How to stop ruminating?

[Middlechild3]

I've been badly treated by my employer this last week. I'm taking steps to seek redress but I'm so unbelievably angry about it all I can't adopt the mindset that I'm taking action and what will be will be. I've done physical activity etc but it's not helping. How do you stop ruminating and stop the anger occupying every minute?

I would do a bit of writing / journalling. Fill a few pages with all your thoughts. Don't think about it too much! Write fast, fill 2-4 pages of A4 (or as much as you can bear). Cry if it helps while you're writing it. Then throw it away! Always helps me process things and move on.

Thankyou

I would go for a run.

Or a long walk if you don’t like running.

Do you like listening to music? Headphones, your favourite tunes and a walk are good to get you out of a funk

Another option (or combined with the above) would be to ‘sit’ with your anger. Give yourself 20 minutes or more. Time it.

We spend a lot of time with our emotions trying to squash them down, feeling like we shouldn’t be feeling that way, which in turn just cranks it up even more.

Agree with yourself that you ‘do’ 20 minutes of ‘angry’ and then that’s it done for the day. Tomorrow is another day and another day to allow your anger for 20 minutes.

I’ve found this useful in the past. Mainly for grief, but it works for other strong feelings too.

(or maybe take up kick-boxing 🤣)

Sometimes it's best not to fight the feelings/thoughts and just let them flow over you. If you fight and push thoughts away it can make them stronger.

Sometimes it can help to ask yourself "Is this though helpful? Is it helping me to create the feeling I want for myself today?"

It sounds like some degree of anger is going to be helpful for you, because it is enabling you to take action in seeking redress. But too much and it becomes unhelpful. At that point you need to redirect your thinking. Rather than focusing on not being angry, focus on what you want to feel instead.

I agree. It's a way of handling stuff you can't do much about or help you come to a decision on how to handle things.

A trick that works well for me is to say to myself 'thank-you, I am worried about that but this is my home time and I'll think about that again at work.' You have to do it every single time you start ruminating.

Acknowledging the thought works a lot better than telling yourself 'stop thinking about x' which inevitably just leads to thinking about x even more.