Can anyone reassure this hypochondriac?

[patheticpenelope]

I've always been anxious and worried about my health - don't know why as I've never had anything really serioous wrong with me. Having children has made this wee anxiety far worse and I have some health hang-up almost every week now.

The latest....to get reassurance on this particular issue and to give you an idea how my mind works is this: I've been working alot on the computer this week and have been getting mild headaches and blurry eyed as a result. Thought I'd best get my eyes checked as havent for nearly 10 years and both my parents are shortsighted. Anyway, booked an appointment with optician. Then I heard about someone who had detached retinas and nearly lost their site so I googled it. So I now think my blurry vision could be that. Then I notice that diabetes can be a cause of detached retina plus I have a mild but uncommon skin condition (that flairs up very occasionally and is easily treated with a streoid cream)... and I remember the dermatologist saying ages ago that it's often seen in people with diabetes - so know I'm really thinking I have diabetes and detached retinas.

So, I have had a family recently so tons of blood tests, urine tests and withone pg about 2 years ago I had the Glucose tolerance test done and none of those things ever indicated diabetes.....is it possible that it could have been missed???? I know some will say go to the GPs and get tested but I'm always there. Last week I was having a mole checked because I watched a skin cancer programme and it panicked me. (mole ok btw).

Its like as soon as I have one issue cleared up I have a few days relaxing and then something else starts to worry me. I'm sat here in tears because I know the worry of having diabetes and detached retinas will keep me awake at night....I'm also worried about the state of my mental health with this issue but I can't not get it checked out because what if I do have a problem with diabetes and i ignore it.

I dont talk about my issues with DH anymore as I get on his nerves and annoy him constantly asking or reassurance. Sorry for venting on you everyone but I just need to get this out and I need someone to reassure me that its my mind playing tricks and not a health issue.

Hi Penelope, I'm sorry that you're feeling so stressed. As a GP, I think that you have an anxiety disorder focused on your health. This is quite common and responds very well to treatments like CBT. Please try to talk to your GP about it. He or she will have met other patients with this condition - it is nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about. If you don't think your particular GP will be sympathetic, talk to another GP at your practice. There is no need for you to be going through this sort of distress - there is help out there.

I understand exactly what you are going through Penelope as I have become very anxious about health issues since my ds was born {14 years ago}. I had some CBT sessions and they were quite useful - my thereapist actually said it was more to do with responsibility tham health phobias, in that since my ds was born I had become anxious about him getting ill and me missing it or me getting ill and not being able to care for him.

Definitely, as jybay suggested speak to your gp. But I have found over the years what tends to work for me is to make a gp appointment if I am worried about something and just doing that seems to help me not worry so much, as I am then actively dealing with the problem and I then try and shelve that particular worry until the day of the appointment and also try not to Google any of my symptoms.

Funnily enough I have had and in fact have at the moment,quite a few fairly serious health issues to deal with and cope reasonably well once they have been diagnosed - it is the uncertainty that I find much harder to deal with.

Do you think you're worried about something else at the moment? As a fellow hypochondriac I have realised that my health worries often co-incide with a period of stress or worry in my life.

I very very much doubt that you're ill at all but spending too much time at the computer can do odd things to you, esp if tired or worried.

WTIFT - good advice there, although I'm trying to keep away from the GP - done 5 months now which is a record for me since I've had children and it really lifts me that I've been able to do it, but I do see how being proactive about a health fear does help although often i've felt like i've been bothering them and wasting their time.

Also googling a health issue is a complete no-no. It always leads to something scary. I also have to keep away from articles about health or how someone has gone through a bad health trauma because I totally remember the symptoms and sure enough I start to present them after a while and I convince myself I'm dying.

I know what it's like though and I feel for you.

Oh, and I hide the Health topic too - I'm only here today due to DD's runny tum.

thanks so much for your kind messages....it's reassuring to know others have felt the same. I've been out for a walk and always seem much calmer when I'm busy.

I'll see what optician says about my eyes - I do think I may need some reading glasses but if it turns out to be anything else I'll go see my GP. Feel better now I have a plan. Honestly, I'm ridiculous.....before the mole trauma I had a very very small nosebleed, googled it and was convinced itmight be a liver problem or leukemia

I do think I have an anxiety disorder though. Can anyone tell me what CBT involves and if it would affect my job chances in the future?

yabbadabbadoo - you have described me perfectly. I totally avoid any womens magazines in the hairderssers etc because of the stories you get in there. I try so hard not to google because its always bad but I seem to need reassurance somehow.

I had my baby 6 mths ago and we have some financial difficulties so it may be that stress thats making this flare up again. Weirdly enough I had pre-eclampsia in my last pg and was very clam about it and the extra tests and things when normally I'd be freaking out.

So sorry you have to go through this as well and thanks for sharing your story.

patheticpenelope, I just wanted to add that I could have written your post myself! I can't tell you how many times I've "had" an illness - on various occasions over the years I've been checked for breast cancer, blood tests for leukemia or similar, brain scan (bad headaches convinced I had a tumour), skin cancer (two x moles checked), throat cancer (convinced about this but turned out to be a sore throat) and it goes on and on. I noticed it went beserk once I had kids as I'm so worried about not being around for them - I am a normally sane person and no-one would guess that I have this anxiety issue. Anyway, I did go to my GP and was referred to a counsellor who I went to a couple of times and it did help. To be honest, I just decided enough was enough and I stopped googling (my big downfall). I decided that I just wasn't going to focus on my health any more and somehow I've managed to keep on the straight and narrow for about 6 months now. It's a gradual process and I really have sympathy for you....
Hope you are feeling a bit better today!!