Hello, sorry I am writing this in such a state. I would appreciate messages on the kinder side although I know on mumsnet this isn't always possible.
I have been abusing laxatives for around 9 months now. Despite what you may think this is honestly not related to weight loss. I had never touched laxatives before this time, and I only got them as I was slightly constipated once. They worked very well, and I felt so much better afterwards. A 'light and empty' feeling. After that I kind of got obsessed with taking the laxatives, I get stressed out if I think there is poop in my stomach and I want it out immediately. So I kept on taking laxatives every day even when I did not need them, as I hated that the thought of knowing I had waste festering within me.
I am mid 50s and both children have left home years ago. I thought this was hidden but DH has pulled me aside this morning and confronted me. He knows exactly what is happening...I don't know how but he does. He had told me I need to book a GP appointment, but I am terrified about this.
For a bit of background, I have always had traits that could be seen as a symptom of OCD. No diagnosis, I've never even spoken to a medical professional about it. These presented when I was younger then seemed to go away for a while. It seems lately they are back stronger than ever, and I think this laxative issue and feeling the need to 'get the waste' out may be a symptom. DH wants me to bring up possible OCD at the GP. I honestly do not think I can. I am writing this through tears if I am honest, I can't see the woods through the trees.