Iatrophobia (White Coat Syndrome to the max)

[FMLpassthegin]

Has anyone experienced this and overcome it? After traumatic experiences as an in patient and outpatient I have PTSD and an extreme fear of clinicians and medical settings of any kind. I cannot attend any medical appointments, answer or make calls to my GP surgery let alone a Dr. I cannot go to a hospital for anything be it a blood test, screening, (no fear of needles, blood just the people, the place). I can't even visit loved ones in hospital. Emails/letters from them send my heart racing and me into fight/flight/freeze. NHS blue and white signage alone creates anxiety,

I've had therapy, hypnotherapy and EMDR, take anxiety medication and I'm still stuck. I must seem uncooperative/rude when I don't answer their call - but I literally freeze and stare at my phone ringing unable to pick it up, my heart pounds. I cry. When it stops ringing I turn my phone off so I don't have to see the voicemail notification and wait until I can feel together enough to listen to the message.

I've tried to make myself look at the buildings, sit in the car parks of the surgery or hospitals in person. I've tried just visualising via EMDR but as I know that it is all leading to making me go across the threshold at some point my irrational mind is says no way, not safe, can't do that. I am in good physical health and don't worry about that as I don't get sick often but I have repeat prescriptions which become trickier to work around when they have to be reviewed periodically.

I practice grounding exercises, breathwork, and workout, do yoga and activities to support nervous system regulation, - walking the dog, mindfulness etc. It is helpful for other anxiety triggers but when it comes to this, I seem to be triggered too quickly - I hit full shut down or flight in a flash. I've tried the feel the fear and do it anyway, exposure approach and ended up a liability (passed out, seizing...) confirming that's no do-able and putting me off more.

I've never had any kind of 'phobia' until now and I can't believe this has got 'so big'. I don't know how to overcome it. Does anyone know of a way to conquer this, is anyone able to relate to this? Has anything helped?

I get this at the GPs but I'm 10 times worse at the dentist. Recently I was being assessed for sedation for an extraction and they took my blood pressure. It was 160/90 ! Usually at home it's 120/80. I can't seem to do anything to stop it.

This sounds so so difficult OP. EMDR is the gold standard treatment for PTSD so if that hasn't worked did the therapist say what else they would recommend when that ended?

My son has medical PTSD and is currently having EMDR for me now very very slowly as he's only a child with autism so I can't say if it's working or not as yet.

I hope your son has success. I’m also ND and the EMDR has been v slow going -needing to be adapted a bit because of it. I’m over a year in and still doing it but the prep stage was v long and even now I find “containment” difficult. I know it’s meant to be the gold standard so I feel all the more of a failure that it hasn’t yet made me any less reactive. I feel such an oddball - it is so irrational now - my logical mind knows it but my nervous system just isn’t playing ball

ND people are 40% more likely to end up with PTSD after a traumatic event than an NT person according to research so you're definitely not an oddball I can promise you that.

My son's been doing his EMDR for 8 months but like you the prep took a while too and not every session he does processing depending on how bad of a week he's had. I'd say if you're still doing the EMDR then it hasn't been a failure as of yet. What does your therapist say about you still not feeling any progress?

I have this from a very traumatic series of events in a hospital leading to the death of someone I loved dearly. Can’t even phone the doctor now without flashbacks and fear. It’s horrible.

sounds similar to my sessions - some weeks not processing just discussing the week - she says it will be slow as there is years to process and so many connections and I am very slow to feel safe enough and to reach a regulated enough state to do it, and can dissociate -and there are so many linked rabbit holes…and my attention veers v haphazardly.

I’m sorry that happened to you and can understand that would make it hard. I hope things get easier in time - no advice but knowing you are not alone in this from seeing this maybe helps x

Yes I think a lot of people don't realise that the likes of CBT is around 12 week sessions but EMDR is a much longer process and I think in the long term is supposed to the best on offer so I'd keep going with it as much as you can.