Depression after fracture

[LadyPenelope68]

Just wondering if any one else felt the same after a bad injury.

6 weeks ago I had a slip in the shower and ended up breaking my left tibia and fibula, both nasty fractures not straightforward ones. I’ve been in cast 6 weeks, none weight bearing and due to osteoporosis in my other leg, I can only move very short distances.

I’m having to sleep downstairs and use a commode, so my life is revolving around bed/chair/commode. It’s sole destroying and very lonely. My husband had basically had to become my carer overnight and it just changes relationship dynamics totally. He’s also self employed so caring for me means not working, which means money struggles as well causing added strain:

Work colleagues have been brilliant keeping in touch to start but that’s drifted off a bit and as they get in with their lives it feels like I’m being “forgotten” about and contact has dropped. Same with friends, some haven’t even contacted or been to see me at all.

its going to be a very long recovery process and at the minute I just feel scared that I’m not going to get back to normal, maybe not even back to work and that relationships with family, friends and colleagues aren’t going to recover.

is it just be overthinking, or has anyone else felt similar?
thanks

Situational depression is not surprising in the circumstances. I’ve been off work for months as I managed to severely damage my hip. I has the reconstruction and surgery on Friday. I’m now feeling quite sad and low as I’m in the healing phase and it hurts and I’m tired.

im trying to do something small every day for my mood.

if you can borrow a wheelchair or go somewhere with some (garden centre) you could get a change of scene?

Would it help for DH to go back to work? A few hours a day of you being independent and him bringing some money in might help your mood?

There is a definite link between inflammation and depression, and trauma to the body will give rise to inflammation as your body heals itself. So its not surprising you're feeling low.

Regarding your immediate surroundings and feeling stuck, don't think long term. The road to recovery can be arduous but every day is a day in the right direction. Don't think in terms of weeks and months, keep it smaller than that and try and do something positive every day, even if its sitting and watching a favourite film with a cosy blanket and a nice drink. At the end of every day, you're one day closer to full recovery than you were the day before so keep hold of this mentally. Practice self care as well, don't get angry with yourself for not healing quicker, marvel at your body for the work its doing to repair itself. Until you get a bit stronger and are out of the cast, your world is going to be small. Scented candles, diffusers etc all help to lift spirits. If you are able to get outside at all, make sure you get 10 minutes morning and afternoon even if its just standing by the back door and getting some fresh air. Find some black humour, it always helps. There is always something to laugh about and where there's a commode there's some giggling to be found somewhere. I speak as someone who had to wipe their DHs arse for quite some time when he was in dire straits after an accident. I don't mean to be flippant, but finding the funny helps the situation no end. Yes, your husband/wife dynamic has changed right now but its not forever and it won't change anything long term if you both bring goodwill to the situation.

Are you able to call on friends / family to come and visit every week so you've got maybe 2 or 3 people popping in at different times, even if only for an hour, and try and keep it breezy if they do come. Christmas is just around the corner so people will be busy, but suggesting a mince pie and sherry etc to toast the season might work.

The only other thing I recommend is getting hold of some Symphytum homeopathic tablets. Old wives called it Knit Bone for a very good reason.

Good luck, sending you support.

I can sympathise with this greatly. I broke my knee a few years ago, spent months in a wheel chair and then with crutches. Had to move a bed downstairs and wash in the downstairs loo. Was really awful. my husband had to pick up all the slack, we didn’t have children at the time but did have dogs.

My advice is to know that this is temporary, you will get back to normality and whilst this is incredibly difficult right now, you will get passed this.
throw yourself into reading, or a particular TV show, let your house standards drop, have patience and tolerance for your husband as well as yourself and allow yourself to feel upset.

could you take up something like embroidery? Knitting? Some kind of mini project like that to give yourself a little purpose each day

Many years ago I had an accident and ended up with some metalwork in my knee. I was in quite a lot of pain for months and I struggled with crutches so my world shrank enormously. My boss at the time was putting a lot of pressure on me to come back to work which didn't help. I was also scared that I'd never get back the function in my leg that I had and just doing simple things like making a cup of tea was difficult.

Looking back on it now I was definitely suffering from situational depression. It did ease as the pain receded, I got the cast off and eventually could start weight-bearing on my leg again. That allowed my mobility to improve so my world opened up again but it took a good 6 - 9 months before I was more or less back to my old self. It's a big adjustment so it's not surprising it's knocked you back.

Thank you so much for your messages, the kindness and suggestions made me cry. It’s also really helped to hear similar stories and know that it’s not just me losing the plot/reading too much into everything.

@FurForksSake I’m unable to get in a car at the minute or a wheelchair (trying to source one with proper leg support), but that’s the aim when we can sort that. DH is trying to work in between, but as I can’t get to the toilet without support he’s limited to between wee breaks 😂

@hairbearbunches thank you for the suggestions, I’ll certainly bear some of those in mind. People were happy to visit to start with but as it goes on and people have to get on with their lives, I’ve found that visits are petering off a bit. Totally understand, but still frustrating.

@lightslittle the housework standards are something I do need to let go a bit. I’m a real clean freak and e writhing has a place. I’m trying hard not to say things about things not being where they should or as clean as they could be. Things have been tense between us, but I guess that’s to be expected.

@GasperyJacquesRoberts im very scared I’ll never get full function back or be able to return properly to a job I love (Im a Primary Teacher) and I think a lot of my anxiety stems from that.

thank you all for replying x

Your anxiety and the way you’re feeling is so understandable. I thought about your post a few times since you posted and I replied, thinking back to my injury.
I think it’s fair to say with a ln injury like this is very easy for people around you to underestimate the impact on you “it’s just a broken bone”. I found this out pretty early on and realised we had no support around us. We actually got a cleaner and a dog walker to take some of the load off my husband.
i remember thinking i would never be the same again, and wouldn’t be able to play or run after my future children. But that’s not the case now, 5 years later.
like another poster said definitely think about the small wins and don’t think about the enormity of your recovery.
Do you use Facebook? I joined a Facebook group for my particular type of injury and that was helpful - I would recommend that if there is one.
Also this approach doesn’t help everyone but I was brought up with a “things can always be worse” kind of attitude through any kind of hardship and this mindset did help me, there was also a young father in hospital when I had my surgery who had slipped on a wall at home playing on a skateboard with his child and caused himself to be paralysed. Hearing the enormity of that injury compared to mine regularly gave me perspective in my darkest moments. I realise that’s a slightly bleak perspective but it did help me