Husbands memory in 40s

[Thanksforchattingagain]

I’m wondering if I should seek medical advice or if I’m just worrying. My husband is 45 but his memory and processing of information is causing us relationship problems.
things like forgetting we have spoken about something, forgetting what we are doing g this week, last night I burnt my thumb and ran it under the tap infront of him cursing about how it hurt the. Went onto speak about it again during the evening and getting an ice pack. Yet an hour later I spoke about pain and he said “ what have you done?” I looked at him I. Disbelief and he just said sorry it didn’t register.
i find it all very odd. I can understand a comment not registering but the whole series of events?
so much of this sort of thing happens

That sounds very worrying OP. I think you need to go to the GP. My worry would be early onset Alzheimer’s. But maybe it might be something else. Either way, he needs to get checked out. Good luck.

Do you think hes maybe just not listening? I zone out sometimes and dont pay attention but if you dont think its that maybe its worth him talking to his gp.

Is this a change in behaviour?

I’m struggling here, I tend to start most conversations “so like I said earlier” “yes. I mentioned that before” - I find it very depressing. Might be hearing related or just not paying attention rather than anything medically serious?

I think a mixture of not listening, not following instructions and not remembering. He won’t have it though and gets cross at me as he said he can’t help it but won’t seek any help.

This has been going on for years now but I would say worse in the past few years

I wondered if this was adhd as
my daughter has it. If so he said he can’t help it and I shouldn’t get frustrated

Could he be deaf? DH is late 50s and quite often it’s clear he’s not been listening! Sometimes that’s intention not deafness though.

@Thanksforchattingagain He won’t have it though and gets cross at me as he said he can’t help it but won’t seek any help.

See if you can get him in to the GP on some benign pretext (blood pressure, e.g.), alert GP in advance and let them take it from there. Hope for good outcome, OP, but worth getting checked out.

Not deaf I’m sure. I will often have a conversation with him which he has then forgotten or he says not processed correctly.
He also is quite literal so if I say “ you always do xyz “ he thinks I mean always when I’m just generally speaking if you see what I mean.

I think I will push to get to the drs. It’s not fair on me as it’s so confusing I don’t know when he is listening or will remember things or not. He also leaves our car door unlocked most days and can’t seem to remember to lock it up! He often forgets to lock the house up too and I have turned into a paranoid mess checking doors all the time!

I was going to suggest ADHD. My partner has a really dreadful memory too (feels that holidays are pointless because he can barely remember them) and has just been diagnosed with ADHD and apparently, it is a common symptom.

I have a bad memory.

i have a calendar in paper on the kitchen wall. I write stuff down on my to do list.

I do know I have a bad memory though and if people tell me stuff I usually ask them to email.

I understand about keeping calendars for appointments and he triers this. But how do you cope with forgetting conversations? It’s so hard especially when he can look engaged in one and then either forgets or answers a person with an answer that clearly shows he hasn’t been listening

I think he should see his GP

My DH is similar. He has ADHD. I really have to make sure he is engaged with me before I talk to him about anything. I actually tell him I will talk to him later and that im not repeating myself if I know he is not fully engaged and focused on our conversation.