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The Great Recovery part 4

997 replies

TopOfTheCliff · 08/02/2025 19:24

Time for a new thread. Welcome aboard!

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!
Here are some resources we found helpful:
The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis
Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/
Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward
Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html
Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/
Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients
Any more suggestions? Post them below
There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

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Thread gallery
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TopOfTheCliff · 09/07/2025 10:47

@MsPengiuns that sounds lovely. Your DS seems to be a lot more settled these days. He is lucky to have you as parents.
I have just been down to a gym class which was at the same time quite easy and showed how much I lack strength in my arms and legs. I’m pondering what my next goals will be as my BMI is now 25.2 and so close to target. Maybe I just keep going with my routine as it is sustainable and is working! I shall talk to my trainer.
I am off to do an hour on the allotment now, then it is PILs house clearing with a friend. Then I have an engine to rebuild. I am enjoying the pottering life although maybe I should be planning an adventure.
I am sad that the Cancer thread has gone quiet. It needs the folks going through the rawness of diagnosis and the pain of treatment to keep it going.

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frostyfingers · 09/07/2025 13:13

I've been a bit quiet here as I've been processing my uncle's death among other things. The funeral isn't for another couple of weeks and that's going to be hard to deal with, obviously because I'm mourning him, but there's also a little voice in my head going "that might be you" because of my DH's cancer. I'm keeping that to myself for now.

DH has finished chemo and it waiting on CT & MRI scans which are next week to discover next steps. Waiting for info on your own illness is hard enough but possibly worse when it's your partner. He's doing well though, and is dipping his toe back in at work for the odd day which is so encouraging.

For myself, my boob is still sore from the RT, it's quite red, pretty itchy and there are also some little flecks, almost like freckles which have appeared. I do still tend to nod off if I sit still for long enough, but otherwise I'm feeling pretty ok. I have a phone call with the oncology team in August but no scan or mammogram as yet - is that normal? How do they know the cancer is gone if they don't check.....?

Hope your infection is receding now @ememem84 , that sounds incredibly painful.

Off now to pick the broad beans and runner beans that seem to have appeared from nowhere - I don't even like them that much but DH does so it seemed like a good idea to grow them!

FairyWren7 · 09/07/2025 14:25

We had a nice weekend away for our anniversary - apparently eleven years is steel. We’ve needed to be tough! Nice meals, glasses of fizzy, art galleries and a fire festival and live music.

I’ve got back to the pool today - first time since all of the surgeries and infection. Saroma appears to have stopped. Thank goodness. Still haven’t seen the surgeon. His list was cancelled last week due to a scheduling error. I’ve spoken to a couple of the other drs in the plastics team - my only remaining option is a diep. Currently there is no way I will risk that. But being flat well concave isn’t really working for me either. Plus it feels really peculiar - my right side where the lymph nodes were removed just feels uncomfortable most of the time. Better when I have a bra on as others mentioned. I’ve had the compression tube on for a while as well - didn’t want any more fluid collecting.

@ememem84 hope your infection settles down. It’s horrid.

@TopOfTheCliff maybe your next goal is strength training. I’m going to start doing weights soon.

My husband is away for a few days so home alone, it feels a bit weird. I’m still trying to find my feet with work etc.

Alovely parent of one of the students I tutor gave me a bottle of Moet today! Very unexpected and lovely of her.

Its the depths of winter here. I bought myself a bunch of narcissus earlier and they smell gorgeous - spring in a vase.

Littlecaf · 09/07/2025 19:47

Was my last radiotherapy today. I took the staff a box of chocolates to say thank you. It’s my last Phesgo injection in a couple of weeks but I still have hormone therapy injections and tablets for the next 5-10 years. Although hoping that will just fade into the back ground - the side effects are mostly minor hot flushes and the odd post injection headache.

I’m mostly knackered. WFH this morning and did the school run in the afternoon after a nap. I went for a walk with a friend this evening. DP is off for a boys weekend (well, 5 days) to Las Vegas tomorrow - so me and the kids have a few small things planned but mostly I’m just going to take the path of least resistance with parenting this weekend! It looks like a hot one so we might go to the beach on Sunday and there’s various cricket related activities going on too.

dancingwhilstfacingthemusic · 09/07/2025 20:05

Sorry for your loss @frostyfingers and hope very much for good news for your dh.

@FairyWren7 glad to see the seroma has stopped and great that you’re back in the pool. I’ve been swimming regularly and find it really helpful.

@Littlecaf congrats on your last radiotherapy. What a marathon. I don’t think anyone quite realised what they were going to face when initially diagnosed.

frostyfingers · 09/07/2025 21:15

Thank you @dancingwhilstfacingthemusic, we knew it was coming but it doesn't make it any less painful.

Well done @Littlecaf - I was told to expect the effects to increase slightly in the two weeks following my last treatment which seems to be the case. The hormone therapy stuff sounds pretty daunting, I was complaining about taking two pills once a day for 3 years - I think I'll stop having seen what you've got to deal with!

Littlecaf · 09/07/2025 21:32

@frostyfingers @dancingwhilstfacingthemusic thanks for the messages - yes feeling like the end of the marathon is in sight! I recently looked back on the initial messages I sent to friends a year ago about my treatment plan, it rolls off the tongue like it’s no problem to do chemo, mastectomy, radio & hormone therapy. Bloody hell is it a marathon or what! I have to remind myself that breast cancer is a well trod path. I’m so grateful for all the options we have. The radiographer did say expect increased swelling and fatigue about 10-14 days after. Something else to look forward to.

TopOfTheCliff · 09/07/2025 22:20

@FairyWren7 enjoy your “me time” without DH. There is a knack to being on your own, choosing your favourite foods and taking up all of the bed. I loved my 10 day time off 😂 We are back to normal now, bickering about the mess and sharing coffee in the garden. You are right about strength training but I’m not sure what will suit me. I might sign up at the gym for a twice weekly weights session to give me a structure. I’m not very good at consistency at home.

@Littlecaf you have done so well to get through. It is making me feel a bit emotional remembering that just as I recovered from the first breast cancer triathlon I got diagnosed with another BC and had to go through it all a second time. I was bloody awesome staying positive and brave and strong knowing exactly what I was facing as I started over again with IV chemo surgery and radiation. It all seems like a horrible nightmare now. I am so proud of myself but also deeply afraid in case it comes back and I have to summon up that strength all over again. Someone was being rude about my damaged toenails yesterday and I silenced her by telling her I lost them three times with chemo so I am grateful to have any toenails at all. Don’t mess with Top!

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MsPengiuns · 10/07/2025 23:26

Thanks @TopOfTheCliff Well done on the weight loss.

Congrats on finishing radiotherapy @Littlecaf

Anniversary sounds lovely @FairyWren7

Hoping for results to be as good as they can be @frostyfingers

I also love swimming @dancingwhilstfacingthemusic

Just did an hours hoovering upstairs (long haired floofy cat) then 2.5 hours in garden with DH both gardening and I did a bit more on the garden shed for DS. He seems to love it and has even moved his toothbrush in. He also had used his sister's kangaroo suitcase with pouch to put his hairbrush in and a wooden brush to do the floor in - it looked very cute. Tomorrow have a work garden party for DHs work and then next week we have a spa day booked for our 25th anniversary at Ragdale Hall. DD has been busy doing her punting job and then coxing / rowing on the river as well and is off back to Oxford for a week tomorrow for a business course she got a free place on.

ememem84 · 11/07/2025 07:03

That is really interesting. I guess different regions have different guidelines?

I’m now off the antibiotics.

saw surgeon yesterday morning. He really is awesome. I’ve been seeing the breast nurses and they’ve been taking pictures of boob and sending to him. So he’s been monitoring.

he wanted to check in with me yesterday so I was summoned. The “bad” boob (left) looked smaller than the right one for the first time in about a week. I relayed my non medical observation to him and he agreed.

he’s said that he’ll be in touch probably Monday or Tuesday to have another check and we may go back on more antibiotics. But he wants to see how I do without.

I’m also starting zoladex and letrozole next week.

and then abemaciclib (sp?) a few weeks after that.

on august 19 it will be a year since my official diagnosis. I was told on 16 august last year (a Friday) by the radiographer who did my post mammogram ultrasound that he “thought it might be cancer” but was officially told on the following Monday.

what a wild ride!

ememem84 · 12/07/2025 08:13

Surgeon called yesterday lunchtime. From an “unknown number”. I was on another call for work so couldn’t pick up. No voicemail left.

didnt check my personal email until gone 5pm.

his secretary had emailed to say that he’d left a prescription at hospital pharmacy for me to pick up.

tried to callback but no one in his offices gone 5pm on a Friday. Hospital pharmacy closes at 5. Reopens again Monday.

bit annoyed. (At myself not at him or his secretary) if I’d checked email I could have gone to collect. Or asked dsis (who was also at hospital yesterday) to collect.

i don’t feel poorly so I’m not panicking about not having them. More the annoyance.

TopOfTheCliff · 13/07/2025 00:46

@ememem84 don’t berate yourself you have done nothing wrong. It will all work out next week. Glad the boob is recovering.

I am however an idiot and need a good telling off! I was happily spiralising a courgette with my new Amazon gadget and accidentally sliced the top off my index finger. I have never bled so much from a cut! I wrapped my hand in paper towel and gaffer tape and put it up in a plastic bag while DH popped to the chemist to buy first aid supplies. I am now bandaged and elevating my hand and swearing at myself as I can’t do anything much until I have grown a new fingertip! I think if I were a cat I would only have about three lives left. The number of idiotic things that happen in this household is ridiculous. DH is a bit shocked but doing all the washing up for now. Luckily we don’t have any big commitments in the next few days. Having said all that I am glad a cut finger is my worst problem currently. One of my friends went to bed last Thursday and in the morning woke to find his wife dead beside him. Healthy, not old or ill or unhappy. That has put everything else into perspective.
Hope you are all having a more peaceful weekend than we are.

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Remaker · 13/07/2025 01:05

That does sound annoying @ememem84 When I was waiting for the results of my liver biopsy my surgeon called from a private number and I missed it. He said he’d call back and I spent a day glued to my phone before he finally did. It was all clear - you could have mentioned that in the voicemail mate!!

@frostyfingers I’m sorry to hear about your uncle.

@FairyWren7 I’m glad you’re slowly on the mend. And happy belated anniversary.

DH and I have surely unlocked a new relationship level after a joint appointment with the colorectal surgeon. How romantic haha! Mine was a regular post cancer check, nothing to report just a referral for a CT scan in a couple of weeks. DH had some changes in bowel habits and bleeding so I insisted he go to the dr who referred him for a colonoscopy. All clear just a couple of haemorrhoids that needed banding. I think it was good for him to experience it from my side for a change! And I’ve discovered I’m not the most patient nurse especially when he’s shuffling about moaning and wanting to be waited on. I swear he’s made more fuss than I did when I had my entire colon removed.

dancingwhilstfacingthemusic · 13/07/2025 13:42

Good lord @TopOfTheCliff i hope you soon heal over (in the right place)! What a nightmare - the heat seems to make bleeding worse. I’m so sorry to hear of your friend’s trauma and loss. We lost a good friend this week too, younger than us, a lovely woman we met in mn many years ago.

@ememem84 i hope things sort soon. It can be frustration on frustration sometimes.

@Remaker - what a new unlock and I hope your dh soon recovers. We get to a very body-honest stage in our relationship sometimes!

I’m away overseas for a few days. It was the anniversary of my first op yesterday and it’s the first anniversary of losing dad next week.

take care, all.

MsPengiuns · 13/07/2025 14:24

Sorry about your friend's wife Top and your hand.

Sorry about your friend @dancingwhilstfacingthemusic and enjoy time overseas.

Went to DHs work's garden party on Friday which was nice with free food and ice creams and a band but it was 30C. We stayed a couple of hours and chatted with some of his colleagues, had sausage sandwiches with onions and cheese and then 2 posh ice creams in waffle cones, a drink and got a sausage sandwich for DS and then went back home. We were chatting until 3am then DH had his alarm go off at 10am - DHs hearing isn't great and his alarm always wakes everyone but him and he refuses to use his hearing aid for his deaf ear. So was a bit tired after that but caught up last night. DD went off to Oxford on Friday back in a week, getting there on the train, just dropped her at station.

We are continuing to work on making the garden shed into a summerhouse for DS today and collected the painted bedside table with flowers and velvet beanbag chair yesterday. We found DS in the living room eating ice cream when we came back after the garden party. He seems to love his little house in the garden and is always out there now though there's a lot of running between house and garden.

MsPengiuns · 14/07/2025 22:41

Did 2.5 hours gardening and making shed into little house for DS yesterday and he's out there a lot now. Tomorrow have spa day with DH and bought myself a lovely embroidered swimsuit from Boden, it's lovely to be able to wear nice swimsuits again.

TopOfTheCliff · 15/07/2025 00:06

I’m frustrated by my stupidity cutting myself because now I can’t exercise or garden or do decorating until it’s healed. Instead I am organising myself a birthday party which is quite fun. I’ve got a great live band and a big cake and will buy the food from Waitrose and have a cold buffet. I’m limited to no more than 80 friends and I’m thrilled to find I have more than that so am struggling who to leave out. This is making up for my 60th I missed with chemotherapy and Covid and is going to be fun. I’m doing a poll to see how many guests want to dress up in 80s style. There will be karaoke and the extroverts are getting very excited. I am proud of myself for inviting the woman who called me a bully last year as she has upset so many of our club she isn’t invited to anything and her husband is missing out. I’m amazed she wants to come!
Also today I met my trainer for a chat about strength training and we will start next week probably. If I can stop my finger bleeding!

@dancingwhilstfacingthemusic sorry about your friend. Life is unfair.

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Nanaonabike · 15/07/2025 02:10

For MrsPengiins - my heart is very happy for your boy, for all of you, after reading about how much he’s come on and how much he’s enjoying his summer house. ❤️

MsPengiuns · 15/07/2025 02:39

Thanks so much @Nanaonabike Hope you and your family are fine.

TopOfTheCliff · 15/07/2025 09:11

I agree @Nanaonabike hearing that DS is now pottering outside is heartwarming. This thread is like an extended family 🥰

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Remaker · 15/07/2025 10:46

Somehow I missed your finger slicing incident @TopOfTheCliff - sounds very ouchy. Party plans sound great you’re a good person to invite someone who treated you badly.

I feel very sad today because one of my DS’s friends has been killed in an accident. He was crossing a road legally and someone drove through a red light and hit him. He was 18, in his final couple of months of school, with Uni and a bright future ahead. Life is very unfair sometimes.

ememem84 · 15/07/2025 20:50

Eugh.

dd is pushing my buttons. I’m tired and grumpy. Because it’s been bloody hot here and I’ve not been sleeping well. That coupled with boob infection. And no help from DH with anything. Perfect storm.

DH has just suggested that I change my meds. Because they’re obviously the problem. They’re not the issue. He is. He doesn’t back me up with the kids. He lets them do whatever they want.

ds had 11 hours of screen time on Saturday. Because I was out with dd and DH couldn’t be bothered as he was hungover.

im feel like I’m being punished for having cancer. Punished for being on medication that’s making me feel menopausy. Punished for going back to work. Punished for being good at my job.

TopOfTheCliff · 15/07/2025 22:34

@ememem84 so sorry to hear your DH isn’t being a good partner or parent. I think once the cancer treatment is done it’s not uncommon for people to take a hard long at their life and whether it is what they want going forward. This is where some counselling can be helpful. It’s really hard to negotiate recovery as well as a crash menopause. Be kind to yourself you have done so well getting this far.

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MsPengiuns · 15/07/2025 23:40

Thanks Top Your birthday plans sound fun.

So sorry about your DSs friend @Remaker. 18 is so young. That's my DSs age. That's very hard for your DS too.

@ememem84 sorry you are having to deal with all that as well as cancer.

Just back from spa day and had a lovely day with welcome drink, water yoga, 3 course lunch, infinity pool outside, big pool inside, saunas, steam rooms, candlelight pool room, a treatment and nice for just DH and I to be together, relax and chat and celebrate anniversary. DH is off tomorrow as well which is lovely though we have lots of boring house type jobs.

PaperbackWrighter · 16/07/2025 11:34

@Remaker I'm so sorry about your DS's friend - that's awful. DS must be devastated. I hate how unfair life can be.

@ememem84 that sounds really hard with your DH acting like that. I think @TopOfTheCliff's advice is good re counselling. I started some myself recently which is helping me process everything around the cancer and tricky people in my life - not a DH. A friend who also had BC diagnosis last year was told by her DH during one of a series of huge rows post mastectomy and pre-chemo that the reason she had cancer was she was such an angry person. They've managed to mend stuff in their relationship since that, but I find it hard to be around him now.

My annual monitoring scan marathon continues. I had the mammogram 30 June, result last Thursday all clear (good news obvs but the same result when I had cancer last year). Proceeded to private breast MRI yesterday at local Nuffield. It lasted an hour! When I got up (dizzy with a squashed face!), the radiographer came in and said oh we were told you had implants so we gave you that version of a breast MRI, but you don't have them, do you know why they asked for an implant one? I said no idea, my GP referral letter doesn't say that and I never said that. When he discovered I'd had a lumpectomy he said, oh sometimes they put implants in with those so they must have requested it on that basis. I didn't bother to argue that that was a load of tosh. I said will it affect the results - 'not really'. Not really? 'Well you'll have even more images and more in-depth results.' So I suppose that's good but really I could have done without the extra stress, and I'm not exactly thrilled that I spent £589 to be sent for the wrong version of MRI for my breasts. Once I get the results (from my GP), I think I'll query anything with the breast radiologist on that basis.