2 kids a husband and I'm still embarrassed about sex!

[Cat345]

i am a mum of 2 kids, married 10
years and I still get so embarrassed with intimacy... when I found out I was pregnant I felt really awkward and icky telling my mum as she'd know we'd been having sex. I know how ridiculous that sounds, especially as I'm almost 40!!! My husband and I barely have sex - in fact if I'm honest I dread it. It's not horrible or anything but I've never had a high sex drive and I just find the whole thing so awkward. It's not his fault - I'm like this with everyone and it would help me so much if I could fix it but I don't know how. Then I could also work on being warmer (cuddles touching etc) but at the moment I don't do those things as I'm concerned it might lead to sex. He isn't a particularly touchy feely person either which doesn't help as it isn't the norm in our house to sit and cuddle or anything. Help! Do I need therapy?!

I think it's only a problem, if either of you is unhappy with it. Do you want to be more intimate? Does your husband? Have you spoken about it with him?

There are some very good sex therapists. (My friend is one - although I'm not sure I'd send people to her as she's far too pretty).
I find sex with my husband gets more awkward if we haven't had sex for a while, so do it more regularly and instigate something intimate - ask for a massage or a foot rub or something like that to get you in the mood? Or even a cuddle.

It's really important to keep your relationship active even when you have children and I'm sure lots of people feel like you.

I don't particularly want more sex but would I guess like to be a bit more lovely with each other - cuddles, kisses etc. he is neurodiverse and struggles with that sort of thing anyway so regardless of what I want, it's unlikely to happen. He seems pretty happy. He only wants sex once in a while and when he does, I partake but after having our second child and the postnatal issues that that brings, I just am not into it at all.

If it makes you feel better OP I have exactly the same ick when it comes to my mum and the fact that I have kids. I can’t help thinking about it. I wish I didn’t! But you are not alone.