Anyone got any advice?

[Tillytwoshoes2018]

Son no 2 ( aged 30y) has not been able to work for almost a year now following a hernia repair op. He has dreadful nerve pains in the groin area. It is thought the mesh used may be causing problems. The surgeon has suggested steroid injections in to the groin area but my son is needle phobic. He is not able to take strong painkillers as they mess with his head. He can not walk easily , nor sleep properly and is relying on UC of only £390 a month. ( He lives in his own home gifted by grandparents) and this does not even cover his Council Tax, electric , water and insurances. He attended a fit for work appt and has been told he has limited capability for work. He has tried to get work but can not lift or work in cold environments. My husband and I are now struggling to support him but he has been told he is not entitled to any other benefits. Prior to his op he worked full time from leaving school. Any ideas or advice would be welcomed.

Is your son able to go to the dentist and have treatment?

If so, the dental needles and injections are far worse than steroid shots. I have them in theatre as X-ray guided and others in my GP surgery and they are all fine.

If he is still resistant to the idea of injections , has he tried hypnotherapy for his injection phobia or been referred to a pain clinic?

I am afraid I would stop financially supporting him as he has to find his own way of either coping with the pain, retraining to a job he can do or coping with the side effects of drugs. I work and have worked for the last 30 years on a combination of strong painkillers and a messed up head with the medication and it's effects on me - I would not have worked if I had parental financial support or a gifted house.

Hopefully he will view his difficulties as something he needs to muddle through rather than rely financially on you - leaving you to provide emotional support.

The problem at the moment is the needle phobia. First thing is to deal with that. Did he not get vaccinated during Covid?

He is needle phobic. He can not have any dental treatment unless under GA. He has an appt for a second opinion but will not even be put forward for the chronic pain clinic until then. He has been told it will be at least a yr for an appt there.

What are your son's plans to resolve his problems?

Then as an adult, he need to work on his phobia which is currently preventing him from living his life. He has options. Especially when a GA also involves needles.

I'm dentist phobic but had to work on it to avoid pain. It's just what you do.

He can also take the painkillers if he's not working. He needs to look for work he can manage - not all jobs are in the cold or require lifting. Office based work, driving jobs, cleaning, care work - plenty of industries have options for him.

Has he tried Amitriptyline, Lyrica (pregabalin) or Gabapentin? Low doses & titrate up.

He has tried all of those meds. His mental health now is awful. He is applying for jobs but because he has not worked for a year he doesn't get far! He wants to work. He has been let down by the surgeon - the pain is unbearable and he gets no help from GP or hospital.

I appreciate the surgery failed for him, but I'm not sure what you want the hospital or GP to do if he's refusing the meds because it affects his head and is refusing other options because of needles.

He needs to get on top of the phobia and the only way that will happen is specifically working on it.

He's been assessed as able to work, the job centre will help him to get into a role. What is he applying for? Is he aiming for the right stuff? Has his CV been updated and checked by someone who knows what they are doing? Are his applications actually any good?

Nerve pain is hard to treat or relieve. I understand there have been law suits over hernia mesh operations causing issues. Could he maybe try alternative medications like LDN or medical cannabis? Acupuncture or supplements like R Alpha lipoic acid for nerve repair?

He is actually now on Curaleaf oil which is helping a little bit is costly. He is willing to try anything job wise.

How did he manage hernia repair without needles? I think some kind of phobia therapy would be a good use of some time while waiting appointment. If he was desperate to get back to work, he would find a way!

Well I'm glad he's getting some pain relief. If he's on uc they do slightly reduced rates for medical cannabis. He should try for pip & go for a mandatory reconsideration if denied it. He's in chronic pain after all. Maybe some kind of therapy for his needle phobia?

As for work, perhaps he could look into working from home.

Why can't the mesh be removed and the surgeon help?

Then he asks for a second opinion, the mesh may be sitting on a nerve, it could be removed, he could be referred to a neurologist for nerve damage, if no luck then a formal complaint to the hospital ceo.