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Original poster

What now? Processing a medical emergency/trauma?

24 replies

Mylegishangingoff · 03/05/2025 14:26

This time 3 days ago I was in resus after a sudden medical emergency, I was in incredible pain and I had to have emergency surgery. I was bleeding internally and lost 2liters of blood. Now it's 3 days later and I'm laying in bed wondering what the hell just happened?

It all happened so quickly, I'm so greatful that the Drs worked so fast to save me and that I'm well enough to go from quite literally deaths door to home in 3 days but I feel like my brain hasn't caught up with what happened to me yet? I keep getting flashbacks of the Drs yelling at each other, how frantic it all was and it's really scary but I'm safe now and well(as well as I can be) so I don't really understand why it feels that way?

I don't know what I'm asking really. I just don't want to freak my family out by talking it through with them, I know it was scary for them too, especially dh who brought me to A&E and carried me in when I collapsed. I just feel so shaken up and I suppose I am looking for reassurances that it's normal to feel like this and that it will go away soon? Part of me feels like Im being really dramatic and I just need to cop on and be grateful but the other part is like fucking hell I nearly died and now Im just in my bed?! Does anyone relate to this, does it just start to feel better with time?

OP posts:

TheSpottedZebra · 03/05/2025 14:42

Im no expert, but that sounds really awful, and yet, to be expected. Of COURSE that would have to take a toll on you. My half sibling spent some considerable time in itu, and some ongoing counselling was arranged for them - I wonder if there is a version of that that you could access? Maybe a call to your GP, or someone here will know where to turn?

I thonkmyou can be both grateful formyour treatment, and at the same time, traumatised by the whole thing. One does not cancel out the other.

Poor you. I hope your physical and mental/emotional recovery is swift.

helpfulperson · 03/05/2025 14:45

Can you go to your GP to talk through what happened? I know you can get a debrief with a midwife after a traumatic birth so I presume the same thing is available for other traumas. It might help a lot to actually understand what all the shouting and rushing around was about and to talk it through with a medical professional.

I think it is natural to feel very shaken up - it sounds like an awful experience.

GildedRage · 03/05/2025 14:49

What caused the internal bleeding?

Destiny123 · 03/05/2025 14:53

Anaesthetist, sorry to hear you're struggling it's really frightening to be in such a situation as a patient. Ask if one of the drs can chat you through it to explain. If you went to icu then they'll have a dedicated clinical psychologist that can see you and follow you up. Feel free to message x

Original poster

Mylegishangingoff · 03/05/2025 14:59

GildedRage · 03/05/2025 14:49

What caused the internal bleeding?

A ruptured ectopic pregnancy. I didn't know I was pregnant until they told me afterwards what had happened, I had felt fine, everything was fine(or so I thought) then I had some pain on Thursday morning and it kept getting worse. I called my dh and he came and brought me to A&E by the time we got to A&E and I stepped out of the car everything just went black, dh scooped me up and carried me in. After that I just really remember bits, being in a lot of pain, lots of Drs yelling, being wheeled down to surgery.

It all just happened really quickly and I haven't even begun to think about how I feel about the fact that I was pregnant. It wasn't planned and I was on the progesterone only pill and wasn't getting periods. I don't know how I feel about any of it.

OP posts:

GildedRage · 03/05/2025 15:05

I can see how it leads to big thoughts and feelings. I’d want to talk it through with someone but I’m not sure who.

FeelingSoOverwhelmed · 03/05/2025 18:02

I think it's totally normal (for want of a better word) to feel a lot of complex emotions about this! A lot has happened and it's a lot to take in physically and emotionally. It's only been a few days. You don't need to "cop on" and feel fine straight away. I think talking to your husband/friends/family if you feel able to will help you articulate your feelings .
Do you have any follow up appointments? I think even a GP appointment if you are still feeling scared and wobbly in a couple of weeks might help. But it's still early days and it's ok to feel grateful for quick medical care whilst still feeling overwhelmed and frightened.

helpfulperson · 03/05/2025 18:03

Given the cause it may be that the midwifery service can help but definetely your GP is a good first port of call.

ZeppelinTits · 03/05/2025 18:07

Talking about it a LOT will actually help you process it and get it out of you. Talking things out helps us to make sense of them and eventually file them away in the past where they belong. It’s early days but I’d ask the hospital or your GP if they could arrange some counselling for you to help process what was really a traumatic event. And how you are feeling now is totally normal and to be expected. Don’t carry it in silence though!

tripleginandtonic · 03/05/2025 18:11

Do you know why it happened? What the likelihood is of it happening again?

stichguru · 03/05/2025 18:11

Huge hugs - no wonder you are feeling traumatised. I agree that your local midwifery team should be able to put you in touch with support or counselling if you need it.

nocoolnamesleft · 03/05/2025 18:13

Talking about it helps. And bizarrely playing Tetris can help stop you going on to get PTSD. It’s scary to be a patient in resus. And it’s perfectly normal for your brain to still need to do some processing even as your body heals.

Greybeardy · 03/05/2025 18:33

another anaesthetist here... completely normal to feel a bit disorientated by it all. Best bet if you want to talk through the actual events and decision making etc would be to ask to chat to either the gynaecologist/anaesthetist that were there. As per PP's suggestion, if you did need support in ICU/HDU they may have access to psychological support if you feel that'll be helpful. I think early pregnancy units are less likely to have access to counselling etc than labour wards but it may be worth asking... or GP will likely be able to help with that. You're only 3 days after a massive physiological insult - it will take some time to feel physically recovered and it will play havoc with your stress hormones and how you feel about things - I'd probably expect to feel a bit unnerved for a while longer but hopefully talking it though and understanding events when you fell ready will help. Have had a run of on calls recently with pretty hairy collapsed, ruptured ectopics and often wonder what the women remember about it all because we do often get fairly animated trying to get it all together and get things fixed quickly! Also, may be worth suggesting your partner looks for some support too (men will never think of it themselves!) because it can be pretty traumatic for them too and particularly can create problems for them if you decide to try for another pregnancy. HTH.

Original poster

Mylegishangingoff · 03/05/2025 18:34

Thanks so much for the replies. I've had a nap and a spoke to dh a bit and had big old cry and I feel somewhat better.

I think it is just the suddeness of it all, it went from oh my stomach hurts a bit to being in resus having loads of people frantic around me in the space of about an hour and a half on what was just a normal day. It was all so fast and then I spent yesterday in ICU sleeping most of the day and now today I'm home and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing with myself?! It all feels a bit like a bizarre fever dream. I'll definitely get in touch with either my GP or the hospital if I don't start feeling better. I think like someone said maybe my brain just needs to catch up with what happened.

OP posts:

tyreright · 03/05/2025 18:37

Why were the doctors shouting?

Original poster

Mylegishangingoff · 03/05/2025 18:45

tyreright · 03/05/2025 18:37

Why were the doctors shouting?

I can't say really, maybe it wasn't shouting so much as loud ordering people around. Believe it or not after losing 2 litres of blood inside me and being in immense pain everything is kind of a confusing blur. I know because I didn't know I was pregnant there was a lot of franticness in the beginning because it was obvious that something was really wrong but they didn't know what it was.

OP posts:

Destiny123 · 03/05/2025 18:47

tyreright · 03/05/2025 18:37

Why were the doctors shouting?

They probably weren't properly shouting more raised voices to be heard as every resus I've ever worked in is crazy noisey

Destiny123 · 03/05/2025 18:48

Mylegishangingoff · 03/05/2025 18:34

Thanks so much for the replies. I've had a nap and a spoke to dh a bit and had big old cry and I feel somewhat better.

Give it a week or so then get in touch with the icu, they'll clinical psych will be able to meet work you and help xx

Destiny123 · 03/05/2025 18:49

Mylegishangingoff · 03/05/2025 18:45

Show quote history

It's relatively common, but thankfully rarely that extreme. I was taught even back in med school 15y ago, collapse with abdo pain in a woman is ectopic until proven otherwise

Original poster

Mylegishangingoff · 03/05/2025 19:07

Destiny123 · 03/05/2025 18:49

It's relatively common, but thankfully rarely that extreme. I was taught even back in med school 15y ago, collapse with abdo pain in a woman is ectopic until proven otherwise

Show quote history

Thanks. I think because I was diagnosed with anaemia in Dec and had been referred for tests to try and find a cause that confused matters. They kept asking about my anaemia and if I usually looked so 'anaemic', I remember dh snapping at them and saying of course I don't usually look grey and pointing out that my lips were blue, which scared the shit out of me(and probably him too).

OP posts:

Rummikub · 03/05/2025 19:14

Hi @Mylegishangingoff

I totally get how you feel.
i ended up in a&e and was pushed straight into resus.
I feel lucky im still here but there’s a lot of blanks and i don’t really know what happened to me.

What helped me a little was to write it all out as a timeline.

Becausei was then in icu I had follow up and they said they’d explain what happened to me there. But I was ok there. Just the a&e part are blanks. I keep thinking ill
contact the hospital to ask but I don’t want to waste their time.

Anyway op no you’re not alone xx

BeakyFlinders · 03/05/2025 19:26

Completely normal PTSD. I’ve had similar. Look into EMDR. It’s probably a bit early but it’s very effective for this kind of thing. I’ve done it and it’s amazing.

BeakyFlinders · 03/05/2025 19:26

Completely normal PTSD. I’ve had similar. Look into EMDR. It’s probably a bit early but it’s very effective for this kind of thing. I’ve done it and it’s amazing.

realsavagelike · 03/05/2025 22:45

Sending hugs. I had an ectopic pregnancy on the progesterone only pill as well. Found at 8 weeks after tube started 'leaking' although hadn't yet ruptured, and I did know I was pregnant. Had emergency removal of fallopian tube and remember being terrified on my first night back home that something would happen to me without the 'safety net' of hospital. PM me if you would like to talk x

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