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Spincter injury, fistula - support eachother?

958 replies

Cyee · 13/05/2008 20:22

Hi everyone,

Wonderful weather we're having

I am propped up in bed post-hospital and I was wondering if anyone out there knows of, or would enjoy/benefit from, a thread or support site for people who have experienced the above (sphincter damage, fistula etc.) as a result of childbirth.

In my own experience, this whole area is a bit taboo. In fact the consultants reckon there are many women who have some symptoms related to the above, who never seek treatment. The thought of women embarrassed to discuss these matters is awful, yet that seems to be the case.

So - this (while souped up on painkillers) is a call to arms:

  • Is there a site out there for women like us?
  • If not, would you like there to be?
  • Would a thread on MN especially for this, be useful?
  • Would it be useful to share experiences with consultants/physios/hospitals/procedures?

If these matters resonate with you or anyone you know, it would be great if you could point them in this direction. I'm going to post in the 'health' and 'childbirth' sections too.

I know too well the taboo around this. I posted on MN when I got my diagnosis and used a different name...

Hope to hear from some people soon.

Cyee
(successfully repaired as of last Wednesday (fingers/legs crossed))

OP posts:
Cyee · 14/02/2009 23:01

Hey ladies,
Glad you're all doing well.
Sawyer64 I had Tramadol after my op but only ended up taking one or 2. I relied mainly on taking paracetamol and ibruprofen together as they act in different ways. It's actually amazing to think how much surgery they did and how few drugs I took/was given.
Sawyer64, I also had pretty much no aftercare. In retrospect I don't think this was an oversight. I think the wound is under the care of a GP and I had one follow up with the consultant about 3/4 months after the op, which didn't involve and exam and was pretty cursory. Take it easy you both. It's easy to feel better than you actually are and overexert yourself. It's a very female trait, so be good and enjoy being looked after

OP posts:
Sawyer64 · 15/02/2009 10:17

Sounds like a good system Jacksmama, glad you are being well looked after.

I braved the bath yesterday,and did an extensive clean first.I must say, things "down there" feel much easier today.So i think I will be repeating the lovely experience today.

I remember my MW/HV suggested about Lavender Oil,which I used after DS,alternating between that and salt.

I'm feeling good today,bored and helpless,but good.I can relate to the problems with not lifting a Toddler,must be harder with a 1 yr old though,my DD2 is 2 so wanders round saying "Mummy's Tummy hurts" when I explain I can't lift her,and she can climb up next to me on the settee,so that helps.

LOL at your DH/Mums "Hairy eye"!! My DH says its like having to look after 3 DD's!! As I'm prone to have a wander and wash a couple of cups up,or fold some clothes from the TumbleDryer!!!

Hi Cyee,I think the Ibuprofen or Voltarol in my case is working wonders. I was saying just that to my mum re: GP aftercare. I guess because you aren't supposed to return to work etc. you need to see GP for Sick Certificates etc.

I am planning on returning to work after Half Term as I only do 3 mornings and its all sit down work. I would love to be able to take 6 weeks off,but its just not possible.So I will be extremely careful,and where you ladies will be getting back to light "duties" I will be doing the same but in a work setting half of my day.

Hope you all had a good Valentines day.

JacksmamasBabyIsOneYearOld · 18/02/2009 01:49

How are you feeling Sawyer?
I'm sore. Ugh. [not happy emoticon]

This lying around is making me crazy. But I'm so tired!!! And Jackbaby is teething. Molars. Ugh.

I haven't been taking the Percocet since Sunday so I'm feeling the pain more. But the Percs were making me feel too good, so I didn't lie down as much as I should have, and the bleeding hasn't stopped yet - so now I'm letting the pain level tell me when I should be lying down and when it's ok to be up for a bit. Apparently it's not ok a lot.
We had Jackbaby's birthday party on Sunday and I thought I didn't do much - no cleaning, minimal setting-up for the party, sat or laid down for most of it... but I guess it was too much because I felt like utter crap yesterday. Today was a bit better but this is my day: get up, watch a bit of TV with Jackbaby, mess about on MN the computer, have a shower, have a looooooooooooooong nap... wake up, repeat. Well, substitute sitz bath for shower. WHY am I so tired????

Sawyer64 · 18/02/2009 10:00

Ditto Jacksmama!

I went out to Tesco with DH on Monday,going a bit "Cabin-Crazy" here! BIG mistake!!!!

Halfway round,I had to hobble back to car (John Wayne style!) Not that sitting in the car gave me any relief.

I came home and went to bed slept for an hour and a half.

Since then I have beeen increasingly sore. It feels like I have a cut just outside or stitch maybe??
All I know is I have been sitting with feet up most of the time,but the pressure "down there" seems to build up until I cannot sit anymore.

Re-reading a previous post I think by Palm somebody,she had an infection so by the 4th day she was in alot of discomfort,I had half a mind to ring the GP today.But I don't fancy being examined as I'm so sore.

Today is marginally better,I used a Hot water bottle yesterday evening,that gave me a little relief.

Think the tiredness is normal,feel the same,and I remember feeling like this for 2 weeks with a previous G.A.Not sure about the soreness but with you feeling the same,maybe thats "par for the course" as well.

Just don't google this as I got quite depressed reading all the American experiences last night.

But like everything in life,sadly, most people don't post/talk about the good things only the bad.

I'm going to give it another day and see whether I need a trip to the GP to check I have no infection.
I'm still bleeding too (Day 8) not fresh,and not 100% blood (TMI?)Not keen on the "aroma" either
Keep in touch,We'll get through this.Poor Jack is "coming out in sympathy" for your pain with his teething!

Sawyer64 · 18/02/2009 10:04

See here for that reference to infections.

flourybaps · 18/02/2009 13:23

Hiya sawyer and jacksmama, just checking in to see how your doing. Sorry to hear that the pain is getting worse for both of you, def sounds like a trip to see gp is required sawyer.

Hope you both manage to get lots of rest and are being looked after.

ThingOne · 18/02/2009 14:52

Sorry you're struggling. You really do have to take things easy after a GA. I've been told that it can take two weeks to get out of the system, so that alone can make you feel bad.

If you are getting more pain I really would see someone. One of our GPs said when there's increasing pain after an op like this the first, second and third things they look at are an infection. BTDT got too many infection tshirts!

Hope not the case for either of you.

JacksmamasBabyIsOneYearOld · 18/02/2009 15:55

I don't think I have an infection. TMI alert (isn't Mumsnet great for that) but I usually go by smell to rule out infection and my rather sensitive nose (which never recovered from its dog-like ability to smell anything during pregnancy) says it's fine. I'm just a rarely-sit-still type of person by nature so I'm finding it hard to rest as much as possible.

And I'm sorry if I gave the wrong impression - I'm not actually having more pain, I just stopped taking my narcotics on Sunday past and have been managing with no analgesics to give me an idea of how sore I am. It's definitely manageable, and it's good for me to know that I'm sore and get off my feet rather than stumble about smacked off my tits with a silly grin on my face and overdo it IYKWIM . It is sore, of course - to be expected!! - but as someone pointed out, nowhere near as bad as last year when I had Jackbaby and it felt like someone had set off an atomic bomb in my fanjo.

Sawyer, if you're not happy with the smell and if it's getting uncomfortable to sit despite good pain control I'd see the GP if I were you. I wouldn't want to be examined either right now!! But an infection could mess everything up. So get checked!!! And report back. ok?
xxx

Sawyer64 · 18/02/2009 20:01

Will do jacksmama!

Thanks for the support ladies.It helps to come on here and feel you are not alone.

JacksmamasBabyIsOneYearOld · 19/02/2009 01:11

It really does, doesn't it. There was hardly anyone in RL I could talk to about my problems after Jackbaby's birth (PND, post-trauma, all the physical issues) - most everyone got a bit grossed out and couldn't handle it.
So thanks all and to cyee for starting this thread!

Sawyer64 · 19/02/2009 10:01

Seconded Cyee

Cyee · 19/02/2009 21:14

Ah thanks ladies

I have taken SO MUCH comfort and solidarity from you all, I really have.

Hope you're all doing ok. For what its worth I went and got checked out because the pain didn't seem to be abating. My doc had a look and there was on infection but she said the area was hugely and deeply bruised (they really push and pull you during the procedure) and that it was most likely that the bruising was the cause of the pain and not the actual op.

I feel a bit shell shocked today as my lovely fil is in hosp with hydrocephalus... looks like his cancer (lung tumour) has spread to his brain

Best wishes to you all - this life does sure throw us bad old curve balls...

OP posts:
JacksmamasBabyIsOneYearOld · 20/02/2009 01:06

Hi Cyee,
whew, I'm so glad there's no infection, but ohhh, the bruising sounds awful. I am ashamed to admit it but I can't recall what procedure you've had recently, and I'm even more embarrassed to admit that right now I can't bring myself to read the thread again either from the start (it brings up way too much stuff about Jackbaby's birth etc) or read far enough back to figure it out... so if you could clue me in as to what you had done where they pushed and pulled you around... I'm so sorry for my numpty-ness!!

And re your father-in-law.
Would a tiny, most un-MN-like ((((HUG)))) be welcome?

Cyee · 20/02/2009 09:20

Thanks for the hug and no worries about not knowing what's happened to who. I comtemplated putting a spreadsheet together... but... well... ahh.. I didn't

I haven't had anything done since last may and when I did it was a sphincteroplasty. So they went in through my perin. and overlapped the tissue. Hope this helps

Take care all

OP posts:
Cyee · 20/02/2009 09:20

Thanks for the hug and no worries about not knowing what's happened to who. I comtemplated putting a spreadsheet together... but... well... ahh.. I didn't

I haven't had anything done since last may and when I did it was a sphincteroplasty. So they went in through my perin. and overlapped the tissue. Hope this helps

Take care all

OP posts:
JacksmamasBabyIsOneYearOld · 20/02/2009 15:52

Oh gah, that sounds... well, about as much fun as what the rest of us had, all put together! I thought you'd had something else done since last May. I can get through the first bit of the thread, and of course since I joined, but bogged down in the middle bit due to overwhelm.

I really am so grateful to you for starting this thread. I found the birth trauma support thread, but (same issue) couldn't get through it, it was too much, and they mostly discuss the emotional trauma, which is great, but there wasn't much on the physical side of things that was very concrete and helpful. So, having let someone else sort out my head, I needed more info on the physical, and here you were.

Having said that, it's such crap that we had to post here, but so great to be able to post about issues that are usually left unmentioned. I mean, where else can you find info on anal ultrasounds???

Sawyer64 · 20/02/2009 17:02

Hi Cyee and Jacksmama!

Sorry to hear about your FIL Cyee,I'm sure the Hydrocephalus can be drained,but not much comfort I guess,but it needn't be as "serious" as it sounds.

Hope you are feeling ok Jacksmama,and BabyJacks teething pain is better.

TMI Alert ..... How long did you girls bleed for?

I didn't go to GP as feel alot better now,and only get really uncomfortable when sitting for too long,or at the end of the day.

I really don't think I have an infection.Odour isn't pleasant,but wearing a blood soaked "Nappy" all the time I guess it won't be.Hate wearing Sanitary Towels.Blood loss is not red now,so hoping (like Lochia) that this is a good sign, that it is coming to an end.

flourybaps · 20/02/2009 18:18

Hi all, sorry to hear about your FIL Cyee,I cant be of much use but im thinking of you.

Glad your feeling bit better sawyer64 can I just ask a question on two how are you managing around the house at the mo? Has it been 2 weeks since your op? Just practical stuff, loading dishwasher, tidying up, cooking etc and looking after children?

Also are you still taking painkillers or has pain died down a bit now?

I know everyone is different but it does help to compare notes!

You make such a good point Jacksmama that you nearly had me in tears, i was so relieved to be able to talk about my physical health and not care about the tmi factor! I just didnt want to talk or think about the emotional trauma and still dont tbh I just want to move on. And this thread is helping so much, its great to be able to talk to other women who know exactly how im feeling.

Anyway I saw colo-rectal consultant the other day and she was just fab, really explained things to me so I feel I know whats going on, I have a anal fissure (ouch) and im gonna be treating that with diltiazem cream and then go back and be reviewed in a few weeks but that may need an op but ill cross that bride when I come to it. Most importantly got to aviod getting constipated post op as Ill hit the bloody roof, its so painful!

She said I have got a pelvic floor injury but that may take up to 18 months to return to normal but I dont have to have biofeedback therapy so im glad about that tbh.

I go in for my op, posterior repair, on sunday, op on monday so Im getting very nervous but just want it all over and done with........

So thanks again ladies and Ill keep you updated. Take care everyone and speedy recoveries all round

flourybaps · 20/02/2009 18:23

Scuse spelling! Rushing as have to get baby bathed and to bed!

Sawyer64 · 20/02/2009 19:23

Good Luck FlouryBaps! You are just where I was 2 weeks ago.

I can honestly say I dreaded it and was very nervous.But it turned out loads better than I expected.

After a week I was able to potter about and do light jobs,even though DH kept telling me to sit down!

I could do almost everything I needed to do with the DC's apart from lift/carry them.

My DD2 (2.4) has been potty trained since she was 2,and preferred the toilet,but have encouraged her to use the potty,and then all I had to do was kneel down and sort out her clothes/wipe her bottom etc.

I guess I could do this as my repair was "internal",not through my perineum,like Cyee,so bending and kneeling isn't a problem.

My most painful bit is sitting for too long,and I'd still describe it as very uncomfortable,rather than pain.

I am still taking the painkillers as it gets quite uncomfortable at the end of the day,but I am nearly at the stage where I could skip them occasionally.

I can cook,load the dishwasher,wash up,dress the children.I even dusted and tidied today,whilst DH hoovered.

Get as much rest as you can in week 1,and then you should be ok to potter about in week 2,with lots of rest periods in between.

Have a good weekend.Will be thinking of you.

JacksmamasBabyIsOneYearOld · 21/02/2009 16:53

Hi floury - repeat what Sawyer said about housework/ pottering. I didn't do much of anything except lie around, have a shower, and eat during the first week. This is now the end of the second week and I've been able to do more - dishwasher, laundry, etc. Still not lifting anything heavier than the baby - although at around 25 pounds I have a feeling that is not what my surgeon had in mind... but he doesn't feel heavy to me!!

I'm in discomfort now rather than pain. Yesterday my mum and I did a shopping trip across the border to the States, and that was more walking than I'd done and by 4 pm I was good and ready to sit down. Even needed some ibuprofen and paracetamol. But felt loads better after resting a bit. I feel achy now (TMI alert) - sort of achy inside, if that makes sense, and like my labia are aching on the right. I had that after Jackbaby was born, as well, only much, much worse and according to my surgeon, the pain distribution indicates that the pudendal nerve, which supplies sensation to the perineum, is bruised/ aggravated/ damaged. But it does go away with rest, and especially application of heat, whether as a bean bag or sitz bath. I found heat so soothing after the op. I used ice once, I think, when I felt I needed it, but the rest of the time it's been heat.

On my surgical sheet when I was in pre-op it said that my surgeon was doing a "posterior repair" as well - I guess they just call it that when you have surgery inside the vagina? I suppose calling it a "right-sided repair" would have sounded funny, even though all my scar tissue & polyp etc was on the right wall of the vagina. It sounds like you're having the same thing done that I had.

On the subject of bleeding, I'm now 12 days post-op and have light bleeding. Maybe 2" x 2" on the sanitary napkin a few times a day. It's light reddish brown. I find I can tell when I need to get off my feet by the bleeding - it's heavier when I've overdone. I found that the first and second day post-op it was as heavy as the middle of my period. After that, it stayed moderate (sort of middle-to-end of a normal period) for about a week. The last few days it's been much lighter.

What I find really disconcerting about it is that I occaisonally remember that the bleeding is not my uterus ditching its contents, it's bleeding from a cut in my vagina! Yikes!! And then I wonder, shouldn't it be closed yet??? After all, it's mucosal tissue which heals very quickly! But I guess the internal environment (moist etc) means that an incision wouldn't close as fast as one exposed to air. And of course it wasn't a simple cut, judging by the surgeon's description of the depth of the nodule she removed, as well as excising the entire scar and undermining the tissue. (GAH!!!) I mentioned this to DH and thank God he'd listened to what the surgeon said, that the bleeding could go on for a couple of weeks. It has obviously slowed down, I had almost none last night, so I'm reassured.

I just wanted to bump a question that cyee raised a few weeks ago (or maybe longer - see, I was able to read that far back!!), which didn't seem to get answered as far as I could tell: have any of you conceived since your difficulties and operations?
It's not in the cards for us, I think - well, at least not for a while because I'd need to be completely recovered. And DH is really happy with just one child. TBH, even though I have been guaranteed a section for a second child, I don't know if I could do it again. My mind just shrinks from the thought right now. And I'm turning 40 in April so I don't have all the time in the world. And as DH says, we have perfection now [besotted parents emoticon]... but I just wanted to ask.

Sawyer64 · 21/02/2009 17:37

I had a very Traumatic Birth with DS in 1996,but "degrees of tears" etc weren't talked about so much then.I didn't tear but I was cut,for Forceps.(My GP commented it was an odd way to cut in my 6 wk check)

I was "pushing" from lunchtime until 6pm,when I'd had enough.
I had a PPH,and later an infection.
I was seperated from my H from 3 mths pg,and later divorced.

I didn't have a "sex-life" again until I met my DH-to be in 2002,so by then everything had healed,including my "traumatised mind".

I had DD1 in 2004,and again her delivery was very traumatic.I presume they did another Episotomy,as I had stitches,and I had Ventouse.

I healed better this time,but mentally was very traumatised.I had a fabulous MW who came and went through my notes with me,answered everything. She felt that they'd had to make some critical decisions,maybe in hindsight a little rash,but in order to have a "good" outcome.

I can honestly say that helped me tremendously.I was angry and upset,and ended up feeling that every decision had been made to avoid a tragedy.

I didn't have anywhere near the pain and discomfort you guys have had,so for me the desire to have another DC outweighed my fears.

I had DD2 in 2006 by planned C-Secion,and it was the best "delivery" I've had.I had her at 10.40am and was getting into a bath at 5pm.I had to keep reminding myself that I'd actually had the baby!!! It was surreal.
The theatre staff were great,the anaesthetist was in tune with me totally,as I grimaced(felt like they were doing washing up in my tum) he offered me a GA.or some painkiller and Gas and Air.

My recovery was much faster than the other two "Normal Deliveries".

Sorry its so long,but felt I needed to explain in order to answer your question.
(By the way,the Conceiving bit was ok too,no discomfort)

Sawyer64 · 21/02/2009 17:41

Thanks for the info re: Bleeding.I am Day 12 today,and my blood loss is similar.

Cyee · 23/02/2009 08:38

Hi All,

Good luck Flourybaps - though I'd imagine you aren't on MN right now... or even thinking much about us I'd guess!!

Thanks for the good wishes for my FIL. He's stable at the mo. Tumour removed and hydrocephalus addressed... we just need to find out what happens next.

Thanks also (am I starting to sound like Kate Winslet? Picture the shampoo bottle..!) for all the positive feedback about this thread. I derive a huge amount from being able to come on here and discuss these situations. It has made me amazed that I probably know loads of people in RL who've had similar experiences but it's a total taboo.

Glad you're all recovering well. I didn't have any bleeding with my op, but imagine that's because of where he was working. My period arrived the day after (fabulous) so I have no input on the length of time etc.

I've started taking folic acid now, so will keep you posted once the 'trying' actually starts . I have been guaranteed a section which is ok because the women I know who had sections actually recovered more quickly than those with 'normal' deliveries and stitches. I think I am quite lucky... lucky?!.. to actually have had a positive birth experience and then have the damage id'ed later, so I have the weird situ of actually feeling nostalgic about not having a VB in future

Anyway - take care everyone and look forward to hearing how things went Flourybaps.

OP posts:
Sawyer64 · 23/02/2009 11:50

Yes good Luck Florybaps! Thinking of you.
It'll be over before you know it,and you'll be at home recovering.