I would say this has pretty much become an all consuming obsession for me. I know it sounds negative but I always feel like when one family member gets seriously ill with cancer, a few months down the line it ends up repeating itself for another family member. I also feel like I dont honestly know how to access support for my anxiety because of how I evidently dont cope with it because all i have to do is look down at my arms and the evidence is all there. And I have heard from a couple of people i know at groups I go to, that often the NHS or even private therapists aren't willing to work with clients who are actively harming themselves