Life changed overnight - liver disease, cancer fears, SEND chaos and I’ve run out of spoons

[NappingThroughTheChaos]

Hi everyone,

Bit of a rough one. We had some not-so-great news recently – my other half went in for an ultrasound (for unrelated stomach nonsense), and we got that kind of call from the doctors. You know the ones that come late at night and make your stomach drop.

Turns out he has liver disease – not alcohol-related – and it’s already progressed to cirrhosis. As a bonus, they also found a mass on his liver that they’re concerned might be cancerous.

He’s now waiting on a liver biopsy and still needs the endoscopy for the original mystery stomach saga. Meanwhile, I’m stuck in that weird limbo between “must stay calm” and “would it be inappropriate to scream into a tea towel?”

To say I’m reeling is an understatement. We’ve got two children with SEND, both struggling massively with their mental health. Life was already intense, and this has just added another level of uncertainty and fear.

I’m trying to hold it together for everyone, but I’m exhausted. I swing between numbness, anxiety, and sheer panic about what comes next – for him, for the kids, for all of us.

If anyone’s been through something similar – with liver stuff, the NHS journey from here, juggling kids and serious illness, or just general “how not to collapse in a heap” advice – I’d be hugely grateful.

Also open to dark humour, practical tips, or instructions for building a small fort under the stairs.

Thanks for reading

What an unpleasant shock, having facts and knowing how things may progress, will prob help you.
Never been in your situation , tho hoping you get strength, from the small stuff, a hug from a loving pet of yours or someone else’s,or whatever you need

I think the not knowing the full information is the most difficult part. Hopefully you will get some answers soon.

No witticisms to make you laugh Op, but just a message to say that I am sorry you are going through this. The not knowing and therefore not havin* a plan is very very hard.

By all means scream into a tea towel, I find that does help. Probably while the dog is out, as he will know and come running.

Hi. My situation is a bit the same . Sorry you are going through this. My husband has cirrhosis and is an alcoholic. I decided last night that I need to leave him. We have a 19yr old with asd and ld and I'm just about out of spoons too.
Do you have anyone you can talk to? I hope you get results soon. Waiting is the pits

@NappingThroughTheChaos
I forgot to mention that my issues weren't alcohol related.
I have an inherited predisposition to non-alcoholuc fatty liver disease.
I had private health care and it did speed things up but in your husband's case it may be different with finding the mass too.
I am so sorry you're going through this.

We had six months of "we're as sure as we can be without a biopsy that it's cancer" before DH got his diagnosis and that was the hardest bit of his journey I think. The British Liver Trust were really helpful, I used their services several times while we were waiting.

I hope you get your answers soon