Worried about my 19 year old DD health and weight

[ThingsCanGetBetter]

My DD is 19 and as far as I know weighs around 110kg. She complains of bad knees, she isn’t very active because of this, vitiligo has appeared over the last year, she is on the waiting list for an autism assessment which I think is the reason for her very fussy unhealthy diet, she has white under her tongue which I have googled as leukoplakia probably due to her diet.
the reason for most post is I’m in frustration mode on how to help her. I’m worried about her health and her weight, she isn’t bothered at all and isn’t bothered about the risks she is adding to her health.
As she is 19 there’s only so much I can do to help as she has her own daily life and money.
She clearly has a low immune system due to very little fruit and veg and I’m so worried this is going to spiral.
Any advise would be much appreciated, Thanks.

How much you can support her depends on at least two things.
Does she live with you?
Who buys the food and who cooks?

Yes she lives with me but also spends a lot of the week at her boyfriends too.
I do the food shopping, when I cook for her I cook fresh meals ie fresh chicken and add veg that I know she will eat. That being broccoli, raw peppers or cucumber.
If I was to cook her anything ‘new’ she’s very stubborn in the fact that she will not try anything new or anything that she doesn’t want to eat.
She has her own money so will eat out when she wants and buys her own snacks which I don’t know about.
I don’t mean to come across as controlling I’m trying to help her but she’s very self minded

Could you suggest she takes weight loss injections.

The bad knee problem is circular - calorie imbalance means weight gain causing more pressure on joints and then exercise feels painful so you stop, but that just means the calorie imbalance isn’t addressed.

I think it’s a MH problem. She’d be a good candidate for weight loss drugs.

She must be spending a fortune on snacks if you feed her healthy food only at home. Maybe you should increase her rent and hold back the money to help her

Rent won't solve this, plus if she finds out the reasoning she might pull back even more. Yes having less money would mean she'd have less to spend on food but she'll leave eventually and you don't want her to fall into the same habits everytime she starts earning more money, or gets more independence. I'd have a conversation but be respectful and not too pushy, she could go to her GP if she's struggling with MH, often times that can stabilise her to do more low- intensity exercise and maybe you can go to classes together (find something she enjoys - pirates, gym, HIT classes, sport teams) and then she can maybe see about WLJ but private as I don't think she'd meet the NHS criteria currently.

Thanks for the replies so far…
she’s only working part time atm so doesn’t earn a massive amount of money but what she eats at her boyfriends house also I don’t know.
i have spoke to her numerous times, not focusing so much on her weight but more so the health risks that come with this as like someone said I wouldn’t want to push her away.
overall she needs to move more and eat more balanced but so hard when she has problems with foods especially textures.
I’ve suggested we go to the doctor together and see a dietician/nutritionist but she isn’t willing.
She must deep down know what she’s doing and where this will just get worse over the years but really has a ‘don’t care’ approach 😞 it’s like an obsession with unhealthy foods and it’s so sad to watch.
In reference to the injections she has a massive needle phobia altho we haven’t spoke about this I can imagine her response.

Thanks for the replies so far…
she’s only working part time atm so doesn’t earn a massive amount of money but what she eats at her boyfriends house also I don’t know.
i have spoke to her numerous times, not focusing so much on her weight but more so the health risks that come with this as like someone said I wouldn’t want to push her away.
overall she needs to move more and eat more balanced but so hard when she has problems with foods especially textures.
I’ve suggested we go to the doctor together and see a dietician/nutritionist but she isn’t willing.
She must deep down know what she’s doing and where this will just get worse over the years but really has a ‘don’t care’ approach 😞 it’s like an obsession with unhealthy foods and it’s so sad to watch.
In reference to the injections she has a massive needle phobia altho we haven’t spoke about this I can imagine her response.