Please help I am having a total meltdown and its all really bad

[eenybeeny]

I have DS 20 months. I work 2 stupid nights a week as a waitress. I know loads of you work full time etc and have kids but I CAN NOT DO IT. I have so many health problems. I suffer terribly from migraines, have thyroid problems, and have some undiagnosed problem which almost cripples me. My GP is shit she isnt interested in anything and hasnt got a clue.

I am exhausted, I always feel like I am going to faint I just feel awful, physically. Emotionally I feel fine. But I cant cope. My job is so stressful and very physically draining its non stop running around and some of the people who run the place are very hostile to me. I just cant face it. But I dont know how we will cope without the several hundred £££ I bring in every month. I dont know what to do. I am supposed to work tonight and I just feel too WEAK. I dont know whats wrong with me.

Some women can do it all. It doesnt seem that I can. I can be my sons Mama and I cant do that and cope with a job as well. I dont know why. Please help.

Do you have a partner who can lend a hand?
Have you asked to see another doctor or get a second condition?
Can you get a different job?

I'm sorry i dont have any words of wisdom for you, but just know that you are not alone.

Can you not try another GP? There is something not right.

You sound exhausted, Most of us can't do it all.
Thats why I gave up work to be a SAHM but I know that we could just afford it with lots of budgetting, and that it is not an option for many.

DO you have support??

It sounds like it might be worth seeing another GP, if you can?

And defn worth looking for another job - however much you might feel you're fine emotionally, working in a hostile environment is really really draining. If you still feel like it's not viable for you to work, then you can really feel you've given it your best shot

I dont know what to do. My DH just got home and really thinks I need to go in and I feel like I am going to totally lose it. I so badly just want to be a SAHM but we just dont have enough money. I should be grateful I only have to work 2 days a week and I am but I still feel so ill.

I dont have any family around or friends who can help out that much. I am so upset. I feel so shit about myself right now.

How old are your children eeny? Could you be suffering from PND? I remember how ill I felt when I went back to work after my second child was born when I so didn't want to. Exhausted, teary, irritable. It took a year to get really bad, not instant at all.

Are you sure your thyroid problem is under control? What you say about being able to do one or the other - being a mum OR working, is so EXACTLY how I felt when I was struggling with underactive thyroid. I even left one job as I felt I was so utterly crap at it. With hindsight, I wasn't, at all; I just couldn't cope, didn't have the headspace.

So I totally know where you're coming from.

I have seen a different dr and got much better treatment so I definitely agree, see a different GP.

And definitely look for another job; I had to work, like you, didn't have the luxury of giving up but I do think something physically draining like waitressing must be exhausting in your current state. Even shop work might be easier, if you're at the till alot etc. Or admin work in an office...

good luck - definitely see a different dr; do you know what your current Thyroid level is at all?

Sorry. I see that LO is 20m. It could be PND. Do you think it might be?

oh and I think you need to see GP asap - tomorrow if you can and they will sign you off work I'm sure, you should get sick pay from work, and it would give you a week or two's breathing space.

I dont know what my thyroid level is my GP wont tell me. I hate her. She is awful. I dont know if its PND. I am so happy most of the time its work that freaks me out totally. I adore my son. I am TTC another child actually.

The thyroid problem isnt even being treated yet. She doesnt know what to do about it and wants to wait for a specialist appointment.

Am I imagining things, or did you post a while back about cvoming off ADs while TTC? If you have, that would explain some things (and you need to get to a sympathetic GO to investigate alternatives).

Don't see her - see another doctor at the practice and get them to tell you what your levels are.

If this was me I wouldn't try to conceive until I knew more about the health issues, and felt better about work; after all you have to work, and surely another baby would just compound your present difficulties? I'd make life easier on yourself for now but obviously that's just how I would do it.

Hope you're feeling ok. You have my number if you want to chat. I just sent youa funny email I got today, I hope it makes you smile

Thanks everyone. Yes I have recently come off AD's - maybe that was a mistake. I dont know. The thyroid thing is a nightmare. I just cant get any answers or in to see anyone. I will try again tomorrow though.

I went into work tonight. It was totally dead so I got sent home after 2 and a half hours which was great. But my boss called me a fucking idiot which was fairly typical. I feel I must point out I am not actually an idiot this woman is totally crazy and unreasonable.

Thanks a lot for being there for me. Purpleflower am checking me email now.

No wonder you feel ill if you have to work for someone who calls you a fucking idiot. Are there no other jobs around? Even waitressing in a different place? Work in a supermarket a few evenings a week?

yes I am going to start looking for other jobs ASAP. its just so hard because this job pays soooooo well - its one of the few places that let you keep your own tips and as I am a very nice person and good waitress I get very good tips. But you are right it isnt worth it. I am so fed up. I just feel awful. Well I feel better now knowing I dont have to be in til Friday but come Thursday I will start crying again. And by Friday I will be having panic attacks etc.

An employer that abuses you like that needs a good talking to at the very least, not that I'm suggesting you do so...sounds like she'd sack you for your nerve. I know how awful it is to work whilst your health is so bad. I have a dibilitating disease and prior to this career break, worked full time in an extremely stressful job, and as a single parent too. I feel for you, I really do.

I had an overactive thyroid whilst pg with Dd and it was awful. I empathise with you. Your Gp has surely got no right to withold any info on your health, I'd speak to or write to the practice manager if GP still not willing to give you the info you ask for.

thank you. I just dont know what to do. I will talk to DH and see about taking things further with the GP - you are right I would get sacked if I talked back to my boss at all. She is terrible. I am sorry you have health problems as well. And being a single parent. I dont know how I would cope. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I dont know if its just thyroid or what.

I know this is a different subject but I was wondering if anyone had any experience of this -

I have really bad sharp pain in my lower back and left groin/hip area which makes it hard to even move sometimes let alone walk. Its been getting really bad and constant lately. I am afraid to go to my GP about it because it is just so obvious she isnt interested and every time I go she makes me feel really dumb for asking an obvious question. I think it could be a trapped nerve or something I dont know.

Defo get your thyroid sorted. I had an undiagnosed underactive thyroid and I thought I was having a mental breakdown. Once you are on thyroxine you will feel a massive change mentally and physically. could you be signed off sick for a weeks whilst you get sorted??

Your underactive thyroid might be causing your joint pain.

really I didnt know the thyroid could affect joints. I could probably get signed off but my job doesnt pay sick pay.