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Hsv2. New partner. Feeling so stressed and worried

4 replies

Leabee1234 · 02/05/2025 18:48

Hi so I unfortunately have hsv2 have had it for 4 years and got it off my ex (unknowingly as he never told me) and I still have outbreaks every few months. I am taking acyclovir everyday as a suppression therapy as suggested as I am in a new relationship and have been for 2 momths so started taking it at the start. He is aware of my diagnosis. However we had sex on Tuesday and straight after I felt an itch and tingle went to the toilet and saw a small sore. I was mortified as I haven't had one for 3 months and I have been taking my tablets daily I had no idea. The location was the very top of my vagina. However I am now panicking and going out my mind thinking I could have transmitted this to his when I've been on suppression therapy for months and had no idea I was even going to have an outbreak I had no prodrome symptoms. I wanted to protect anyone else from getting it. I've honestly felt so so down about my diagnosis for years and I struggle with my mental health because of it. I have a toddler also from a previous relationship so life is very busy and stressful. But I had it managed and now I keep crying thinking I am going to have passed it him he is aware and is being off with me but I had no idea I was habing an outbreak and feel this may ruin the relationship. I can't stand the stigma around herpes and it has made me want ti stay single forever. You're made ti look dirty if you have it. It's so shameful and upsetting.

OP posts:
141mum · 02/05/2025 18:52

Leabee1234 · 02/05/2025 18:48

Hi so I unfortunately have hsv2 have had it for 4 years and got it off my ex (unknowingly as he never told me) and I still have outbreaks every few months. I am taking acyclovir everyday as a suppression therapy as suggested as I am in a new relationship and have been for 2 momths so started taking it at the start. He is aware of my diagnosis. However we had sex on Tuesday and straight after I felt an itch and tingle went to the toilet and saw a small sore. I was mortified as I haven't had one for 3 months and I have been taking my tablets daily I had no idea. The location was the very top of my vagina. However I am now panicking and going out my mind thinking I could have transmitted this to his when I've been on suppression therapy for months and had no idea I was even going to have an outbreak I had no prodrome symptoms. I wanted to protect anyone else from getting it. I've honestly felt so so down about my diagnosis for years and I struggle with my mental health because of it. I have a toddler also from a previous relationship so life is very busy and stressful. But I had it managed and now I keep crying thinking I am going to have passed it him he is aware and is being off with me but I had no idea I was habing an outbreak and feel this may ruin the relationship. I can't stand the stigma around herpes and it has made me want ti stay single forever. You're made ti look dirty if you have it. It's so shameful and upsetting.

It’s not shameful , although it’s hard for you. Don’t blame yourself, it is so so common

heroinechic · 02/05/2025 19:03

You haven’t done anything wrong! You were honest with your partner (so they accepted any risk) and you have been taking your medication. You have alerted them as soon as you noticed any symptoms. Shame is such an awful emotion to have to deal with. Please don’t blame yourself!

Springadorable · 02/05/2025 19:41

You did everything possible to enable him to consent and make decisions. You told him about your diagnosis, you've taken your meds, you've told him that you're having an outbreak. Those are all great qualities in a partner. He accepted the risk when you told him initially. He may end things, but he may anyway - it's a new relationship. If he does, and it's over this, it's on him not you.

Leabee1234 · 02/05/2025 20:54

Thank you all. I just hope it hasn't transmitted even though I did everything right. I just hate having it and wish the stigma would be broken it's unfair! Especially when I never sleep around and was from an ex. Thanks for your comments x

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