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Scared - DH rectal bleeding

10 replies

OptimisticRealist2024 · 09/03/2025 14:35

Husband (32) went to loo on Friday and had blood in the toilet and Saturday (yesterday).

Bright red blood and looked like more than a few drops in the bowl - the water looked bright red. He wasn't straining. Stung a little bit while wiping. Happened again yesterday, stung a bit while wiping but otherwise painless. Not constipated.

He's had another bowel movement today and there's been absolutely no blood anywhere. No stinging. Everything feels normal again.

I'm pregnant and have chronic health anxiety. I am very scared. He is otherwise fit and healthy.

He won't see a doctor - he said if it happened again today, he'd see a doc tomorrow. But now he feels better, he won't go. He doesn't want a rectal examination and doesn't see the point. He says it happened to him a couple of months ago, too, and went away again.

(I had something similar last year but with lots of constipation and straining, went to doctor and was examined, sent off a sample and it was all fine. For me, it was a one-off - I think I burst a blood vessel or something.)

He won't look at himself for piles, and internet makes it sound like anal fissures can take weeks to heal and hurt a lot more than a sting when you wipe.

Is he really just fine? I don't know how to stop thinking about it.

My husband is lovely, but he thinks this is my anxiety disorder taking over and doesn't want to go just to shut me up - he really doesn't think there's anything wrong. 😐

I've tried persuading him and I've tried making him understand how serious it could be, and even said that I'd make the appointment for him if it means he'll see someone...but to no avail. He just wants me to drop it - he isn't being rude, he's just had enough of me nagging him.

I don't know what to do. ☹️

OP posts:
BunfightBetty · 09/03/2025 14:39

It is very likely to be just a burst pile or a small fissure and nothing of long term significance. Gently, it does sound like your anxiety is running the show here. What are you worried about?

Jumblebum · 09/03/2025 14:40

Bright red blood like this tends not to be too much of a concern. It's much more likely to be piles or a fissure. Especially if it's not accompanied by any other symptoms. Theres also not much that can be done for anal fissures except keeping stools nice and soft, so let him know to keep hydrated, up the fibre and if necessary a stool softener from the chemist.

But this may be more about your health anxiety. Have you ever done anything about it?

MayaPinion · 09/03/2025 14:42

It’s usually nothing to worry about, especially if it’s bright red. He’s probably just eaten something that hasn't been broken down fully and it has scratched his rectum on the way out. Keep an eye on it and tell him not to eat anything spicy until it’s healed!

OptimisticRealist2024 · 09/03/2025 14:45

@BunfightBetty Thanks - I am really aware that my health anxiety is a bit mad atm (hormones not helping) - and went to Doctor about this on Friday so not surprised that it's taken over.

I think I need a sane person to tell me it's okay not to go to doctor if you see that much blood in the loo when you have a bowel movement.

I think it's cancer - I always think it's cancer - and I'd quite like him to be fit and healthy and have a long life where he sees our baby grow up. I had a male family friend who was very fit and healthy who died of breast cancer at 22. You never know. ☹️

OP posts:
Odiebay · 09/03/2025 15:04

Bowel cancer doesn't present that way usually. It would be blood within his stool and generally not bright red in colour. Probably a pile or an anal fissure. Especially if it stung.

If it was cancer the blood wouldn't just come once.

OptimisticRealist2024 · 09/03/2025 15:56

Thank you, everyone - almost relieved to hear that this is a me problem than a DH problem. ❤️

OP posts:
caringcarer · 09/03/2025 17:12

Get him some Anusol gel. It's to heal piles.

FeatherFace · 09/03/2025 21:34

If it makes you feel better - and seeing as you did ask! - this is overwhelmingly a YOU problem. Honestly. You describe an absolute classic case of piles tbh

Firenzeflower · 09/03/2025 21:37

Epsom salts in the bath are great for piles.

MissHollysDolly · 09/03/2025 22:10

Piles or a fissure. I had a fissure and it hurt a little - not a lot at all. Given "a lot of pain" seemed to be one of the diagnostic criteria I got myself into a tizz too. But honestly just felt like the end bit of my poo was a bit scratchy.

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