Colorectal cancer stage 4 - any advice, experience of, help - please

[Nonentitynumpty]

Am taking a deep breath before I write. Close family member has just been diagnosed with this cancer, stage 4. They are the type of person that will never complain, so I have no particular knowledge details or background to go on.

Needless to say we're all gutted, but if anyone has any experience of / advice please add a message. Our beloved will be having chemo next week (too advanced for surgery).

Thank you.

My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer 5 years ago. At the time it was palliative treatment only but since then he has been through many ups and downs and see sawed between palliative and curable.
It spread to his liver which is where is his suffering the most problems now as that is the area that keeps coming back.

After 60+ rounds of chemo, radiotherapy and countless operations he is still going strong, although I think the hardest part for him has been more of the mental health side of things and dealing with an ileostomy rather than the actual treatment itself. You do get into a routine with chemo and understand the limits of when it's best to arrange to do things to keep living and enjoying life and when to expect things to not be great. I do think age plays into a big factor with chemo.

My main advice is to if possible - try to get your family member talking rather than bottling it up (which my husband does) and don't be afraid to get help and talk to someone yourself. After 5 years, that's what I am now doing, mainly because my husband is mentally in a bad place after refusing to talk about it and deal with it properly for so long.

@bookwormcrazy

Thanks for sharing your story, it means a lot and is very helpful. I'll be seeing him (and family) over Christmas and want to be a helpful presence rather than a hindering one. I've been looking at Cancer Research UK regarding how to support family and will try to take on their advice (to the best of my ability).

Have a look at MacMillan as well. They have been with us every step of the way and I find their support invaluable. They have a forum space as well for family supporting someone going through cancer.

Yes, I had forgotten about MacMillan - thanks again. I hope you're able to cope with the situation you find yourself in ... I'm so sorry.

You find ways of coping because you have to and need to be strong for your loved one.

The important thing is to take each week/ month/ treatment cycle as it comes.