ds had circ yesterday-OMG

[bignose]

My poor little ds.
He has been so brave.It looks awful and is hurting him when he moves.He is restricted to the bed.
He hasnt weed yet since the op at 2.30 yesterday.He flatty refused to get in the bath today.We carried him there and attempted to sit him down but he was beside himself.
Can anyine advice on this?
Does anyone know anyone or anything??

how old is your dh?

Don't feel bad, BigNose.
Did the hospital give you much in the way of advice re aftercare - could you call the ward and ask re pain relief for DS?
Poor little chap - it must be very scary for him.

Let him go nudey or nudey top half round the house if he wants aswell - I didn't wear knickers for about a week I don't think after episiotomy. And I cried like a baby on the loo

Don't feel bad

But I agree that he should be fussed over and pampered for a while. I wouldn't force him to bath or sit on loo etc. Just let him do it how he can.

Bloody hell, did I read that right, you think he is being a WIMP when he has just had part of his willy cut off??????

I can't believe that poor little boy is getting no sympathy from his mother.

This is awful, sorry I'm not more helpful but I am utterly shocked that you are calling him a wimp.

I need to go and calm down.

Alternate the pain relief as suggested. That gel sounds good. He's been through a lot. A GA can leave them feeling out of sorts for a couple of weeks and they just need cuddles and reassurance - humour him. Will second how lovely lavender oil is in the bath - you only need 3-4 drops. A new bath toy perhaps e.g. tesco sell wind up bath toys.

Ds might also need the same op so your little man has my every sympathy.

Ok, sorry, that wasn't helpful, you are asking for advice, I don't want to make you feel bad too

Don't be hard on him. Children don't demand cuddles or reassurance for the sake of it, or to wind us up, they ask because they need it and this child is terrified and in pain.

Be really soft with him, that will help repair the loss of trust, I know you did it for a good reason but he won't understand that and will feel frightened and so on.

Please, please just let your heart rule a bit. I know people say you can spoil children but this isn't really true, not with love and cuddling them - only with expensive toys!
They can never have too much love.

Please stop forcing him into the water. There's no need. Ask the Drs for advice about how to keep it clean etc. but please, listen to your little lad for a while at least and treat him very gently x

Sorry I was so harsh earlier, just rather shocked - I should have been gentler.

Bignose I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you off, I can see you were just wondering what approach to take, we all get it wrong sometimes, especially me
I know you want what's best for him, some men were called wimps when they were little so havea hard time showing sympathy for their little boys in turn, maybe that's why your dh isn't more soft on him.
You be the one to stand up for ds and be really gentle with him, he needs a nice soft mummy right now, and he isn't a wimp, and hopefully when he is big and has kids of his own he will be really soft with them too
If a 4 year old can't be a baby, when can anyone?! Indulge - I think you know the answer just trust yourself.

I HAVENT CALLED HIM A WIMP OR EVEN TREATED HIM LIKE A WIMP AT ALL. I JUST POSTED ON HERE HOW I WAS FEELING!!
IF ANYTHING IM BEN VERY SOFT AND WAS WORRYING THAT I SHOULDNT BE.
I HAVENT SAID ANYTHING TO HIM TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE A WIMP.

bignose, I totally understand what you are going through. 2 of my boys have needed ops on their penises (not circumcision but I reckon the after effects are the same!)

I remember the screaming and refusing to wee or shower or move soooooo well. It is all very well others here criticising you for being firm with your ds, but they are not in the frustrating and deeply worrying situation that you are in. I know I got pretty cross with my eldest son too. In fact I once left him in hospital overnight (he was only in as a day patient to have a little adjustment to his first op) because he point blank refused to wee and they would not let him home until he had weed. I suppose some here would find that cruel of me, but there was nothing I could do and I thought he might respond better to the nurses than to me. Plus I had other children to consider.

It is very hard not to show your frustration, I know. I also share your annoyance that the anaesthetic gel is not handed out more liberally. I had to beg for that once and was finally given it by a doctor who had nothing to do with my son's case and just took pity on me. Could you try contacting the hospital and explain what has been happening and ask for their advice? IME, they are quite good at suggestions when they know how desperate you are.

Weeing in the bath is much easier than weeing in the loo but if your boy wont get in a bath, you are onto a loser before you have started. The only helpful thing I can say is that the pain does seem to lessen quite quickly and the penis heals quickly too.

Oh thanku dumbledoresgirl
Im so pleased you understand.You've just said exactly how it is.
He's just woke up crying and was shaking and distraught.I think he wanted a wee so carried him to the loo and he couldnt speak thru crying so much.He then weed on the floor and it really did come bursting out.
I also think I should add he has ear ache too which I called the doc out to (to my utter surprise a doc agreed to come out,after the receptionist was SO rude saying docs dont come out to children for just an ear ache!!!!!!!!!!)check them out.

Poor little boy bignose It sounds awful for all of you.

Does it hurt him when he wees? You can try calpol although I never found it made much difference. It might give your son a pyschological benefit though... With my boys, I found that ds1 was the hardest to begin with because he was terrified of the pain, (he was the one who got the gel in the end and was left overnight in hospital to wee) but he got over the op quite quickly.

Ds3 was less scared of the pain but still complained of pain when weeing up to 2 weeks after the op (don't want to depress you here!) He was also much less inclined to do anything and spent several days on the sofa and had to be carried everywhere, whereas ds1 was out in the park within days.

So they are all different. If your son has ear ache too, he must be feeling really miserable. Hopefully by Monday you will see a real difference. Good luck with it until then.

I can't add anything at all but wanted you to know that I really feel for you. The last 3 days of being stuck at home with my 4 yr old with a sore throat has been bad. You have got the extra worry of not being able to understand how it feels or what is 'normal'.

I don't think you've been harsh you sound like you are letting out some of your stress on here. The majority of what is typed on here is never spoken in RL.

Keep going - it can't be this bad for much longer.

I'm sorry if you feel that people are not being understanding - I think it was you saying that you refused to let him poo on a potty and that he couldn't have his toys downstairs til he had tried to wear shorts and asking whether crying and being demanding is acceptable in a 4 year old who has just had a minor but traumatic surgery may have given people the wrong idea about how you are being with your boy. I'm very sorry if I misunderstood you. Just to reinforce your instincts - I don't think you can be too sort with him under the circumstances. Hope he feels better soon.

i did say that I just wanted him to try the shorts and see how they felt.I did get a little frustrated but he certainly doesnt know what I was really feeling.
It was gentle encouragement and I took the toys as he wasnt listening to me at all.The ready bed cover was being cleaned so he was on the sofa and he asked for it whilst I was trying to encourage the shorts so its not like I took them away angrily I just said when you have at least tried the shorts to see how they feel then you have those things.

He's been having calpol and nurofen.I called the hosp but they didnt have alot of advice.They were nice but just not that helpful.

It probably isn't all that helpful to say it, but it really will get better soon. I know that doesn't help for now. I can't help but feel that in days gone past, children (and indeed adults) were kept in hospital for longer after ops than they are now and, in some ways, that was easier for all concerned. I have been stunned at the level of nursing care and skills I have had to quickly learn after my children were in hospital.

I really hope he has a better day tomorrow.

Thanku.x