How do I live after debilitating illness

[Seeingalight]

N/c
I am 50yrs with 2 DC, husband and was a freelance consultant.

I collapsed last July and was taken to a&e unconscious, with infections and suffered encephalitis.
To cut a long story short I was bed bound for 5 months, and then housebound.
l started treatment with off label medication by a neurologist in Dec, but in January caught covid which developed into pneumonia. I've been in hospital again had 4 more lots of antibiotics.

As I've been so ill my husband, mil, sister and DCs have been looking after every aspect of my care and the household.
So much of the time I've been too ill to even think, speak, engage.

As a result I've sadly lost friends who didn't stay in contact, clients (understandably), missed important family events Inc a bereavement.

We have used up savings from me working and the cost of private health (I'd still be waiting next year, 60 week waiting list).

I've been so ill and now life feels scary. I'm starting again learning how to live. How do I do this?

Have you applied for Personal Independence Payment? Its non means tested and designed to help with additional costs that long term health conditions and disabilities cause. I know your question wasnt financial and more general but thats one piece of practical advice I can offer.

I don't think life ever feels the same again. It's as though you've peeled a layer off and you don't grow that back.

I also suffered a serious illness but never fully recovered. What still hurts today are the friends I lost. Some thought that I just couldn't be bothered to see them. The worst was one female friend who removed me from a WhatsApp group of friends. I've still never spoken to her again.

It has however made me value the people who stuck around - few that they were.

I'm a similar age to you too. It's also made me tell anyone who will listen to get income protection insurance. Sadly I didn't have it with the job I had at the time - only critical illness which wouldn't pay out as it wasn't terminal. But my new job I have this through work and I feel quite relieved because I'm the breadwinner and it was a terrible time for us (combined with Dp losing his job).

I think resentment also developed between me and Dp because he had to do so much for me but he had a serious illness in 2018 where I had to do everything for him. It's really tough, you have my sympathy. Take it slow and remember those who don't bugger off!

@VeneziaJ thank you, no I didn't know about it, am looking into it today.

@FrenchConnection1 thank you. Losing my closest friends has been painful and eye opening. So awful being removed from the WhatsApp group, I'm so sorry.

I know it's hard on those who are caring for us and I really appreciate them so much. My DD has been amazing at helping me if I wake in the night struggling to breathe and feverish. She said a few days ago how horrendous it was one particular night seeing how the pneumonia took my mind.

There's been a lot and things I don't even remember.

I don't think life ever feels the same again. It's as though you've peeled a layer off and you don't grow that back

This is so true. I read your reply last night and was too tired to reply, but haven't stopped thinking about this part. Thank you.