feeling so very very tired all the time

[gingernutlover]

dd is now 2.5 and i had pnd when she was born, have been off th AD's since she was about18 months and have had ups and downs but lately seems to be all down

i am so tired all the time, its getting me down. the reason i ahev not posted this on the feeling depressed forum is because i do suspect it might not be depression causing the tiredness rather the tiredness making me feel down

but i cant really work out why i am so so tired all the time, rests (when i get them) seem to help very temporarily but then i am back to square one

i do work 3 days a week and look after dd the rest of the time, as dh is doing up the house at the moment, but when i look at how much sleep i get, it's not that bad so i am considering going to GP

our sex life is non existant, i am grouchy almost all the time, feeling fed up about work, snapping at dd and dh - basically feel i am doing a bit of a crap job at the moment

do worry that the gp will just assume i am still depressed and put me back on AD's which i dont think i want,

ask for blood tests.

could be something straightforward and easily treatable like anaemia or a thyroid problem.

thanks, i guess if i go in there with that in mind that might help, just worried about being written off as another post natal depression

in some ways i feel like i did with the pnd - the crying and constantly tired, but i dont have the energy that i had before,m i find it a real effort to go out and do thinsg with dd - even when she was tiny and i was in a bit of a state with the pnd i used to look forward to going to toddlersd etcnow everything seems too much

gingernutlover, you sound like me at the moment,only i didn't have pnd after having dd. for the last month or so, everything has seemed like a huge effort, i just cannot find the motivation to do anything. i am getting a reasonable amount of sleep (9hrs a night) but just feel so worn out. i have decided to go to the drs this week about it and hope to ask for blood tests.
good luck with finding out what's wrong.

hi olivo

sorry to hear you are feeling like this too, i am trying to decide whether to go to gp or not, i am just getting over a nasty bout of conjunctivitis which has followed hand foot and mouth diisease (both caught from nursery via dd) and wonder if i am just run down and maybe vitamins may help

You do sound rundown gingernutlover (oh how I love gingernuts) but- and I mean this in the nicest possible way- go to the blardy GP! If it is something like anaemia you may need a long course of iron, much more than is in over the counter vitamins. How's your diet? I think a really good diet is often much better than vitamins in the first instance.

Good luck olivo.

I'm going to bake some gingerbread in absence of any gingernuts in the ShowOfHands house. Damn these tempting posting names...

yum yum I love gingernuts too

I went to the dr with similar problem and a headache problem, anyway, my iron was low and I felt much better after taking iron. The dr gave me a general mot...loads of blood tests, found out I'm premenopausal too.

I think I did say to the dr I didn't think I was depressed.

If your dr is any good at all they'll find out what's wrong and not assume things.

I've been the same on and off since dd was born (including the PND and ADs earlier on). Even when I'm feeling good it takes just one bad night or cold to knock me straight back to square one.

Even if you're not anaemic, it's worth trying out a natural iron supplement like Spatone or Floradix - that makes a real difference to me when I'm down. And I was also recommended magnesium and vitamin B supplements as a natural energy lift - don't know if they work or not as I took so many other things at the same time, but worth a go.

hth

Hi gingernutlover

I was going to start a thread with exactly the same problem.

I have no energy whatsoever, i cant get out of bed some times, not because i dont want to but because i cant.

I have been to the docs about this and the doc said 'oh well your just tired because you have a child,just get more sleep'

I am interested to see how you get on, whether you go to GP or not. So keep posting

hi

well i went to the blardy gp! luckily i think, it was the lady that i saw when dd was first born, she has 2 lo's of her own adn works part time like i do.

she did mention the depression but also talked about being anaemic or just generally run down so has taken some blood (which dd thought was funny) and told me to go back to see her whatever the result is, so i think she is taking me seriously

i too get from everyone else that i am a mum with a 2 year old and i work so i should expect nothing more but somehow i'm not convinced

althoguh my mum had dd this weekend for 1 might and was knackered from just that - told me she thinks dd is very demanding, and thats somthing coming from my mum as she adores dd

anyway, nothing more to report really, maybe we should start a "on our knees the whole time" suppoort group

gingernut, do you do any regular exercise? (you may have just spat your tea at the screen having read that, muttering something about when do I get TIME!)

I was similar to yourself, had PND after my DT's were born, diagnosed well after they were one, a course of AD's and CBT councelling seems to have sorted me out. However, I did have periods of complete exhaustion, my get up and go had got up and gone. Now this was one of the hardest things I did, I started swimming. The first time is REALLY hard because you are so shattered, but it's a viscious circle, no exercise means no energy, possibly weight gain, meaning even less energy, no exercise and so the pattern continues. If you can break the cycle and go (I go in the evenings, just before boys bedtime, so DH has to deal, it's like getting REAL time off as well as the exercise)...you will start to feel better.

I have lost over half a stone into the bargain too, plus my sex drive has returned 10 fold and we are currently trying for baby 3!

hi meeely yes thanks for the tip about the exercise

i do hav gym membership but hate going - so bopring, they have a pool there too and i know i should go but i am so so so exhausted, i work 3 days a week and so cant go those days as there really is no timeafter i have got in ,. done dinner and out dd to bed then done paperwork

the days i dont work, she wonty go to the creche so cant go during the day and the evenings are the same, dinner time, bed time and then paper work from work

i am unhappy at work but i have to work we cant manage without, things have really hit the fan there at the moment as county have been in slagging us off (i work in a school) and boss is making us do all kinds of jumping through hoops and making us go in on days off unpaid for meetings which puts more pressure on the finances because dd's childcare costs a lot, especially if i am not getting paid while she is there

just fed up

ohy and weekends, dh is working on the house and i have dd all day

he will take her for mimited amounts of time if i really ask him too but then spends a lot of time telling me what he didnt get done that day because of looking after her - yeah, know that feeling!

Diet might help you here as well.

Do you eat a lot of refined carbohydrate - pasta, rice, bread and sugar?

Try cutting back on this, and drinking lots of water.

I would also suggest (sorry if this seems harsh) that your DD must go into the creche so that you can get some exercise. If nothing else, you could do with a bit of a break by the sounds of it! Why won't she go to the creche? What does she do when you're at work?

Hope that your GP can help - she sounds like she is listening to you at the very least.

It took us a long time as a family to settle into the routine we got - boys first born, DH would train on a tues and thursday, then a match on the Saturday (Rugby), on Sunday he found all sorts of invisible chores that needed to be done thus avoiding any childcare duties! (not saying your DH is avoiding anything, appreciate doing up a house is hard work) I went back to work full time when boys were 5 months old, and pretty much became a recloose (sp!) until they were 2 maybe more?

At 3 and a half, they are an absolute joy and funnily enough Dh now takes a real active role in looking after them (now the hard work is done!). He has always cooked so thats one evening chore i don't think about - I get in from work, throw the kids in the lounge, pick up my stuff and head to the pool. I get home about half 7, 8 ish, dinners ready - we eat and watch TV and go to bed. I wouldn't say I leap out of beds in the mornings but getting up is certainly easier these days!

thanks

dd goes to day nursery wehile i am at work, which she does love really but even now after 2 years there she has ups and downs, somtimes weeks and weeks of screaming every morning as i leave - they have to peel her off me!

she wont even look at the creche at the gym and i do worry that it would be just one more battle with her, epscially as she spends all day weds to fri away from me at nursery, feels like a cop pout to leave her at a creche just so i can exercise if you see what i mean

i have texted dh and asked him to help out tomorrow morning with taking her to nursery as i have to be at a course 30 mjiles in the other direction by half eight and he has said he is sure he will be able to help me out ( this secretly pisses me off cos its not strictly spekaing, helping me out, just being a parent)

i do feel he is a bit lazy, i am forever picking up after him and do all the housework, all the cooking and most of the childcare.

my diet is not fantastic but i wouldnt say it is completely dire, i do eat lots of fruit and salad and porridge every morning, try to avoid more than one helpiung of bread a day - but it could be better

dont mean to sound negative about dh i do appreciatre he is trying to make a lovely home for us to all live in but it seems that my life has completely dissapeared since i had dd - i work and i look after her, tyhats it. And he accuses me of doing things the hard way, eg making meals from scratch, doing things for my class at school which he doesnt think are necessary but its somehow okayu fro him spend a lot of time on the house, just seems like his life has not changed too much to be honest and that he does just help me out every now and then

when other people do help me out by having dd, it just doesnt seem to scratch the surface of the tiredness somehow, so no matter how much dh did do i cant see it would make a differene

eg my mum had dd for a night at the weekend and dh keeps saying, dont you feel refreshed etc etc but to be hoenest i just feel knackred still

My PND gave me such tiredness - I literally had pains in my legs as if I'd done a sponsored walk by 4pm every day.

The ADs gave me a different tiredness, but that's another story...

Maybe differnt ads would help if it is that?

hmmm maybe, but i have been off the AD's for a while, the other thing is that i am constantly getting ill, one thing after another so maybe that points to somthing other than PND - another underlying reason i am thinking, ah well we will see when the bloods come back

gingernut, a one off night off will not rechaarge your batteries, you need a bit of a life shake up so that your batteries don't need so much recharging.

I was nodding as I was reading your second to last post "just seems like his life has not changed too much to be honest and that he does just help me out every now and then"

That so rings true with me - we had these two bundles who took over our lives and to be fair to DH, he did EVERYTHING when they first came home from hospital (8 weeks in scbu). Then they became gradually more demanding and he became gradually more elusive. It all came to a head when i realised i worked as hard as he did, and I was still doing the early morning getting up at the weekends and he would surface about midday claiming we had made lots of noise so he couldn't sleep!

I have just realised we have turned this thread round from being "I am knackered, am I ill thread" to a "It's all your DH's fault" thread and that wasn't my intention - My point I think is that you need some time to yourself, REGULARLY and you should incorporate it into doing exercise too. My point is also, and I think you already agree with me, is you shouldn't be asking your DH to HELP, she is his child too, he isn't doing you a favour at all, it's just something he should be doing without batting an eyelid.

Without going into graphic detail, it came to a head with me and DH and after some drastic action on my part (talking wasn't working, he wasn't listening), we are now back on an even keel - he trains twice a week (no games now until september), I swim 2 or three times a week, he goes out with his mates once a week maybe and I do too.

This is gonna sound sickly, but I face each day with a smile now because theres things to be done, places to go, people to chat to and I have loads more energy. It's not longer the same old same old - it's very hard to muster energy in the mornings when you know it's going to be GET UP, FEED DC's, PLAY, NAP, FEED AGAIN, BATTLE OF WILLS OVER SOMETHING, FEED AGAIN, BATHTIME, BATTLE WILLS, BED, DINNER FOR DH, SLEEP.....

redadmiral, how did it get better by the way, are you off the AD's? how long?

Hi, Yes, nothing's clearcut, is it?

I had PND for 2 and 1/2 years without admitting that's what it was. My GP decided that the physical symptoms I was getting were due to depression - tiredness, cold sores (only had one once before in my life) and periods going haywire.

I felt better in lots of ways on the ads, and took them for 1 and 1/2 years. I have had some of the symptoms back recently, but haven't been eating well so who knows?

Am reducing ADs now actually and feeling less groggy. I'm optimistic that I'll feel ok now - we shall see.
SO, not a clear answer from me, but I do feel that depression did account for my original tiredness.

have just caught up with this one - gingernut, i'm glad your dr is taking you seriously.i have booked to go on thursday. you really could be me- i work in a school too and work isnt great right now. i also know where yuo're coming from about exercise; apart from taking dd swimming every week, my gym membership is sorely underused, i just can't find the time what wth the work i bring home from school and the time i want to spend with dd.
i took ADs for about 2 months in jan, v low dose and actually for IBS but they made me too dozy in the day; i do believe, however, they got me through a hard time despite being prescribed for something else.will be interested to hear how your bloods are, and desperately hoping that they won't just offer to sign me off 'for a rest'!

Gingernut, I know exactly how you feel. I thought I had PND and took AD's for a couple of weeks but they just made me worse, made me wake up 4 times a night. Even when DD was sleeping though (going through an unpredictable spell now) and I was getting at least 8 hours I would wake up feeling knackered.

I do have a thyroid problem but even on the thyroxine and with my levels apparently back to normal I still feel tired. The doctor just said "well, having a baby is tiring"

I have just gone back to work and am also seeing a therapist attached to the children's centre, just to off load a bit (and reassure me that I probably don't have PND - just a lot going on so no wonder I feel like shit!) which has helped. But the last few weeks I have had a cold I can't shake, body aches, mouth ulcers and still feel tired.

It does become a vicious cycle, and makes you irritable and impatient with then makes you feel guilty which makes thing even worse.

Like you I work 3 days a week, but can't afford to join a gym with a creche or I'd be at it like a shot!

Are there any activities that you could do that would wear DD out and keep you fit at the same time. Tennis or badminton perhaps? I know at 2.5 she couldn't do much but just the running around after her might get your metabolism going?

I'd be interested to hear what your blood tests say anyway. I am going back to the doctors on Friday as I am very run down and can't seem to shake this cold.

well gp has said that the bloods were normal so i have made appointment for next week, in the meantime i am taking mutivits, echinacia for a bit too and vitC and also making sure dh does a bit more with dd, will see how i feel i guess