Any other mums out there that have kids with allergies?

[Mamabear300]

It's as the title says really.

My DS is nearly 14 months and has allergies to Dairy, Wheat AND Gluten. We had abit of a scare a week or so ago as he managed to eat something containing all three and this resulted in going to the doctors then straight to hospital.

He is the first of my kids to have any sort of allergy like this so I'm quite new to this and learning more as I go along.

I guess I'm just wondering about a few things.

For example- has anyone who's got kids with allergies found that due to said allergies their child gets invited to less play dates, parties /outside of school activities?

For parties/ events they were invited to do you offer to provide the food for your child so you know its not cross contaminated / containing anything it shouldn't.

How did you manage at this age when they want to try everything and making sure they never ate what they shouldn't or in nursery / school environments.

Some of my questions may sound silly to some but these are things I've been thinking about so thought I'd reach out and see if anyone has any advice for me on the matter.

If you've got this far thanks for reading ☺️ x

Hello. My daughter is almost 16 now and yes this was and still is us.

my daughter still has a life threatening milk allergy, but has now grown out of her egg and gluten allegories (although gets tummy ache from too much gluten).

I was the helicopter parent at parties as her milk allergy was so severe. I took her food and stood over her to make sure she didn’t eat anything I hadn’t provided. She’s never been one to take food from people thankfully.

I think it’s actually got harder as she’s got older as I just went along to play dates and parties before. Now she generally doesn’t go along to things by her own choice.

most people do grow out of allergies so hopefully yours does

Anaphylaxis UK are good with advice and training on how to manage and not let it limit more than essential:

www.anaphylaxis.org.uk/living-with-serious-allergies/

It gets easier. It has never affected invites but I do take food to all parties. The trick is to make the food better than what everyone else gets, so I make my own cakes, freeze them and get one out for each party invite. Dc always prefer their special ones over the crap colin caterpillar at the party.

It's very likely your dc will grow out of allergies once the gut heals. My ds had to be top-8 free but can now tolerate everything but egg.

Yes; it’s a bit overwhelming in the beginning. Wheat/gluten/milk are common allergens and several countries have food labelling laws which require that they are declared. This is a very good thing and helps a lot.

DC was raised with an awareness of their condition (multiple food allergies) as we felt we wouldn’t always be there eg school so the next best thing was to ‘train them for the job’ and give ownership. We would send food to parties/sleepovers etc. Yes, there were some activities they couldn’t attend eg a party/cooking class but, on the whole, there are work around. As they grow into teens, it can be harder to be excluded from some things as eating is a social time.

i will always worry; that will never go away. But I am grateful as it’s something that can be largely managed and, for DC, the allergens are among those which must be declared. It takes some adjustments which seem a lot but do become second nature eg read labels in shop and before use.

Thankyou for your reply

It's so hard isn't it!

I've had many people trying to give him things to eat. Most are sensible and ask me first and the answer is usually a no.

I do carry his own snacks ect around with us incase he wants something anyway.

Due to the severity of his allergies and also members of family on hubbys side having particular severe allergies along with a few other factors, I've already been told that they don't expect him to grow out of it.

I think I'll take that approach myself if he's invited to things. It would put my mind at ease.

You say your daughter opts not to attend by choice, do you feel that this is because its easier for her not to with her severe allergy? or more I'm a teen and not one for going out much? I only ask as i've got one thats nearly 14 and she is a total home bird where as my tween is not.

Thankyou very much for the link!

I think thats something I do think about alot 'being limited'

My older DDs eat things and he gets so excited. With some items I can match it for a free from version. Other things I haven't been able to so try to deflect to other things I know he loves.

Thanks for your reply.

I'm stood litterally inspecting the ingredients in the shop reading then re reading I think people think I'm crackers 🤣.
It is scary. I think it also adds an extra fear when unfortunately sometimes 'mistakes' are made for example the young girl who ordered a soya hot chocolate and it wasn't soya. Her allergy was severe and she died!

I think i prefer to prep myself. It might sound silly I just don't want him to feel like the odd one out sort of thing.

As soon as I'm able to I think it would be a good idea to educate him on it .

I like that idea of baking and freezing his own little cakes thanks for the tip!

Its strange as I keep being told these allergies are becoming more and more common yet I have 3 kids ( teen, tween and my son) know many parents and not one of them has a child with allergies or insight on the subject but to be fair I think ignorance is bliss when its something that doesn't affect you or your family personally if that makes sense.

I've been told due to how severe he is plus other factors that the likelihood of him outgrowing the allergies is 0%.

I think the latest episode and hospitsl dash just 'spooked' and overwhelmed me abit. I can deal with the rash and the tummy ache side of things but when its also breathing being impacted its abit more intense. This feeling from me probably also feels more intense and also stems from my dad passing away in a pretty grim and sudden way a couple of years back.

@Mamabear300 yes, that was tragic. DC knows to always carry epi-pen everywhere and some antihistamine tablets and inhaler. Those minutes count. In over 15 years, there’s only been one severe reaction requiring a hospital visit; we are cautious when out and about. If there’s any doubt, don’t eat/drink it. Choose things that are packaged.

They can live a ‘normal’ life, with some rules in place for their health.

We are grateful that over the years, many of the allergies were outgrown, with only one severe one remaining. Didn’t think it would happen as it was by early teens. But, knowledge is power and, in knowing about the allergies, they can live healthy lives

My DD has coeliac disease (so not so scary as an allergy that could result in anaphylaxis but of course still have to avoid all gluten). Never been a problem for birthday parties because coeliac disease is well known and well understood in my country - I always offer to pack a bit of cake with her so they don't have to provide a gluten free cake but only once been taken up on that, every other time they've provided gluten free cake and made sure there was plenty of other gluten free foods she could eat. She was allergic to dairy and eggs when she was small but she outgrew those allergies before she started being invited to birthday parties so it never came up.

My DS is having a party tomorrow and for the first time we're getting a child with an allergy, to peanuts, so I've been very very carefully looking at the ingredients and may contains on all the food I'm getting for the party.

My kids also have coeliac disease and to be honest it's been a net positive in their lives. They now know how to check labels and honestly eat much healthier than before diagnosis. Never been a problem at parties as we just offer to bring similar food. Usually the hosts insist on catering for them.

The earlier they know the easier it is as they don't have to give up stuff they love. Mine love that they get a whole gluten free pizza to themselves at parties for instance!

It's very overwhelming at first but you'll quickly get the hang of it. Definitely don't worry about the social side - as long as you have a few favourite treats to swap out for whatever the other kids are having they are pretty happy.

Thankyou for your words of wisdom, I truly appreciate them. They really are scary events and I'm hoping we don't have any further ones like we did the other day. When we finally got home and everyone was in bed barring me and my hubby I sad and cried out of sheer shock and adrenaline wearing off from dealing with what happened.

I keep stocked up on antihistamine for him and we've yet to have further appointments about the rest.

Its really encouraging that yoyr DC outgrew one early teens so I will bare this in mind x

Yep, lots of allergies (life threatening, carries epi pens) for DS aged 5.

His school are very supportive and it helps that a few or the students have allergies.

Our new way of life is checking all labels, bringing food with us wherever we go, baking safe snacks etc.

It gets easier and easier and is 2nd nature now.

We've not noticed him being left out or getting less invites, as to be honest, most of the parents don't really get it. We come along, and say No thanks to any food offered. He's used to it, and we try to bring safe versions of the party food.

We found it important to be really transparent from day one and to teach him what he's allergic to and why he can't accept food from others. He's only 5, but he's very reliable now.

When younger, you just need to drill it into them, like you'd not let them eat paint or soil.
It's good to role play e.g. a cafe where the customers have allergies, and to read kids books about allergies.

We talk about it a lot e.g. every food shop we talk about what we're buying and why we're not buying the dairy version or whatever.

As it's always been the same for him, he's incredibly accepting of it all, at least for now.

Yes my eldest son has an allergy to tree nuts (pistachios and cashews) …. I was wary when he was younger and always provided a packed lunch for school and then just helped him choose from party foods etc.
i also didn’t feed him anything but based (but we did try “may contain” foods.

He is 15 now and does have some other nut based products (obviously none that contain pistachio and cashews)

My youngest had allergies to certain juices, sauces and jams that cause a skin reaction if they touch the skin around his mouth, he could ingest them and have no other issues.

He’s 7 now and seems to be growing out of it.

Thankyou for your response! I've got some really good responses here with some really good ideas and helpful advice.

I thought basically as it's all he's ever known he won't really know, no different. I agree, its sensible to decline food offers from others and provide our own. It's just not worth the risk when its serious allergies.

Its quite interesting that you say they generally eat healthier. My tween loves her fruit and veg ect so eats pretty good, my teen is the anti fruit and veg. But I've noticed that my son loves his fruit and veg and eats almost anything in that regard and isn't as picky as the other two. I don't deem this to be a bad thing and I do think good eating habits are important for all, it's something we've always tried to encourage with both girls.

My sons due to be tested for coeliac in a couple of months as they need to decide if it's just a bad allergy or coeliac as it obviously makes a difference.

It's nice to hear from you and others that parties ect haven't been an issue. I think I'd probably still want to provide my own for him without being rude to the host as I've got quite an anxiety about him accidentally being given something he shouldn't. Do you think this will lessen for me as he gets a little older when he's s actually able to tell me if he feels unwell off of something he's eaten?. ( I really hope this won't be happening many times btw)