Need abit of advice after TFMR

[booJo24902]

Hiya ,
we had to terminate our little boy because he had complex CHD in the setting of right isomerism. Gonna attach a pic of a more detailed report on his condition.
we lost him 16days ago at 22weeks.
I spoke to my gp today as I really want to try again our little boy took 4years to come to us and it ended how it did… but doc said it’s probably best to wait to speak to our consultant first and find out the reason why he had this condition.
Its now made me think if his condition was a genetic thing and if it is then are we ever able to have a little one? Has anybody else been through the same thing and went on to have a healthy baby? I’m actually worried sick till our boys autopsy comes back in a few months. It would break my heart knowing we would never have a baby of our own.
for reference I have 3 children from previous. My now partner has no children. Our son was his first.
Thank you x

♥️I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Someone I love had to make that choice recently at 21 weeks. It was due to multiple complications with heart defects and a missing kidney from Edwards Syndrome. In this case, it was chromosomal, and I doubt they'll try again. (She had 2 early miscarriages in the 3 years before.)

No help from me, but I didn't want to pass by without giving you my heartfelt condolences. It's heartbreaking, isn't it?

I'm so sorry.
Try contacting ARC-UK. They have a helpline and are knowledgeable and kind.

I hope this website helps a little:

https://www.tfmrmamas.com/

Sending very unmumsnetty hugs and prayers to you. 💔

I had a tfmr last December due to t21 and complex heart issues. I had a bereavement appt in March with the consultant and geneticist and am now 19 weeks pregnant. So far things look ok this time…

Do you have a bereavement appt booked?

Congratulations. Yes they are in the process of sorting it all out for me. Sorry for your loss too xxx

Thank you x

I had to have a TFMR and it’s tough, I’m very sorry for your loss.

You should wait to find out if this is something genetic and if so what the percentage risk. Take things from there.

Arc are fantastic - for now in your grief and whatever the outcome of the genetic testing- and I was also provided with a Bereavement Midwife. I really recommend you asking for one, she was so helpful to me.

So sorry for your loss.

The GP is right to suggest that you wait - not just because it's important to see whether there is a genetic component (which if there is one, could be one that doesn't affect every pregnancy, so don't assume it's impossible) or environmental factors that could be change and you can discuss/plan what could happen in terms of testing and management of a future pregnancy, but because it's so soon. I understand that you want to try straight away, but without knowing the possible causes or planning for your care, it could be even more difficult for you emotionally to go through early pregnancy without this information and without having time to physically heal.

I hope that you get your answers soon and that you have your happy ever after.

Thank you so much for this ❤️