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(Flying) Bear hugs for Steve, onlyjoking and their children

1000 replies

WanderingTrolley · 01/06/2008 23:15

Please note this thread has been continued here
For Steve

For oj

For Elliot

Quick! What do the girls like?

Is this ok? I think you said one of them liked to watch it.

Is that everyone sorted?

Not forgetting the carers!

OP posts:
onlyjoking9329 · 06/06/2008 11:48

sorry not got time to type much so i will add the C&P email that me mate sent on to other mates to save me the time
I just spoke to Jo on the phone.

She has had the worst day ever. She was just getting ready to take the kids
to the bus stop this morning when the nurse suggested that she get someone
else to do it (obviously thinking that Steve might not still be with them by
the time she got back). Jo did that, and has been on tenterhooks all day.
Steve is still hanging on.

Her MIL has been this morning, and refused to leave. Kicked up a fuss as
usual - thankfully the Social Worker was there dealing with it, and Jo was
upstairs out of the way. Many accusations were made, but this time they
were wisely not handed on. MIL mentioned that she was going to meet Steve's
brother and sister for lunch.

Steve's brother Mike was called by the SW It was suggested that he come in the afternoon if he wanted to say goodbye,
but he said he couldn't leave work (MIL had already said he had the day
off!!). When Mike was told that visits have been restricted to 20 minutes
he was not happy. He said he had been Steve's brother for 50 years, and as
such he and his family should take precedence over Jo and the kids!!!!

Mike and his sister came and his sister was threatening and abusive to the 2 SW about JO, BIL and SIL had to be asked to leave.

Thank goodness for the decent professionals that are involved, Lisa one of the SW came at 9.30 am and left at 8.40 pm
Jo's ha some fantastic mates.
Tracey has been round most of the day, and has gone home
for a few bits. She is going to come back tonight and spend the night with
Jo.

Much as no-one wants to wish him away it feels like it would be the kindest
thing for all if Steve just slipped quietly away now. It is the girls'
birthday on Saturday - it would be really hard if it happened then.

Twinkle21 · 06/06/2008 11:50

OJ I hope that you and your children are finding strength in each other at this horrid time. I am so sorry that you are having to face this, but you are not alone, the thoughts and prayers of so many people are with you. I am proud to be a member of this wonderful community. My thoughts are with you.
xxx

fryalot · 06/06/2008 11:50

oh jo!!!!

much love to you, steve and the kids.

(not going to contaminate this thread by putting my thoughts about in-laws... I shall save that for another time)

xx

onlyjoking9329 · 06/06/2008 11:50

Mil this morning phoned the SW to see if there was any news on steve, MIL said she wasn't sure if to sit by the phone or go shopping
she aslo asked if the SW was coming here today the SW has warned me to keep doors locked as MIL may come over.

Buda · 06/06/2008 11:50

Oh OJ. They really are the absolute limit. I am so sorry that they are putting you through this.

Thank God for the SW and your friends.

So sad for you that you have all this to deal with as well as losing your beloved Steve.

Niecie · 06/06/2008 11:52

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Safe journey, Steve.

shabster · 06/06/2008 11:52

OJ every time I try to post there are no adequate words. Nothing I can say. Just sending thoughts and love from Lancashire xxxx

kayzisexpecting · 06/06/2008 11:52

Oh Jo darling. I am so so sorry. I do wish that they were much nicer. You should all be there together helping each other through. They shouldn't be doing this to you.

I am so angry they could do such a thing at a time like this.

littlelapin · 06/06/2008 11:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PortBlacksandResident · 06/06/2008 11:54

Thinking of you all. From a long long time lurker.

lilibet · 06/06/2008 11:54

you poor, poor love

no one deserves to go through this

I will refrain from talking about your in laws

sparklesandnowinefor5months · 06/06/2008 11:54

thinking of you all x

saffy202 · 06/06/2008 11:54

OJ you have handled it all with so much dignity. I am completely speechless about your IL's and their behaviour at this time.

Much love and strength to you all.

smallcreep · 06/06/2008 11:55

In all of this I hope you feel the support and love of all those both here and who know you personally, and gain strength to cope ,and peace.

snowleopard · 06/06/2008 11:55

Oh OJ how appalling for you. Tell yourself that these mad people are not able to cope and their distress is coming out as this awful behaviour. They cannot touch the true love and closeness between you and Steve and you will always know that you stood by your man and saw him through. It is your love and strength that means everything to him and they can't take that away. Will be thinking of you today.

MONKEYMONKEY · 06/06/2008 11:56

OJ she really is bad. This should be a time where she can SHOULD say right everything aside lets pull together for Steves sake and get on.

anorak · 06/06/2008 11:57

I'm so sorry Jo - Thank goodness you are not dealing with this alone. Keep you dignity and moral high ground no matter what - it will bring you comfort later x

notjustmom · 06/06/2008 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotABanana · 06/06/2008 11:58

I am so sorry to hear you are going through all this. His family really are unbelievable. Tell his mother to go shopping.

Thinking of you all all, the time. x

alittleone2 · 06/06/2008 12:00

Message withdrawn

pooka · 06/06/2008 12:01

OJ. Words fail me at how crass and selfish your in-laws are being.

They sound like they are completely tied up with how THEY are feeling, lacking the ability to see beyond their own experience to comprehend what a difficult journey this has been for you, your children, and of course, Steve.

How dare they make an unbearable situation worse?

Hope you have support with you.

COncentrate on yourself, Steve and the children. You're the ones that are most important at the moment.

chocaholic73 · 06/06/2008 12:03

Jo ..what can I say ...I do not understand how your ILs can be so difficult at a time like this. They clearly havent grasped the fact that the reason their visits are limited is because of their behaviour.
I hope that Steve's journey is peaceful and that you can get comfort from the fact that his pain will be over.

wannaBe · 06/06/2008 12:04

jesus the woman really is a piece of work.

I guess the one positive to thing to come out of all this though must be that you shortly will never have to see her again.

JillJ72 · 06/06/2008 12:04

I've not posted before, but I have been reading your updates, and it is heartwarming to see the depth of support you have on Mumsnet, and also the depth and breadth of the love you and Steve have for each other, and for your children. It is so sad that your time together on earth is nearly over, but you'll always be together, in heart, in mind and in soul.

The only thing I would say about your ILs (apart from a very big is that I hope with time they will realise just how despicable they are/have been. They are lucky you even open the door to them now. Vile behaviour, very saddening, and very unnecessary, but they will have to live with what they have done.

Go gently, Steve, and gentle {{{HUGS}}} for you and your children.

Jill xxx

moonmother · 06/06/2008 12:05

A long time lurker here that hasn't posted on your thread before,mostly because I just couldn't think of any words that would and will make this better for you,not that anything can.

But let me say that checking this thread,like many others ,is the first and last thing I do on the internet every day.

Jo,Steve and your beautiful darling children-you have all and still are being so brave and fighting for every second you have left,and sadly your bravest times are still yet to come.

I am appalled at Steve's family and the way they are behaving,sadly though in situations when loved ones pass over this all too often happens.

Jo I think it was yesterday you said although thinking about things like olives now makes you upset,you know in the times ahead thinking about olives will make you smile when you remember back before all the problems Steve's illness has caused.

Likewise Steve's family will have these times but when you and your children think back to the period of Steve's illness and his passing ,you all can and will hold your heads up high and ,in time ,perhaps even will be able to remember things that will make you smile,your in-laws won't,their behaviour is despicable and when they look back on this time they will remember and realise all they have done is cause pain to Steves loved ones and brought shame and humiliation on themselves.

I send you ,Jo and your children the strength and bravery that you will all need in Steve's final hours,and thoughts from my family here.

To Steve I wish love,light and peace at your passing.

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