier said than done. I’m on day 26 of fluoxetine which has worked previously when I’ve had the particular severe anxiety over sleep. I’m so scared that the fluoxetine won’t work this time and I will spend the rest of life worrying about sleep and feeling so sad. I worry about sleep even after I’ve slept well. I had to leave work due to a panic attack after not sleeping last night which has just fed the fear of if I don’t sleep I can’t cope - I’m extremely stressed about sleep tonight and wish I could just believe that I don’t need to sleep just rest. This is ruining my life and I just want to feel normal.

I really sympathise, I've experienced similar issues in the past. The feeling of being awake on your own is awful. What I will say is that it did get better and I sleep well now. And perhaps more importantly - occasionally I don't sleep well, but that's OK and it doesn't panic me anymore.

Has it been triggered by anything in particular? I wonder whether CBT would be helpful for you.

Sorry you are struggling. Do you do any exercise? When I have had phases of not getting enough sleep I concluded it was because I really wasn't doing enough physically to get tired naturally. Going for long walks especially uphill or swimming for an hour. Also make sure to get plenty of natural light outdoors.

It was triggered as I had the thought ‘imagine if you don’t sleep tonight’ then it was self fulfilling. This is a fear my anxiety latches onto, in the past fluoxetine has really helped but it’s four weeks in this time and I’m still anxious all day. I exercise and run daily.

Have you tried sleeping stories? /sleep meditation?

Couple of whiskies? 🤷‍♀️

Maybe take some of the fear off by not prioritising a full night of sleep. Telling yourself , ok I might get a couple of hours tonight but if I don’t that’s ok, my body will make up for it sooner or later . Have a nice gentle book to read during the night, or a podcast, audiobook at the ready .

I had the worst insomnia for a long period of time so I relate

Sasha Stephens ‘The Effortless Sleep method’ helped me a bit

Strangely, it was having a baby that cured my insomnia! That was 7 years ago now and I mostly sleep like a baby now!

Also now I WFH full time I am far more relaxed about sleep as I know a bad night isn’t going to have any drastic impact

This is good advice. Create the conditions so your body can rest.

I sometimes have racing mind at night - at the moment what works for me is a word game in my head of thinking of 3 letter words that begin with A,B,C etc. Then 4 letter words. I've rarely got to the end of the 4 letter words before my mind feels untangled and I have distance from my worries enough to sleep.

There's also a long running 'mind your worries' thread on mumsnet, where mumsnetters mind your worries for you at night so you can rest.

Oh that sounds awful, anxiety is the worst 😥Have you tried listening to a sleep meditation?

Stop trying to sleep. Just lie down on your bed at the same time every night and choose a story to listen to. Try the BBC Sounds app. Even if you listen all night you are resting your body.

That's what I'm going to do right now... rest well all.

Have you spoken with your GP?
I am the same and rather than take strong sleeping pills like Zopiclone I take two Phenergen and have just accepted that until I’m healthy enough mentally that is what I have to do to function. It takes all the stress out of it and my GP is fine with me doing this.