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Parkinson’s Related Dementia

14 replies

RabbitsRock · 03/01/2025 20:51

My Mum has dementia with Lewy bodies connected to her Parkinson’s & has deteriorated mentally in the last few months. I wondered if anyone has experience of this & if so any ideas of how I can help my Mum. It’s mainly how to talk to her as she gets very confused & struggles to find the right words. My brother has done some research into family history & started conversations which have jogged Mum’s memory - she even remembered some things that we didn’t which was heartwarming.

OP posts:
RabbitsRock · 03/01/2025 21:25

Anyone?

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 03/01/2025 21:41

My stepfather had Lewy Bodies + Parkinson’s. When he started to show obvious signs of memory loss and loss of cognition, he also stopped speaking. This phase lasted about a year. During that time, DM would chat to him but not ask him direct questions and most definitely didn't ask him if he remembered X, Y and Z. He would enjoy looking at photos and ask who was who every time - even photos of himself.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 03/01/2025 21:44

Hi there.
The best advice I can give you is never to contradict anything she says.
If she says she wants to see her parents, tell her you'll drive her there in the morning. She won't remember this the next day, but you'll make her feel happy.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 03/01/2025 21:46

Do try not to ask questions.
Agree with everything she says.

QuirkyWriter · 03/01/2025 21:59

My dad had it and I’m sorry to say that it was a pretty quick decline. I would visit with my dd who was only a toddler and he got a lot of pleasure from seeing her, but thought she was me as a little one and I was my mum. I would just chat about what she had been up to, what I had been reading or watching on tv - vague details, so it didn’t confuse him. Asking questions is often quite distressing because they can’t remember the question or what they answer should be.
We would go and walk in the garden of the care home and I would talk about the birds I could hear and he would often tell me which ones they were because he had been a keen birdwatcher.

RabbitsRock · 03/01/2025 22:01

I so miss our chats. Everything is such a muddle - Mum sometimes starts off ok but soon loses the thread. I’m feeling so many emotions. When I got home after sitting with Mum today I was tired, irritable & worried about my Dad. He’s amazing but it’s getting too much for him.

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 03/01/2025 22:26

Do start looking at care homes.
It's better to have planned this well in advance.
Otherwise, you may find yourself scrambling to find one if an emergency arises.

RabbitsRock · 03/01/2025 22:27

Dad has been looking for care homes.

OP posts:
CoastalCalm · 03/01/2025 22:30

My dad had both but in some way thankfully he succumbed to urinary sepsis while he was still fairly lucid - he would fixate on things like a light visible out of the window that only he really noticed but his main episodes were linked to UTIs which you may need to keep an eye out for

Sending you a hug , it’s really fucking hard to see a loved one decline like that

RabbitsRock · 03/01/2025 22:39

CoastalCalm Mum has just had antibiotics for a UTI. She’s been prone to them for years actually - we reckon she’s had Parkinson’s for many years but went undiagnosed.

OP posts:
LolaCrapola · 03/01/2025 22:46

My mil has dementia and struggles with word finding difficulties. I find looking at photo albums is a good way to engage with her. My SIL will sit and watch tv with her as that reduces the pressure on mil to talk. I have worked with dementia patients and we would try to work on ‘failure free’ activities - something that isn’t about the end result but more about the process. I know your mums main diagnosis is Parkinson’s but the Alzheimer’s Society website has a wealth of information. They produce a template of a booklet called This is Me

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets/this-is-me

this can be filled in and used as a reminiscence prompt with your mum - with no pressure on her to read it. If she were to go into a home or hospital it may be useful to go with her so people looking after her can get to know her likes/dislikes, routines, etc xxx

This is me

'This is me' is a simple leaflet for anyone receiving professional care who is living with dementia or experiencing delirium or other communication difficulties.

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets/this-is-me

7catsisnotenough · 03/01/2025 23:11

Sorry to disagree @TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne, but asking questions can work really well in some cases. If DM says something bizarre about a house/ holiday/ whatever just say "Gosh, I don't remember that, what happened/what did we do there?" It allows them to remain in their reality without challenging them iyswim? Sometimes the things that get brought up are strong memories and allowing them to talk about them is comforting for them (and non confrontational for you) It's really difficult but try to accept that they have a different reality to you and roll with it - I've heard some interesting stories as a result!

7catsisnotenough · 03/01/2025 23:14

Regarding finding the right words maybe look at printing out some cards, similar to the ones for autistic people, so mum can pick a card for the word or at least head you in the right direction? Just a thought

Basketry · 04/01/2025 10:12

My mum had dementia with Lewy Bodies and died last month, just under 4 years after diagnosis. Hers progressed suddenly too. I think there had been signs of the dementia for quite a while beforehand but it took hold very dramatically and the decline was steep. Medication did really help in the first two years but less so after this.
Mum wasn’t talking much at all in the last few months but luckily the Parkinson’s symptoms weren’t too bad. Occasional freezing and a few falls but not much more than that. For the first couple of years we could have really good conversations about the past and I learned so much about her that I didn’t know before which is such a blessing now. I used Facebook to search for photos of where she lived as a child (the general area) and these were always good for discussion. I also found a Facebook group of her old schools and these were helpful too.

I echo other people about not correcting things. My dad used to almost ‘test’ Mum’s memory. He didn’t mean it unkindly but he’d say ‘do you know who this is?’ Do you know where she lives’ etc and I’ve had to tell him to stop all the time. I’m never quite sure why he was doing it but I think perhaps he desperately wanted her to say the right thing. He was amazing with her in every other way so I feel bad criticising him but it used to upset me.

I’d recommend looking for local day centres, support groups as these can be useful for both carer and caregiver. Make sure all benefits are being claimed (attendance allowance etc).

You mentioned looking at care homes. If you can, try and look at dementia specific homes as they are often more suited to LBD patients whose needs are often different from eg Alzheimer’s patients. My mum was not in a specialist place but on a dementia ward in a nursing home. They had two men there who also had LBD and it was weird looking at them as they were all so similar - constantly pacing around, picking things up that weren’t there, obvious hallucinations etc. We had to wait a while for a place as they weren’t sure they could cope with another LBD patient as I think they were perceived by the home as having higher needs.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s such an awful condition and so hard on everyone. In the end, I was grateful for Mum’s rapid decline. I couldn’t bear the thought of her being in a care home for years and years, with no quality of life. She was there for about 6 months but then got pneumonia. I wish you all the best OP. Feel free to ask any questions.

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