FIL and comments

[Livingthedreamithink]

FIL is in his 80s. He has good genes (ie his parents lived to 90s). He does have prostate cancer but the kind Drs have told him he’ll die of something else first. He’s been really morose recently. He is giving up all he enjoys and went on a holiday doing something he usually loved but said that is the last time he’ll do that. Before the holiday he said he best do it now as he’ll be unable to in a few months time. Is he trying to tell us something or is he just depressed? I know getting old isn’t fun but he’s mobile, can walk quite far and does a lot of gardening. In addition his cognition is good for his age. Anyone else’s parents like this?

DGM died age 92. From around 84, despite being in robust health, she started saying ‘I’ve lived too long’. I think she was just tired of going on, all her friends had died and she was the last one her age. She’d had enough, despite enjoying family visits etc.

My Nan is similar at 94.
Mild ailments here and there but at 94 it's no surprise.

But I can't blame her. She's done what she wanted through her life. Wasn't glamorous or what others would class as adventurous but it was exactly what she wanted. She can no longer do or be who she wanted so she's waiting for her turn with the Grim reaper now.

My Nan is the same... now 88 but making sure all her effects will go somewhere, says she is tired and just wants to go now

Yeah my Nana was like this, she was a devout Christian and many times said ‘the Lord gives us three score years and ten’

Beyond that she constantly spoke about ‘living on borrowed time’ and planning her funeral. I think it’s a horribly negative mindset and when she did get ill, she just submitted to it and died, she didn’t even try to fight it.

Just came back from visiting my mum (91) and dad (92).
They are getting really frustrated as they can do less and less due to failing sight and hearing. Until that really hit ( last 18 months) they were very positive. Maybe though be can do the things he lives still, it's just so much harder it's frustrating. My dad couldn't thin out seedlings anymore, my mum can't see to paint. They still are pretty active, and look great to strangers, bit they hate their lives shrinking.

My aunt lived to her nineties. Towards the end she was saying all my siblings have gone , all my friends have gone , I’m ready to go now as well

DAunt is 96yo has dementia, and keeps talking about wanting to see her parents again. All her friends, siblings, husband died long ago and she never had DC of her own. She's had enough.

I remember both my ggm (who lived to 91) and my gm (who lived to 86) longing to go especially after so many family and friends had already died. My ggm was still pretty active, lived on her own but she just sort of gave up. Gm had cancer at the end but refused treatment. She was so used to being out and about but she went blind in the end and hated not being independent.
My dm and df are 82 and both hoping to live for another 20 active years.

My df had prostate cancer years ago. He's 65 now and in good health but he does have periods of thinking he's on the way out for no apparent reason. Starts getting his affairs in order etc he's always been pretty morbid but it's just how he is we don't really comment just let him get on with it and within a few months it passes again and the cycle continues it may be an aging gent thing 😉

I feel like this now and I’m only 41. I’m bored of life, it’s all work, sleep work and I’m exhausted.