Genital herpes

[Whatalife88]

Hi all,

Bit embarrassing but I recently had oral with a new partner and a week later I've developed blisters that are very sore down below. I'm assuming they're genital herpes :( he had no idea he carries it and isn't the type to sleep around. Can I go to my GP about this or will I have to go to a sexual health clinic? Also any tips to ease the pain. Can't believe I've caught this. I know there's no cure :(

Hey I would suggest you start with the sexual health clinic as they are so much more experienced (not that GP is not experienced) ie they see this much more often.

I am sorry this happened.

Could you go together? If you stay together this may be something you should
probably handle as a couple.

I am sorry this has happened to you, especially since your partner didn’t know.

I hope you are not in too much discomfort. The Herpes website has a forum section that might give you better answers to some of your more detailed questions.

The sexual health clinic will be the best place to go. They will have medication on hand to give you. Well, they did in my case. May reduce the need to also go into pharmacy.

I have genital herpes from oral sex. HSV1 rather than HSV2 which is the most common cause of herpes.

I remember the agony of it and the clinic gave solution to apply which helped immensely.

@namechange2313 thanks. Do you have it keep coming back?

Go to the sexual health clinic and ask them to swab to find out what kind of herpes. It’s likely it’s the normal mouth cold sore version type 1 .

By normal I mean normally found in the mouth , not that the other kind isn’t normal

@namechange2313 can I ask you a question? This is for me and my own understanding. This is not confrontational at all. I am just curious. Why did you respond to other poster and not me? I gave the exact same advice to go to the sexual health clinic.

If you mean me, I was just responding to the person who had first hand experience first but I was always planning to respond to everyone either individually or collectively. Thank you for your advice.

Another vote for the sexual health clinic here.

I had exactly the same thing happen 14 years ago OP. After the initial episode (which was painful and made me think life was going to be one long sexless, worrying pain) I've never had another episode.

The Herpes website was incredible for advice and making me feel better about the situation. Hope you feel much better soon OP, don't let it get you down, it's very common and you're not alone.

@Riotwoman thank u so much. I've been getting myself into a state about it all day.

I have had a few times I thought it came back but went to the Drs and they said there was nothing there to see. I do get a bit sore but it's not visible and nothing like the first time.

my immune system is pretty bad after developing a health condition so I thought I may get it more but I don't.

Over 15 years I have had that mild discomfort around 4-5 times.

It is also so common. The worse thing about it is the stigma.

The stigma is the most ridiculous thing. When you think that most of humanity have the virus in one form or another.

When I first saw the doctor at the clinic I was all 'woe is me' and she said, very kindly, to get over myself and that most people had it including her and her mother! The worst thing is that nobody ever talks about it. One drunken evening I told my three closest friends about my situation and two of them have the virus too. Truth is, the other one probably does too but hasn't ever had a flare up.

I read somewhere that nobody batted an eyelid about it until in the 1970s when some pharmaceutical firm set up a shock horror advertising campaign in order to flog a new cream treatment.

Love this, thanks for sharing.

OP I was diagnosed with HSV1 approx 10 years ago. First outbreak was by far the worst one. Rarely had outbreaks since, maybe like one every other year. I’ve gone on to have two children and my husband has never caught it. The stigma and the shame is the hardest thing. But even then, I panicked sooo much about telling my then new DP (now DH) and he just wasn’t arsed at all 😂 the Herpes UK website is a great source of information.

https://herpes.org.uk/

This is great information. I wish I had a doctor who said that to me. I felt so ashamed and dirty at the time. It took me years to educate myself about it.

I have been single the last 2 years after a 14 years marriage and I have been worried about telling a potential new partner but I have come to realise it's potentially a brilliant filter.

@Whatalife88 hey I hope you are not in too much discomfort.

I am sorry for asking the question I did on your thread - reflecting on it since yesterday it was a very self absorbed thing to post when you have bigger issues to worry about.

I hope you have received, and continue to receive, supportive and helpful advice.

@namechange2313

If it is of any use, I wanted to share that I am single after a 22 year marriage. I have met someone who I really like and he told
me he has herpes.

The number one reason I have continued with him (aside from liking him so much) is that he was completely honest with me very soon into things (before any sort of physical intimacy) and I have so much respect for him for doing that - I could tell it was excruciating for him to tell me.

His honesty was a brilliant filter for me.

I wish you luck on your dating journey.

That really is great to hear and makes me feel loads better. Having the conversation often terrifies me because some people have this preconception that it is something shameful but I would want potential partners to know.

I'm pretty sure my ex on the other hand has entered several sexual relationships without that honesty. I just could not do that.

Thank you for sharing.

@Whatalife88 Can I ask how things are for you now op a few months on, have you had further outbreaks?
Im suffering from my very first outbreak, not yet diagnosed as im at the GUM clinic later today but I can tell it is mostly probably herpes and Im devastated.
Im suspecting its come from my current partner of 7 months who suffers from cold sores even though we were always extremely careful to avoid oral sex etc during his flare ups, or so we thought!
I can't believe ive been unlucky enough to catch this at almost 50 and im worried about what the future holds living with this.
I cannot talk to anyone in real life due to the stigma. im only 5 days in and its having a huge impact on my mental health.
Im almost 50 years old he is only my 3rd sexual partner and I have always been extremely careful and paranoid about stds, this one especially as I know its life long.
I can't believe this has happened to me.

To get tested you need to have an active outbreak.

I caught herpes a few years ago from a new partner. I remember all too well the shock and feeling that my life would never be the same again.

I had 2 outbreaks in 3 months including the first one. Then another a few years later which was basically more irritating than painful.

Fast forward a few more years I got divorced and met someone else. I was SO worried about telling him that I lost sleep. But I knew I needed to do it before we were physically intimate. And he genuinely didnt care. In his words he said he would be stupid to say goodbye to a good relationship for the sake of a skin condition.

Your life isnt over. Your outbreak now is likely to be the worst one and you may never have another. Be kind to yourself as its not as bad as you think right now I promise.

Thank you for your response. I know i shouldn't but ive been reading awful threads on here about people having monthly outbreaks and having to take anti virals at a huge financial expense for years on end.
I feel im never going to be the same again. Im peri menopausal at almost 50 and im wondering if I will suffer worse because of that.

Its hard to say. We all react differently. But from what I know and from reading posts on here, most of the time the first outbreak is the worst. I am the same age as you and it doesn't affect my life anymore. Hopefully it will be the same for you.

You could go to either. It’s not a serious or complex thing so no need for expertise

I contracted it through oral sex 25 years ago, I’ve never had a follow up infection or flare up 😁