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Original poster

Feeling hopeless about reducing stress/anxiety - causing health issues

28 replies

Godfreydahling · 18/12/2024 17:47

I have multiple health issues that are being investigated, looking mainly at autoimmune causes or stress. I also have erosive duodenitis and have been in constant pain with it for 6 months despite doing all the lifestyle changes and taking meds. The two consultants I've seen (gastro and rheumatology) both say I need to reduce my stress and anxiety levels for the sake of my health. But the anxiety comes from the various health issues I have and also stress from life things.

I've tried exercise, yoga, therapy, CBT, trauma therapy and EDMR, hypnosis, relaxation and breathing exercises, have a healthy diet, no caffeine, no alcohol, am slim etc. I take a few different supplements including ashwaganda which I think helps a little. Am on beta blockers for tachycardia.

I work from home. It is a bit stressful as my manager is hopeless and I end up doing his job but on the whole it's not too bad. DD has just gone to uni and I've been a bit depressed and missing her so that hasn't helped. DH is mainly supportive but gets frustrated with me when I'm anxious as he doesn't know how to "fix" me and I don't want to moan about my health issues to him all the time so I just keep it all to myself and feel lonely and overwhelmed. I have friends but they're all quite busy, as am I, and I find some of them can be draining rather than supportive!

Basically, I'm asking what can I do to reduce stress and anxiety that I haven't already tried. I can't take anxiety meds because of my health issues. I don't know if taking time off work would help. Even the thought of going on holiday somewhere warm for a month doesn't feel like it would help because I would still be taking my health issues and anxiety about them along with me! And sadness about missing DD.

I just feel hopeless that I'm ever going to feel better. It's a vicious cycle of stress and anxiety making my health worse and then this causes more stress and anxiety. I'm despairing of ever feeling better.

OP posts:
OddBallNumber5 · 19/12/2024 09:04

Godfreydahling · 18/12/2024 17:47

I have multiple health issues that are being investigated, looking mainly at autoimmune causes or stress. I also have erosive duodenitis and have been in constant pain with it for 6 months despite doing all the lifestyle changes and taking meds. The two consultants I've seen (gastro and rheumatology) both say I need to reduce my stress and anxiety levels for the sake of my health. But the anxiety comes from the various health issues I have and also stress from life things.

I've tried exercise, yoga, therapy, CBT, trauma therapy and EDMR, hypnosis, relaxation and breathing exercises, have a healthy diet, no caffeine, no alcohol, am slim etc. I take a few different supplements including ashwaganda which I think helps a little. Am on beta blockers for tachycardia.

I work from home. It is a bit stressful as my manager is hopeless and I end up doing his job but on the whole it's not too bad. DD has just gone to uni and I've been a bit depressed and missing her so that hasn't helped. DH is mainly supportive but gets frustrated with me when I'm anxious as he doesn't know how to "fix" me and I don't want to moan about my health issues to him all the time so I just keep it all to myself and feel lonely and overwhelmed. I have friends but they're all quite busy, as am I, and I find some of them can be draining rather than supportive!

Basically, I'm asking what can I do to reduce stress and anxiety that I haven't already tried. I can't take anxiety meds because of my health issues. I don't know if taking time off work would help. Even the thought of going on holiday somewhere warm for a month doesn't feel like it would help because I would still be taking my health issues and anxiety about them along with me! And sadness about missing DD.

I just feel hopeless that I'm ever going to feel better. It's a vicious cycle of stress and anxiety making my health worse and then this causes more stress and anxiety. I'm despairing of ever feeling better.

Hi OP, apart from the medical issues, I too am really struggling with anxiety at the moment and could have written most of your post. Have no words of wisdom but just wanted to say hi.

Sussurations · 19/12/2024 09:08

SensibleSigma · 18/12/2024 23:40

The list of things you’ve tried sounds a bit like ‘things you’ve done’.

I think you may need a change of attitude rather than another treatment regime.

Have you thought about being kind to yourself? As in, treating yourself as though you are a special, precious person (which you are) who needs to be cherished. I ‘reparented’ myself. Treated myself as a toddler- regular sleep schedule, food, naps, treats. Spoiling myself with a posh candle/hand cream whatever.

I stopped beating myself up for being broken, lazy, unfit, undisciplined, bad at yoga etc and started being nice to myself.
If I can’t be bothered to do something, I reframe it as conserving my energy for other things. If I comfort eat, I congratulate myself on self care, having identified a need and sought to self soothe.

It’s a refreshing change and I’m much less anxious now I’ve stopped berating myself for failing at being superwoman.

This is a brilliant response. Since letting up on myself just a little bit I’ve got so much more energy for me. And I’ve suddenly discovered what seems to be an absolute passion for exercise. That is just an example - Im not saying exercise is the answer, just that when I started being able to think about what I wanted to do, that’s what happened! And it might go away again and that’s okay! I do lots of stuff like you, OP, and i need to - it’s all good - but self-compassion is absolutely key. Be gentle with yourself. I can recommend the work of Claire Weekes for anxiety (preferably on audiobook) and I’ve just started Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker, for CPTSD. For pain, you may find breathing techniques helpful, I use the Nerva app, but you may not - I realise your health issues are ‘real’ ie physical. Be kind to yourself.

fishyrumour · 19/12/2024 09:34

Pete Walker is wonderful!

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