12 year old son is overweight

[Siandlae]

My 12 year old son is overweight. He has lots of friends and is generally a happy kid but he has said that he hates being fat and wants to lose weight. He has tried every sport under the the sun but isn’t naturally sporty so can’t keep up so gives up. We have also paid for gym memberships for him at his request but he hates every minute while he is there so has quit that also. He would hang out with his friends but they don’t seem to do a lot either so he spends most of his time on his console talking to them on video call. He loves musical theatre and attends a group but this doesn’t provide any exercise so doesn’t help. We walk whenever we can as a family but that is all he gets. I try to track what he eats covertly and only buy low calorie snacks and provide nutritious meals etc so I don’t think he is eating excessively for his age, he just doesn’t move enough. He is aware that he needs to do more exercise but we can’t seem to find anything that interests him or that he will stick to. My husband (his dad) and I are both active and go to the gym regularly and walk etc so I like to think we ar setting a good example. My other issue is that his 10 year old sister is the complete opposite, dancing 5 days a week and always active so we struggle when she is asking for snacks as she needs more as she is so active. What can we do to get him moving more. As I said, we have tried all sports etc so at a loss. Thanks in advance.

If he enjoys musical theatre, would he go to dance lessons? You can find musical theatre dance classes, but jazz and tap also really help with MT. Or rock climbing, if you have a local wall near you? Could you and him go swimming once or twice a week? I've also seen teens have walking pads where they use their console, like how people have them under their desks for work, so whilst he is talking to his friends he could walk and talk.

Thank you for your response. He enjoys more the singing and acting side rather than dancing unfortunately. We do go swimming when we can and he does enjoy it but only when it’s the wave pool etc rather than swimming in lanes. They only do the wave pool at the weekends unfortunately and it hasn’t made a difference. The walking pad is a good idea, I’ll look into it. Thanks again

No worries. I also don't know if you've got a trampoline park anywhere near you, but a lot of them do fitness sessions, or even weekly passes. One jump session a week for an hour or two is knackering and is great exercise.

Outdoor gaming (Pokémon, Ingress, Geocaching) might be worth a try.
I think the answer to losing weight will mainly be diet though - or at least maintaining his weight whilst he grows. Does he buy food at school - can you see what he chooses? Does he buy snacks at the shops?

Although it is good for you to concentrate on helping find exercise he likes, being overweight is 90 percent about what you eat. You need to exercise a lot at an intense pace just to burn a few hundred calories. Much better to concentrate on healthy eating combined with some exercise. Help him as a family by only having healthy meals and snacks in the house. Concentrate on helping him to not put on any extra weight, so that he can grow into the weight a bit rather than strict diet.

If he’s 12 he may also be about to have a massive growth spurt and you might find that the problem goes away. My eldest had a bit of a tummy at 12 but by 13 was over 6ft and so skinny - which he still is eight years later.

Agree with WingingitMam, it's all about calories in and out. Yes, increasing activity is always a good thing, but he needs to bring his eating in line with what energy he expends.

Have a look at serving sizes for your meals, he may be just eating too much at each meal.

weight loss is mainly diet, increase his fiber, fruit, veggies and protein. switch rice for quinoa avoid the white bread/pasta and sugar carbs. make sure he has a water bottle (sometimes thirst and hunger signals get mixed up).
have cut up veggies prepped and in a container for easy nibbling.
although he's most likely due for a growth spurt and best to maintain the current weight while he grows. I'd equally avoid making too much fuss about this to prevent a disordered relationship with food or his body.

Agree it’s always more about food than exercise.
but the thing with exercise is, it’s hard when you’re fat. At 12 you can still force him to do stuff so sign him up for swimming- also couch 2 5k is good for increasing cardio stamina gently which makes a huge difference to how you feel when joining exercises groups, especially if overweight