Worried about DH

[Willowweb]

Hello, since I've been diagnosed with hyperparathyroidism, my husband is convinced he has it too and has spent days on Dr google. Last year he'd convinced himself that his symptoms fitted hypothyroidism but his test said not. Before that he convinced himself that a certain vaccination caused his symptoms. These are fatigue, back ache, nocturia and low mood.
My surgery for hyperparathyroidism is next Thursday and he's driving me nuts over this. I told him to get tested but he refuses. It might be relevant that he is as ASD/level 1 and ADHD. He's over 60. Normally he's a loving, caring man who thinks the world of me
Any thoughts please.

Health anxiety is very common at that age in men, my husbands stepdad is like this and also most likely ASD, doesn't like going to drs but will Google to an obsessive level and keep copious notes regarding ailments.

If he doesnt believe the test results but thinks he has those symtpoms then he needs to get to the bottom of it by going to gp and having full bloods or something done, either he's serious and worried or he's piggy backing your issue which is also quite common.

I told him to get tested but he refuses. I

why?

Is he retired?

Imisscoffee
That's really useful information. Thanks

Sleepy nose
Yes he is retired

With far too much time on his hands to stew about his health.

get him up, out and interested in hobbies and life other than this health (or lack thereof!)

Hi he has a 2 acre garden to look after and has loads of special interests one of which is health!

Well when he starts talking about his “health hobby”, you zone out or get cracking with your own hobbies!

It is unfair and selfish and drag your partner in to endless discussions about their supposed ill health but not actually go and get tested

Has he had prostate test. Most men over 50 have enlarged prostate and it’s a good idea to have a blood test and exam particularly if he is having to get up during the night.
His symptoms suggest prostate enlargement rather than thyroid problems.

His thyroid is fine and so was his last prostate test. Tbh he has a lot of anxiety/OCD which manifests in different ways..he's going 5 times a night sometimes. Thanks for responding

Do you also suffer from anxiety Op?

With upcoming surgery on the horizon , yes!

And instead of being supportive
he’s choosing to focus on himself

Update
I've shown him how to use chat gpt so he can get his answers without being nagged and I can get on with my painting. Perfect for a techy guy like him. He loves it.

Just wanted to say good luck with your op. I had the same op a few weeks ago.

Oh. How was it. I'm dreading it tbh

What was there to “show”?! And he’s a techie?!

Either way…hopefully this will allow him to be more supportive of you

It was good. I went down at 2pm. Back at home by 7pm. Really achy neck and shoulders for a couple of days after. Prob the position they put you in. Had 2 weeks off work. Neat scar although a stitch has now decided to poke through so will get that sorted at my follow up next week. Calcium and PTH dropped immediately after op.

Great stuff. Thank you.

I'm glad you found a solution to it but it's incredibly selfish of him to focus on himself at this point rather than you. Of course he doesn't want to go and see a doctor because he knows he will be told he hasn't got it! I really hope everything goes well in your operation and that ChatGPT keeps him busy and off your hands!

Hi OP just came across this thread as I am awaiting referral for surgery.
How are you doing now? x