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I feel so very below par all the time, where can I go for help?

54 replies

Normansglasseye · 24/06/2025 21:48

Do I go to the GP and ask for more tests? I don't know what to do anymore.

This is a list of my issues, most are very long term, daily and are getting worse the older I get, any idea what it could be or could it be several things? I'm at a loss and so worn out and knackered that I don't feel I have the energy to push for anything.

  1. Digestive issues. First diagnosed with 'IBS' almost 30 years ago. Been up and down for the last few decades but the last 6 years have been dreadful. Since 2019 I've had 2 colonoscopies (with biopsies for microscopic colitis), a gastroscope, a bile acid malabsorption scan, a pill camera endoscopy, tests (blood tests, stool tests and biopsies for h pylori, coeliac disease etc). All clear except for SIBO but antibiotics made me worse and gastro tells me the tests are unreliable and to not concern myself about it too much this. As she has ruled out all serious conditions she just now says it's all health anxiety yet every day I wake and rush to the loo. I go 1-4 times a day. Anything from constipation to loose stool. Pain, burping, nausea, gurgling guts all the time, excessive gas up and down, speedy gastro colic reflex so I need to poop as soon as I eat which is not fun and rules out socialising nowadays. Bloating so look pregnant some evenings. Pressure feeling in rectal area all the time. Nothing I do seems to help, no amount of careful eating and food dairy filing for the last few years detects anything ie low fodmapping, avoiding trigger foods:- wheat, diary, fatty foods, eggs, artificial sweeteners etc help either. I only drink water and am so careful with food, fibre etc. Probiotics made things worse. I exercise, listen to gut directed hypnotherapy following on from private sessions etc etc......nothing is helping, it's all getting worse. I have spent a fortune on finding something to help. GP says there is nothing more she can do to help. I've tried SSRI's which made things worse, Amitriptyline which made me zombie like and very confused. I survive on peppermint oil capsules and imodium when needed and gaviscon for the acid/nausea but that has little effect. My bad guts make me absolutely miserable all the time. I no longer work as a result of the unpredictable nature of my gut issues. My gut issues are truly the bain of my life, I can not emphasize that enough.
  1. Endometriosis. Following on from decades of gynae issues and severe anaemia due to heavy bleeding I opted for a uterine ablation in 2022. That stopped the heavy bleeding but the ablation failed as I am now in agony with each period. I asked for a MRI in 2023, turns out I had endometriosis all along (mri says deep endometriosis). The ablation had forced the undiagnosed endo into the walls of my uterus causing an additional issue of adenomyosis. I also have a very retroverted uterus and always feel as though it's sitting on my rectal area causing the pressure feeling. I am still on a waiting list for a laparoscopy which hopefully will be this year, sometime. My endo gynae won't discuss the possibility of the endo and gut issues being connected, says it's nothing to do with it but in the same breath says if the lap discovers it's on my bowel he will stop the procedure and I'll need it done again with a colorectal surgeon on hand!
  1. Constant tiredness to the point of exhaustion. I have no energy for anything. I sleep 7-8 hours a night but could sleep on/off for hours during the day if I let myself. I had ferritin levels below 3 for 10 years but had an infusion before the ablation and now levels are normal so I don't think it's low iron anymore.

  2. I have awful anxiety, unbearable in the mornings, I am constantly on edge and have panic attacks throughout the day. My nerves are frayed to say the least. I am 52 and in perimenopause, maybe this is the cause but I am also caring for mum who has Alzheimer's which is hell in itself, so not sure exactly what is causing the major anxiety. I do also have ADHD (diagnosed this year!) and I do find it hard to regulate negative emotions at times.

  3. Depression - I am so very depressed and feel I have zero joy in my life but certain that's all caused by the above.

  4. Constant aching muscles, my toes often cramp, I feel tension in my neck, shoulders and jaw (I have tmjd disorder). Fingers, toes and joints all click and creak.

  5. I am very bendy and can bend my thumb to the side of my wrist, I can do the prayer pose up by my back/shoulder blades etc, have always been super bendy but not in a good way, too much yoga hurts. I have thought that I may have joint hyper mobility for some time but my GP says no. My ds19 has it and regular knee subluxations.

  6. I struggle to regulate my temperature. In the winter I am always absolutely freezing, can never get warm and I have Raynaud's (mum and grandad also have it), yet in heatwaves I feel as though I'm am about to explode with the heat (especially in hands and feet). I feel very unwell in hot weather and sitting in the sun.

  7. I am in perimenopause at 52 but still having a cycle so no sign of menopause yet. I tried hrt but it made the endo/ablation pain worse so not sure what to do about that. I'm hoping one day to get a hysterectomy.

All blood tests with GP are within normal ranges.

I acknowledge that I am very stressed caring for mum and perimenopause probably isn't helping either but I genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I feel so awful every day. I try my best to be healthy and live 'clean' but I'm feeling like crap every shitting day. It has genuinely taken all the zest and joy out of my life, my only joy these days is when I can lie in the dark, listen to a Calm sleep story and drift off to my preferred life which is dreamland. How sad.

Could this all be simply down to hormones, stress and the endometriosis? Can these things make you feel absolutely dreadful or am I missing something that could put an end to this misery?

Can anyone recommend anything I haven't tried or something to take to make me feel better? I'll try anything at this point (as long as it doesn't make my guts worse!).

OP posts:
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Normansglasseye · 24/06/2025 21:54

Should also add that I have very thin and thinning hair to the point that point that I've worn a hair topper for the last 10 years. Always put that down to the anaemia but it's not improving despite the anaemia improving.

OP posts:
Cheepcheepchirp · 24/06/2025 23:13

Oh gosh I’ve no idea but didn’t want to read and run.
could you see a private doctor and they review all your symptoms all together?
can you make a list of say 3 things to try to help with your mental health/lower the load? Eg walk each day/plant a new area in a garden/start a book series/carer in for mum

Normansglasseye · 24/06/2025 23:55

Cheepcheepchirp · 24/06/2025 23:13

Oh gosh I’ve no idea but didn’t want to read and run.
could you see a private doctor and they review all your symptoms all together?
can you make a list of say 3 things to try to help with your mental health/lower the load? Eg walk each day/plant a new area in a garden/start a book series/carer in for mum

Thank you. I have been considering seeing a private GP even though I can't afford it really but I'm worried they may have a one appointment, one issue policy like my NHS GP has and it'll end up costing me a small fortune!?

OP posts:
justasking111 · 25/06/2025 00:01

Have you considered HRT?

Have your ferritin levels been checked recently my friend needs an infusion every three months.

Anxiety see the GP bad nerves play havoc with the gut

Endometriosis I only know what I've read on here. Growths, polyps can cause pressure in the bladder, bowel I read.

A private GP or self referral to a gynae consultant would be a good idea.

justasking111 · 25/06/2025 00:03

Normansglasseye · 24/06/2025 23:55

Thank you. I have been considering seeing a private GP even though I can't afford it really but I'm worried they may have a one appointment, one issue policy like my NHS GP has and it'll end up costing me a small fortune!?

My GP took over the prescription after a consultant had put me on a drug.

Sunniehols · 25/06/2025 00:05

Gosh, you really are going through it. I’m in no way medically trained but from issues I’m having myself, I understand perimenopause can be hell for some women and the issues you are having can be caused by it. Maybe speak to your GP again about HRT or alternative doses. Or maybe even try perimenopause supplements.

my digestive system is in the bin, I’m exhausted but struggle to sleep past 5-6 hours, I have horrible back ache, I’m always tense, shoulders hunched up, I never feel right and I have awful health anxiety. Bloods tell me I’m not in peri but I beg to differ.

I hope you find a solution and start to feel better.

Trezo · 25/06/2025 00:23

The gut microbiome has trillions and trillions of bacteria you need to have more good bacteria for health. The gut microbiome helps your immune system and brain affecting how you feel your mood

There is a book written by a medical doctor entitled Why do people eat stuff that isn't food and why can't they stop.

Ultra Processed food is causing ill health obesity. Food label ingredients that have lots of additives and stuff you don't have in the kitchen is ultra processed. It's better to cook from scratch with fresh fruit vegetables the best ingredients. Also soft drinks have added sweetners not good.
Walking gardening being in the fresh air has helped me stay healthy and eating good food. Hope this is some help to you.

Normansglasseye · 25/06/2025 09:19

justasking111 · 25/06/2025 00:01

Have you considered HRT?

Have your ferritin levels been checked recently my friend needs an infusion every three months.

Anxiety see the GP bad nerves play havoc with the gut

Endometriosis I only know what I've read on here. Growths, polyps can cause pressure in the bladder, bowel I read.

A private GP or self referral to a gynae consultant would be a good idea.

I have tried several forms of HRT but they all made the endo pain worse so I have been advised not to go on it again until the gynae issues are sorted.

I have seen a private gynae but they charge almost £8k for the laparoscopy and I simply don't have that kind of money so will have to sit on the NHS waiting list unfortunately.

I think I do need to see a private GP, maybe she can recommend some other test to see why I feel so crappy?

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 25/06/2025 09:22

You need a full blood work up. I had alot of your symptoms and it was because absolutely everything was too low. Vit d, folate, calcium, iron. I'm on multiple supplements now and just starting to feel normal finally. Hope it's that simple for you too

Normansglasseye · 25/06/2025 09:22

Sunniehols · 25/06/2025 00:05

Gosh, you really are going through it. I’m in no way medically trained but from issues I’m having myself, I understand perimenopause can be hell for some women and the issues you are having can be caused by it. Maybe speak to your GP again about HRT or alternative doses. Or maybe even try perimenopause supplements.

my digestive system is in the bin, I’m exhausted but struggle to sleep past 5-6 hours, I have horrible back ache, I’m always tense, shoulders hunched up, I never feel right and I have awful health anxiety. Bloods tell me I’m not in peri but I beg to differ.

I hope you find a solution and start to feel better.

I am sorry you are struggling with issues too, it's no fun is it? How old are you? Most of my issues started around the age of 44, I had to change GP in the end because he literally laughed at me when I asked if it could be peri related, he told me because I was having a regular cycle and no hot flushes that I couldn't possibly be in perimenopause. Well, I am now 52, still have a cycle and no hot flushes, wonder if he would still insist that I am not in peri?

OP posts:
Normansglasseye · 25/06/2025 09:32

Trezo · 25/06/2025 00:23

The gut microbiome has trillions and trillions of bacteria you need to have more good bacteria for health. The gut microbiome helps your immune system and brain affecting how you feel your mood

There is a book written by a medical doctor entitled Why do people eat stuff that isn't food and why can't they stop.

Ultra Processed food is causing ill health obesity. Food label ingredients that have lots of additives and stuff you don't have in the kitchen is ultra processed. It's better to cook from scratch with fresh fruit vegetables the best ingredients. Also soft drinks have added sweetners not good.
Walking gardening being in the fresh air has helped me stay healthy and eating good food. Hope this is some help to you.

I live the life you describe but sadly I am still struggling. As great as it is and as much as I agree that many people these days are living unhealthy lifestyles with unhealthy habits I don't think it's as clear cut as that for everyone.

If you looked at me and then saw my list of health woes you wouldn't put the two together but not all is as it seems in life is it?

I cook most of our food from scratch, never eat out or have take-aways (apart from the very odd occasion when I will have fish and chips), my husband grows veg, I walk over fields and woodlands every day with my dog, I meditate everyday etc. I only drink filtered water, no alcohol, certainly no artificial sweeteners as they wreck my stomach. I am slim with a low bmi.

I am probably one of the healthiest living of all my friends yet I struggle with my health far more than any of my friends do but they don't have endometriosis or are caring for a parent who has been slowly dying from dementia over the last 7 years. Maybe the combination of those two things is slowly wrecking my life?

I am not sure what else I can do tbh?

OP posts:
Normansglasseye · 25/06/2025 09:33

Devilsmommy · 25/06/2025 09:22

You need a full blood work up. I had alot of your symptoms and it was because absolutely everything was too low. Vit d, folate, calcium, iron. I'm on multiple supplements now and just starting to feel normal finally. Hope it's that simple for you too

According to my last set of bloods the GP says they are all within normal ranges.
I may have to go and see a private GP to see if she can re-test me.

OP posts:
Normansglasseye · 25/06/2025 09:34

sueelleker · 25/06/2025 09:24

Have you been checked for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome? https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ehlers-danlos-syndromes/

I have considered that EDS may be an issue for me but my GP wouldn't even acknowledge that I am hypermobile, just said we are all a bit bendy (I honestly don't know anyone as flexible as I am though).

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 25/06/2025 09:36

Normansglasseye · 25/06/2025 09:33

According to my last set of bloods the GP says they are all within normal ranges.
I may have to go and see a private GP to see if she can re-test me.

Did you have your thyroid tested? I had an overactive thyroid with all the symptoms you describe. Especially palpitations and the complete fatigue. It must be such a nightmare to not know the cause. If you can afford a private GP, it's definitely worth it. Hope you get it sorted soon

stayathomegardener · 25/06/2025 09:38

I would put money on EDS, maybe start following some support accounts online for tips although I think for me it’s acceptance as much as anything else.

Also undiagnosed at 56.

Normansglasseye · 25/06/2025 09:38

Devilsmommy Thyroid levels all fell within the normal ranges. It is driving me insane tbh.
I have just made some enquiries on our local FB to find a reputable private GP in our area.

OP posts:
miffmufferedmoof · 25/06/2025 09:41

I would look for a functional medicine doctor if you can afford it. They will look at everything holistically

Normansglasseye · 25/06/2025 09:42

stayathomegardener · 25/06/2025 09:38

I would put money on EDS, maybe start following some support accounts online for tips although I think for me it’s acceptance as much as anything else.

Also undiagnosed at 56.

Thank you.

Can I ask are you still very bendy?

This is an example of how flexible I still am at 52. Obviously not a brag lol because it's no fun, I hurt a lot and try not to do this too often but just an example. Could this be a sign of EDS? I'm convinced the reason my mum was in pain most of her adult life is down to undiagnosed EDS, she has so many issues.

I feel so very below par all the time, where can I go for help?
OP posts:
Normansglasseye · 25/06/2025 09:43

Stayathomegardener forgot mn will need to approve photos now. It's just a quick pic of my thumb to wrist.

OP posts:
Normansglasseye · 25/06/2025 09:45

miffmufferedmoof · 25/06/2025 09:41

I would look for a functional medicine doctor if you can afford it. They will look at everything holistically

I'd love to see a functional practitioner. I'm so wary about wasting money though as they all charge so much. How do you know how reputable they are?

OP posts:
SkibidiSigma · 25/06/2025 09:57

Endo can absolutely cause gut symptoms, even if not on your bowel. If you've got adenomyosis and the pain is severe, you could consider a hysterectomy. Sounds miserable and I sympathise as I've got a lot of the same symptoms, but not as bad as you (and I'm overweight and no where near as healthy as you, but I'm working on it). GPs were useless, blamed everything on work stress and burnout, which I agree contributed but definitely not the cause. I ended up having to leave my job and still feel lousy.

My sister had a lot of success with acupuncture to help her hormonal symptoms, she has severe endo

miffmufferedmoof · 25/06/2025 10:03

Normansglasseye · 25/06/2025 09:45

I'd love to see a functional practitioner. I'm so wary about wasting money though as they all charge so much. How do you know how reputable they are?

I guess it’s hard to be sure. You can look at qualifications and reviews/recommendations. I’ve used Dr Indra, she was an NHS GP for years before going into functional medicine. I’ve been happy with her
drindra.co.uk/meet-the-team/

Normansglasseye · 25/06/2025 10:13

SkibidiSigma · 25/06/2025 09:57

Endo can absolutely cause gut symptoms, even if not on your bowel. If you've got adenomyosis and the pain is severe, you could consider a hysterectomy. Sounds miserable and I sympathise as I've got a lot of the same symptoms, but not as bad as you (and I'm overweight and no where near as healthy as you, but I'm working on it). GPs were useless, blamed everything on work stress and burnout, which I agree contributed but definitely not the cause. I ended up having to leave my job and still feel lousy.

My sister had a lot of success with acupuncture to help her hormonal symptoms, she has severe endo

I'm sorry you also struggle with similar issues, it is no fun is it? I left my work in November thinking it would help but if anything I feel worse!

I am hoping to have a hysterectomy eventually but apparently I need the laparoscopy first.

I am interested in acupuncture, it is something I would consider, just wish everything was less expensive, I have already thrown most of my savings into finding a 'cure' to my issues.

I wish you well, hope you too can find a way to feel better soon.

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Cheesybiscuitsmineallmine · 25/06/2025 10:14

Have they ruled out coeliac disease - some people have it but don't produce the ttg antibody.