Bruise on brain?

[DyslexicPoster]

Mil fell last night. Fil said at first there was suspected bleed on brain and they was waiting on neurosurgeon. Now it's a bruise on the brain.

They are two highly intelligent people but have form for either downplaying serious health emergencies or just telling us stuff that's not true. Ie chest pain that got a A&E blue light ambulance was heart burn..... that required multiple stents

They are hundreds of miles away.

I'm worried because mil hasn't been stitched up ten hours plus after being admitted. Yes we have asked why. Why wouldn't a head wound be stcthed up? Are they waiting for swelling to go down? Mil hates hospital so I can imagine her refusing but she also sounds in a bad way. Worrying as dh can't just pop over and check

She may not have any cuts so doesnt need stitching up? You sound like you care a lot which is lovely. They are able to decide how much they want to tell you though.

a brain bruise is more commonly known as a concussion.
you don't need to have a scalp laceration to have a concussion.

I'd downplay my own illness as I can't cope with people who flap. Maybe this is their thought? Have you asked directly "what can we do" "shall we come" "should we be worried" then accept their answer and try not to escalate.

It's normal to worry but keep it from them

She has cut her head open so it does need stitching. Yes totally appreciate it's none of our business but trying to internally prepair or not to factor in driving up there at short notice.

So if they said its fine but mil has had brain surgery dh would go weather they liked it or not. Conclusion he would stay away at their request.

@DyslexicPosterits a bit of an extreme reaction to think a fall would be followed by brain surgery? Perhaps they just don’t want to worry you. I find my limit any health information I give my mum as she makes me more anxious and thinking of the worse outcomes.

How is it an extreme reaction when the op states that her MIL had had a head injury leading to a bleed on the brain that A&E have requested neurosurgery to assess for a plan of care??

A bruise in the brain is a contusion, or intracerebral haematoma, not a concussion.

Have you had any more updates op? Can your DH ask your FIL for permission to speak to your DMILs Dr? Explain that you want to know how serious this injuries are, in order to decide what to do.

A bleed or collection of blood on the brain can be anything from minor and able to self resolve, all the way to extremely serious. Have you heard from his DM, or just from his DF? I think this is one of those times your DH needs to tell his DF to stop minimising and give an actual honest answer as to just how serious this injury is. Maybe say something a bit dramatic along the lines of I’ll never forgive you if mum dies and I didn’t get to see her because you were minimising things. That might possibly knock his conscience enough for him to be more factually accurate. Ask what the neurosurgeon said. Do they want to intervene, or is it something they will just monitor for a time, or is it so minor she doesn’t need their input🤷‍♀️

The other option would be for your DH to call A&E and ask to speak to one of the nurses, just explain that parents have a habit of downplaying everything, but he’s worried it might be serious. Say you live a long distance away, and need to know if it’s serious enough that he should travel there or not. They may give you an idea of how minor or serious her condition is.

If she has some sort of facial laceration it may be that they are waiting for a member of the plastic surgery team or maxillo-facial team to assess it to decide the best way to repair it and minimise scarring if it’s large or an awkward shape. Or it may be that her head injury is more serious and that is their priority.

I hope that it is all minor op, and that your MIL is soon recovered.

Fil said she was waiting to see a nuro surgeon to release a bleed on the brain? So I'm.not assuming. Dr told fil this who told dh. She fell down multiple concrete steps onto a pavement from height when shopping. CT showed bleeding and blood under her skull. Hence head injury inside and outside.

I'm presuming the bleeding stopped as there was no surgery needed once the neuro looked I guess at what the ct team saw. Someone looking at the CT thought it needed surgery. They was wrong but obviously still a bit concerned as even drilling to relive pressure suggests swelling on a sentive organ.

Anyway she is fine now obviously. I was just poundering last night it they hadn't stitched her up because they are still worried about swelling. It's only because it's her head I'm.worried which in the cold light of day was maybe a bit stupid. She will be home by now hopefully

Thanks. Will tell dh to try this. He couldn't speak to mil directly yesterday as she was in majors in a bad way waiting on Drs etc

She is either better this morning and fit to talk or she's not that in itself raises questions. If she has had her head stitched that will also be good news.

I never thought it could have been her face. Just stupidly assumed when fil said head he meant back of her head.

Will see what the day brings I guess.

Whilst it is understandable that you are worried about her, what she chooses to tell you and her child is entirely her own business.

She can disclose some, all or none of her personal medical information for whatever she decides to whomever she decides.

Some people are simply private and prefer to deal with things on their own. It could be this.

It could be they simply don't know yet and are waiting on information - it can be very slow for things to happen, or to wait to see if anything progresses or resolves.

Whilst it is uncomfortable you simply have to wait for information to be given to you and your husband. You also have to listen to whether your in laws want people there or not.

Some family members can think only about themselves and what makes them feel comfortable - often intruding when they have not been invited so that they can feel better themselves - don't do that - do the difficult thing of waiting and following your MIL's lead.

We fully understand and respect that. Dh has not hassled for more than has been told. We are just trying to gadge how serious this still is. She is in her 80s. I presume she will not bounce back like a 18 year old. It's his mum. Not his boss.