The Great Recovery part 4

[TopOfTheCliff]

Time for a new thread. Welcome aboard!

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!
Here are some resources we found helpful:
The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis
Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/
Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward
Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html
Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/
Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients
Any more suggestions? Post them below
There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

Hi everyone, so much news and so many updates while I’ve been awol. Lovely to hear about the job @Remaker , congratulations

Work has been a lot the last couple of weeks and I’ve been ploughing on with clearing my parents’ house, feeling a bit sad no one wants to buy it. It’s been on the market for 4 months and we’ve done 2 substantial price reductions. I’ve also had a lot of recurrence anxiety but is abated a little now. Mine was over a persistent pain in my right side but I eventually realised it lessened when I consciously relaxed my muscles and it’s now gone away. My sympathies @PollyCreo

And I have lymphoedema @Littlecaf Mine appeared around my one year check up. I did everything right but I think there is a lot of luck involved. I see a therapist for drainage who said she has one patient who only had two nodes removed and still got it. Mine seems to be getting steadily worse in spite of swimming 4 times a week and having paid for expensive experimental surgery. I do find it depressing, tbh, and it feels really unfair. But then none of this sorry business is fair. I am currently trying hard to lose some weight which might help

I’ve been a bit AWOL too, in Italy then busy with work.

We’re the same with DM’s house @dotty2 - I’m going to speak to the EA next week. We did have a second viewing but she decided to go with a bungalow in the end. Difficult to know whether lowering the price will actually help, I think we’re just waiting for a particular buyer and the market is slow. We’ll maybe give it until after Easter and then decide. It’s sad that it’s empty and also feels like a burden and I don’t want to feel that way about it. I don’t go around much either, so I do worry about it.

I have also been having recurrence worries, I feel like my body hurts all over which is probably menopause, But who knows, it’s difficult to know what to go to the doctor with first!

I was doing a lot of stress/comfort eating. Not so much unhealthy, just a lot but since I’ve been to Italy where I ate a lot and unhealthily, I feel like I’ve been able to reset a little bit and be a bit more healthy. I’d like to drop maybe another 5lb and hold it there.

I’m actually at the gym now, I did a yoga class so had a coffee and now I’m going to do pool and spa. I’ve been working long hours and probably putting too much priority on work and not exercising enough, so I need to reset that too, but it’s difficult when I wake up feeling tired and achy.

Thanks @MsPenguins @TopOfTheCliff @dotty2 for the info - it’s just my underarm that’s puffy -the shoulder, and rest of arm is fine. Maybe post surgery swelling then? So weird, maybe it’s draining and being puffy while it does its thang? I’d never really believed in reflexology either but thought I’ll throw anything at feeling perkier! And yes from what I’ve read it does seem to be luck if you get it or not. SIL had full clearance and unfortunately has it in the whole of her arm - she wears a compression sleeve all day - so it scares me a bit. My appointment on Monday is titled “Post surgery, wound care and lymphoedema” so it’s on the agenda so to speak.

Today I have been advising a friend of a friend about chemo. When I was being diagnosed so many people said “my friend had BC…..if you want to talk to her I’m sure she’ll chat….…” well it’s my turn now to offer the advice. Feels comforting to have passed through that stage but triggering at the same time.

Oooh in other news, we’ve booked a ridiculously naff all inclusive for a week at Easter. All singing all dancing water park theme park beach etc. The kids can’t wait. Because of immunotherapy dates we’ve managed to only get 6 out of 7 days within the school holidays - so I applied to take the DC out of school for one day. Even told the headteacher that it wasn’t in any way educational - despite this he approved request as authorised! I’m astounded. The school know what I’ve been through and it genuinely is trying to fit around immunotherapy dates and CT scan for radiotherapy - but I was still shocked!

@PollyCreo like @MsPenguins I also say ‘all clear’ to people outside the cancer community because that’s what they understand. And two years down the track I’m fed up of sad faces and probing questions so I just smile and tell them all clear and we move on. My surgeon and oncologist tend to use very positive language and haven’t ever said NED to me (though I’ve seen it in reports).

@Littlecaf I was treated at a cancer hospital in Sydney that also offers supportive therapies providing they are evidence based. Reflexology is one of the services offered which means there must be science behind it. I had acupuncture for my peripheral neuropathy but haven’t had lymphoedema so no experience there.

Feeling a bit nervous about the new job but I know that’s normal. I’m taking my mind off it by driving DD back to Canberra for Uni today. I’ll stay the night and have dinner with her. Hopefully she will talk for hours about people I’ve never met and distract me from my worries.

@TopOfTheCliff and @MsPenguins I have lapsed with the healthy eating a bit too - most of a packet of delicious dark chocolate oat digestive style biscuits yesterday.

I’m still waiting about the job - I’ve been shortlisted. Had the physical and done all the tests - psychometric, logical, verbal etc on line.
It’s not a high level job at all. But they are very thorough!

They don’t realise it kind of dictates my choices for the rest of the year. However I have a few backup options and I’m doing a lot of tutoring which I’m enjoying.

I did another writer’s circle yesterday. Running a workshop next week. @remaker what kind of magazine are you going to be editor of? If you have any contacts amongst the historical fiction community please PM me!

Husband is off doing paid photography stuff this weekend. I was thinking about going today but it’s honestly just a merch exercise. I’m more of a vintage market type.

I acquired my citizenship on Thursday - it’s been a long time coming. Bit sad my family weren’t here. They gave us all a tree to plant and mine is now in a tub. It’s a red Myrtle. Glad I now get to vote. Also glad that I live in a decent democratic country that isn’t being bombed.

Re the fear of reoccurrence - it’s a weird one for me. It seems distant at the moment. Thankfully.

@Littlecaf - I had everything out on the right side - the surgeon said ‘down to the bone’. (Just another disgusting phrase that I remember).
I’ve swam loads and did all the exercises. Now doing light weights. Massage also supposed to help. I hope it resolves.

I’ve been back to the physio with the nerve pain - more exercises. Pelvic thrusting in front of a young fit physio is not ideal … but at least I stopped myself singing ‘the time warp’ while I was doing the exercise! I save that for when I’m at home! 🤣

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

LOL to the time warp @FairyWren7 and fingers crossed for the job, having new job is a really big thing. They should know that it affects what happens to people, so I hope they hurry up!

Holiday sounds great @Littlecaf- we never actually did all inclusive we generally did half board but we used to do those hotel holidays, in fact still do although we’re Airbnbing in the south of France this year now DD is a grown-up. It’s me who wanted to go to the waterparks though rather than DD, she thought I was embarrassing 😂. We also use the “tell them your mum’s had cancer” line where it would benefit us, you have to get something out of it!

Good luck with the job @Remaker- I’m now eight months into mine and I love it and I feel completely at home there, though obviously takes a while to settle in anywhere. It was a big change for me going from working freelance, including all through chemo, and full-time hours are a bit challenging, but I don’t have a commute as it’s local and the camaraderie and social connection it gives me is such a big thing. I may ask to drop a few hours at some point in the future so I have more time for other things, although I’d worry that I would just still do the same amount of work and be paid less!

I’ve got tennis this morning, then maybe a wander across to the cafe in the park with a friend. I feel a lot better for the exercise yesterday, I’ve got no evening meetings this week so hoping to get to the gym a little bit more.

Thanks all - and yes @SierraSapphire i did “use” the “I had cancer last year so we had to cancel our summer holiday” line - which is true.

@Remaker @FairyWren7 new jobs & interviews are exciting! Go for it ❤️

I also say to those outside the cancer community “all clear” or “it’s gone, all the treatment going forward is to prevent reaccurence” but nobody has ever said NED to me - just that my pathology was clear and I’ve been discharged from the active cancer clinic. Not sure when you get to NED? Does a specific period of time have to have passed?

I think NED is the result of scans etc. rather than a time period @Littlecaf- I tend to say, very untechnically, “I’m okay as far as I know” as I don’t want to tempt fate nor discuss it in any detail! I generally don’t want to talk about it, especially to people I don’t know very well, but I do sometimes wish my friends would ask me a bit more about it and how I feel now and the effects on me. When I was on holiday recently with a friend I had a day I was getting really bad stomach cramps, have had issues since chemo, she didn’t ask me or acknowledge it beyond asking whether I had IBS, I guess it is a type of IBS but very specific too my cancer treatment. I also really don’t want to say the word cancer it seems, so I refer to my health issues, as do other people!

I’ve had a pretty productive day, I played tennis, been to the supermarket and had an Ocado delivery, I’ve sorted out clothes and vacuumed under my bed, lots of dust, sorted out my final accounts for my business, and watched a couple of episodes of The Last Laugh, Which my daughter said was hilarious where was I’m finding it only mildly entertaining! It’s good for me to relax though, I’m not very good at that!

Well done @SierraSapphire good use of time there!
I got up early and went out and rode 65 miles on my bike with DH. He drove back from Scotland overnight and got home at 5.30am so is a bit sleep deprived.
The ride was very pretty, started warm and ended up freezing, and it was a hard 7 hours of slog. I forget now why I signed up. I think maybe it’s because not doing it would be giving in and accepting I am too old and unfit for it and I am not ready for that.

Wow, 65 miles is good going.

I haven't been given any status following treatment, though people sometimes ask if I'm in remission and I say yes. I didn't know anything about breast cancer before I was diagnosed (beyond thinking I was too young to get it) and I only realised part way through treatment that it can recur despite treatment.

My weekend was not very active, I seem to be in the watching activities phase of parenting.

I've lost a bit more weight and am wondering if I should report this to anyone. I assume it's because of my dodgy bowels, but then perhaps I shouldn't assume that.

@demivolte are you a healthy weight or are you getting a bit too slim? I think if the latter I would seek advice. You may need some extra nutritional support if your bowel isn’t working properly. Don’t let it worry you at night.

@Littlecaf did you get any helpful advice at the clinic?

DD had a healthy scan so we are allowing ourselves to get a little bit excited now. My DC are treating me this Mother’s Day but by next year DD will be a mother! That’s so lovely.
I am back on track with my eating now. I have a weekly organic veg box that comes with helpful recipes. Last night I tried roasting purple sprouting broccoli with olive oil, lemon, chilli flakes and garlic. It was amazing!

I have some nice news - I was offered the job! Hurrah - I can start to build a new working life out side of teaching! I’m really pleased!

It does mean I won’t be having an extended break with family and friends this summer but I need to try and move forward. Hopefully all being well I can have a couple of weeks in the UK. See how we go.

God knows about the reconstruction. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. It’s out of my hands.

@TopOfTheCliff I love purple sprouting broccoli. I used to grow it when I had an allotment.

Congratulations @FairyWren7 well done.

Well done @FairyWren7- that’s fantastic after your various work-related uncertainties!

I also eat purple sprouting broccoli, but mine comes from Aldi!

i’ve got DD back at the weekend for her birthday, and she’s invited her boyfriend‘s parents over here for a birthday lunch, so I’m going to spend the evening working out what I can cook/buy from M&S!

@FairyWren7 well done! Nice to have something positive!

@TopOfTheCliff yes - it was helpful - the nurse tested all the tissue under my arm, down my arm and across my chest and the only place that was positive for lymphoedema was my scar! They test it with a thing that looks like a damp meter - so weird. She showed me how to do a lymph massage and ordered a compression bra. So some mild lymphoedema which at the moment doesn’t really bother me.

I also had an MRI scan on my head & brain a few weeks ago. When I was taking tamoxifen I had the most awful migraines - the oncologist wanted a head scan so I’ve been waiting 3 weeks for the result. The oncologist left me a voicemail saying it was all clear - so obviously very relieved! I was at my DC swimming lessons at the time and went & cried in a changing cubicle! I’ve been trying not to think about it but I’m hoping I can put the whole awful tamoxifen experience behind me.

Thanks for the nice messages. Yeah changing career during recovery from cancer has not been ideal! But I’m really looking forward to the new challenge.

Good to read your good news @Littlecaf

Ooh lots to celebrate today! Well done @FairyWren7 that is great news. Maybe when you have made yourself indispensable in the new job you could negotiate some unpaid leave to come back to the UK?
@Littlecaf phew! That all sounds positive and you can park it all and concentrate on more rewarding bits of life for a while. It’s odd how the lurking fear pops up every now and then when least expected.

@SierraSapphire have you met the BFs parents before? I would be mildly stressing I think. My DS is bringing his PILs to be down here in May for a holiday and I am already planning the tidyup and catering.

I’m a bit exhausted today. Too much exercise I think, with three days of cycling and a Pilates class. Now I need to get my car MOTed and the garage I booked with six weeks ago has let me down. Grrr. I think I shall have a deliberate rest for a bit then regroup.

Congratulations Fairywren

Great scan clear LittleCaf.

Hope your DD has a great birthday Sierra. Sounds serious if the boyfriends parents are visiting.

That's so good your DD had a healthy scan Top.

Just back from swimming. Was busy at work and so good to do swimming, went on Fri, Sun and tonight. DH and I are off for a spa hotel weekend this weekend. I have booked us both into aqua yoga and aqua dance and DH is a bit 🙀It also seems to include a facial each, not sure he realises this yet. DD has been doing her punting job on the river and off to rowing camp for a week. Apparently she is rowing 3 times a day and also incharge of food as they asked who was a good cook and she replied me. 🤣 She cooks a bit but was quite surprised she volunteered for that. My weight was also down again, no idea what is happening with my scales but happy about that.

@TopOfTheCliff thank you, that makes sense as I feel like I am eating a lot and still losing weight. As luck would have it I've just had a letter through for a surgeon review in a few weeks so I'll mention it then.

That's very exciting news about your DD.

My DD (who is much younger) ambled in while I was in the shower this morning, pointed and said "one boobie" 😂 She is a bit confused by the whole thing I think.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend. It's chilly here.

It has warmed up here apart from when you are in a windy place. About time!
DH surprised me by coming with me to see DM91 today. He drove both ways and bought me fish and chips when we got back which was kind. I think he is missing his DM and wanted to appreciate mine while we still have her. She is very sweet and loving. Tomorrow my DB is visiting her so she will be spoiled a little again. I took her a new hand bag liner and some mouse traps as she has an infestation! They ate her last hand bag!! (I did also take flowers, chocolates, and cooked her a meal)
Tomorrow I am being fussed over by my DC which will be novel. There should be a nice stomp on the beach with the DDog and some lunch. Hooray!
I am as ever optimistic that I am winning the clutter battle but it seems endless.
For some reason I am a bit queasy and dizzy with tinnitus again but it comes and goes. I shall just avoid ladders.
Happy mother's day to those of you with DMs or DC.

@MsPenguins how did DH cope with the spa/facial?
@demivolte how old is DD? Sweet!

Sounds like a lovely day you've goy planned @TopOfTheCliff .

I don't have any children and now DM and DMiL are no longer with us, on Mother's Day there are no presents/cards/special breakfasts etc in this house. Except - this year my nephew bought me a gift - a ticket for the opera (I love opera). How fab is that!

@TopOfTheCliff sorry to hear about the queasy/dizziness - I’ve had vestibular migraines for about 3 years - during chemo & surgery they stopped completely, only to reappear during my lost tamoxifen month. I’ve returned to my “it’s not going to ruin my life” mode with them. Trying to do that with cancer too but that seems harder.

Ive been feeling more normal this week - did another swim session, have spent most of the weekend so far watching DSs play various sports in our local park, plus yesterday we went to watch ice hockey which was fab! Nice to do something different and also not be a cancer patient. Going for a pub lunch today with DM et al. Might walk there it’s so nice out.