Diagnosed autistic as an adult

[Spanielsandpups]

Hi all

after a 3.5 year waitlist, I have been diagnosed with autism at 25 today.

it honestly feels huge and I wondered if anyone else has already navigated this and has any advice please?

Hiya, I was diagnosed a few months ago, age 40.
Finding it quite difficult TBH (was diagnosed ADHD too)
Although it makes a lot of sense and its a relief to know that there was a reason for me always feeling like an alien its quite difficult to accept.

I still feel weird saying 'I am autistic ' outloud and when I've been at the Drs and abother medical situation where itbwas necessary to disclose that, I felt quite stupid saying it.

I think what you really do need to remember is that the diagnosis might provide clarity to you, but for everyone who knows you you are still the same person. They know what your like, what you like and dislike, what are challenges. So the diagnosis makes zero difference to them, and therefore they may well be a lot less interested in discussing it than you would like. They, in all honesty, have probably thought you were autistic for years so it's old news. Definitely talk about it if you feel it would help, but it might be worth doing the majority of the discussions with a therapist rather than friends and family as they won't be the sounding board you hope for. They love you for who you are, and a diagnosis changes nothing with regards to that.

It’s a wild journey so I’ve definitely taken comfort that you are feeling similar to me thank you for sharing 💓

Thank you for your thoughts. I don’t think I’ll share beyond my husband as have had horrible comments from uneducated family members but yes I think I’ll go back to therapy for a few months to sit and think thank you

Had and epiphany at 49 and realised I was autistic. Got diagnosed at 50. There was a long mourning period where I felt I had been robbed of my childhood, education, good parenting etc. Took a long long time to get over that, a few years. But should be easier for you OP at 25.

And congratulations by the way on your diagnosis. I hope it helps you feel and live better

I was diagnosed at 37. It didn’t come as a shock. I have found it very helpful with navigating my life and putting things in place which help me to cope in a world set up for NT people.

I got my diagnosis last year and I'm in my early 70s.

As @Tismwizzard puts it so well :it's good to know why I feel like an alien.
And in a way it's taken away my guilt for being as I am.

But it also has depressed me because I've always thought there was a chance of changing myself through therapy or whatever. But the diagnosis has made me realise this is who I am and I don't really have the ability to change.

Give yourself time. I was 24 at diagnosis and you will basically reflect back over your entire life with a different lens. Some of it will be uncomfortable and take time to come to terms with.

Then you need to look forward. Again this will take time. Is there anything in your life that you might like to change with the new information? I ditched some friends I realised were using me. What support can you access? Who do you want to tell?One thing at a time.

It took me about a year to work through various feelings and to work out how it sits with me. I’m now 33 and comfortable with my identity as an autistic woman and confident that I’ve made life choices that work for me. I don’t have a positive/negative feeling about it, I just see it as a tool and extra information that helps me make better choices, understand myself and play my strengths and weaknesses.

My wonderful DH was my boss at the time and told me that I’d probably go backwards to start with. I spent about 6 months being totally in my own head about things I struggled with and feeling vulnerable. He reminded me that I can still learn things, my way might just be a bit different. If I’m struggling with something whereas that’s social or executive function, I now make measured decisions of where I want to focus on.

Thank you all for sharing so openly it’s so helpful xx