I've started binge eating - help......

[DrZeus]

I think I've got myself into an eating disorder. I've lost over 3.5 stone over the last 18 months. Recently tho' (over the last 2 months maybe) I can feel my previous eating habits returning and I've started binge eating. I'll just eat and eat crap food (the stuff that I weaned myself off - biscuits, carbs etc). Then I'll regret and feel sick. Then I take senakot and feel dreadful the next day until I purge what I've eaten.

I've been abit stressed with stuff at home with dh and dc. I really don't want to go back to the way I was before being overweight and unhappy and I want to stop bingeing. Anyone got any advice - I start each day full of good intentions and it's only one slip up that seems to ruin everything. I don't binge every day but probably once a week maybe.
Thanks for reading.
DrZeus (I have changed my name for this as I don't want DH or RL friends recognising me - I am a regular here tho').

I think the most crucial thing is NOT TO PANIC when you eat something you feel you 'shouldn't'. I speak as a reformed bulimic, here. For me, realising that a biscuit is just a biscuit was key.

Try and keep the 'bad' stuff out of sight, if you can. When I was feeling prone to binges I found leaving the house was good. If you can be somewhere where there is no food around you for an hour or so, you may feel calmer.

Have you seen your GP? Some people here found that Prozac was helpful in treating an underlying depression that was triggering binges. I didn't use ADs because they weren't widely prescribed when I had bulimia. But I think it would have helped me.

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Thanks guys. I love being slim. I love the positive comments I've had. I've gone from a size 14/16 to a size 8. I can't complain - I feel good about myself. That's what makes this so uncomfortable and unexplained and frankly, quite disturbing. I feel like I'm trying to sabotage what I've achieved. I don't buy the crap but I do home bake for the kids. I'll have to stop that for the moment. I think being at home too is bad - I'm more "in control" if I'm out and about.
Will head off out today and try and keep a clear head. Had a bad binge yesterday and feeling somewhat fragile so I'll keep busy with the kids.

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Are/were you hungry often before you started binging?

Binging (loss of control) often happens because you lack sufficient sugar/fat in your system. For a while you are able to control yourself (looking in the mirror and loving your reflection can work well) but as soon as life becomes more stressful you lose the ability to override your body's cravings for fat/sugar.

Maybe you need to eat a little more on a regular basis (and perhaps be a size 10, not 8) for comfort?

(Ex binger speaking from experience)

Size 8 from 14/16 is amazing - wow!

What you are describing is bulimia and it is not likely you can just snap out of it. You need to think about why you got overweight in the first place (emotionally I mean, not the eating obv!) and then get some sort of help. You might be able to do it with just a self help book if it is not too out of control yet.

Do you have anything else in your life that you are trying to be in control of - I have had years of eating disorders - mostly as a teenager but as soon as I get stressed the ugly monster rears its head again and I find myself with my fingers down my throat - to me it isn't about being fat it is about being able to control something when everything else seems so desperate!!

Hey DrZeus, im a lot like you in the way i eat crap and feel guilty, then eat more...today(due to the thread about large clothes) i have made myself a huge pan of pasta, mixed in low fat mayo and tomato and onion sauce, added water to make it more runny and chucked it over the pasta, only other thing ive addded it cherry toms and cucumber..im as full as a gun, thats my prob..i have to MAKE mysefl eat and when i dont i get peckish and start on the crap in the cupboards..this is quite low on slimming world(which is were i return frequently like a prodigical son)but really fills me up..try and find something you like like this to eat and see if it stops the sweet/savory/fatty cravings??
good luck

Thanks for all the replies, I'm very grateful. I've had a better day today. Went out with the children this afternoon for lunch (I had a lovely chicken salad) and then to collect a win on Ebay! Didn't feel the need to binge at all, but then I'm still feeling a bit delicate from yesterday.
Pink Chick, I did Slimming World and loved it, I need to dig out the books and do some menu planning (not to lose weight tho'). That way, I'm less likely to pick at anything in the fridge or cupboard.
Anna8888, I seem to find that I've eaten a meal but can't stop picking. Particularly if there is something sweet (kids stuff) there. If I have one bit, that's it, I'm stuffed . Doesn't happen all the time, just when I feel stressed or the kids are playing up at teatime. After school really does seem to be my danger time. I've had stuff on my mind too about my relationship which hasn't helped recently. That may explain why, at 43, I've changed eating habits.
I'm very grateful for all the posts, it's made me feel a lot more positive about things.
Thank you.

If you have been used to comfort eating of sweet stuff for many years, I think that it can be very difficult to break the habit. And when you have been depriving yourself of your normal comforter (in the sense that you have dieted and have had to exert willpower over your reflexes), when you "break the spell" and let yourself eat one sweet thing, all hell can break loose.

All I can say is - persevere with your healthier diet, don't let yourself get hungry or deprive yourself of all sweet/fatty stuff, and try to look for alternative sources of comfort when you feel stressed (after school or whenever). Oh - and try to avoid stress in the first place (which might require quite a lot of thinking).

have you read "the hungry years" by william leith. Its a really honest story about his binges and the reasons behind them. It may help

My weight gain really happened during and post pregnancy. I don't think I've comfort ate sweet stuff really in the past, but after having the kids, I tended to hoover up the left overs (as you do!). Stopped doing that when I did Slimming World, which really changed the way I feel about food. I need to recapture that enthusiasm for eating healthy, which I know I can do. This binge habit is very recent. I'm pretty sure I understand why it's happened.

I need to refocus and change routine (particularly in that hour after school before the kids tea). I'm considering some part time work in September when the youngest starts reception. It's time to do something for me!

Great idea with the menu planning DrZeus. I wonder whether it would also be a good idea to get rid of all the sweet and unhealthy snacky stuff in your house too? It is always best not to keep things in that trigger binges, and also you will be teaching your children better eating habits.

Had a good day yesterday and took the children to London for the afternoon. Even survived the underground and getting wet in the rain! Today, not so good, dc are v/tired and I'm getting the fallout. So far resisted temptation, just deciding what to do for tea - I've got some tofu to use up or loads of eggs. Will probably throw beans on toast together for dc and let them have an early night (I know I need one!). Just a shame DH has been at work this week during half term. I feel I need a break from entertaining/keeping two little ones amused/stopping them from killing each other - maybe tomorrow!