FASD? Help

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I feel like the worst parent ever. I got pregnant when I was 18. I didn’t find out until July (2019) and was due 27th December. I would go out drinking 1-2 nights on the weekend with my friends. I could never drink much as I would get drunk quickly, however I definitely consumed alcohol.

i did mention this at booking with my midwife and to my health visitor at the time, but no one mentioned any possibility of fasd or to look out for it. As well as this I was given codeine when I was pregnant but didn’t take it regular. But I had severe pains and was given as nothing else could manage it. But I kept feeling guilty every time I took it, so It wasn’t much.

i saw a TikTok about fasd. My son definitely has small eye openings. The cupids bow is 50/50, I wouldn’t say he has thin lips, but sometimes it goes thinner when he smiles etc. Me and his dad both have autism and adhd. So this whole time, my son not listening etc, and other difficulties may be due to that. I’ve been up all night feeling so guilty as I’m worried in case I’ve given my son fasd.

weve got a drs appointment next week (this was before I saw about fasd) and I will mention it then. But I don’t know what to do, think. Anything. I’m a bit of a mess. I’m going to call his school when I wake up, and maybe his old nursery for support and their thinking. I just feel like my son is going to hate me when he grows up if he has it. I feel like the worst parent ever, I just didn’t know I was pregnant but I immediately stopped when I got a positive test

His lips stretch, and that's why they go thinner when he smiles. Fasd is caused by heavily drinking in pregnancy. You didn't drink heavily when you went out and you stopped quickly.

Being AUDHD really lets those anxieties stick. I get it. Don't let this one consume you. Your GP will reassure you.

Kindly (and I get it - I have a friend whose son has FASD and I am autistic), I think you are getting fixated here! Your son is your son is your son. He will be who he is meant to be. FASD is not common, and requires seriously heavy drinking to cause it. Get outside today and breathe. I'm sure your GP will reassure you - really no need to contact schools etc.

Why would you contact his school about this? Surely that would just cause trouble for you? I really don't think you should do that.

I was 16/17 weeks when I found out I was pregnant. Some weeks I would drink 1-2 nights. Then miss a week then be out 3 nights for bank holiday. The town I drink in, is same price for doubles as it is singles. His facial features match it a tiny bit. But I don’t know if I’m getting confused with adhd especially because me and his dad have it

Thank you I really needed to hear this. It’s his 5th birthday on Sunday too so I’m feeling so overwhelmed. Me and his dad have spilt and he has a new girlfriend and she isn’t my biggest fan (I know she doesn’t need to be) but she’s really picked apart some personal things about me. So just feeling awful today

I don’t know I’m just worried in case they think he’s ‘naughty’ when he can’t help how he is :( especially if I gave him fasd, but unsure if it’s autism and adhd as me ans his dad have it

I doubt he has it. It is quite rare and I believe that you have to drink excessively in pregnancy. I have seen these TikToks aswell, they are generally nonsense, they look at celebrities with thin lips and decide that they have it ! It is bs.

At 5, it would be difficult to get a diagnosis - they generally happen after the age of 6 (similar to ADHD) as many of the symptoms like the not listening can be natural developmental. Your GP will hopefully be able to walk you through that process, though may refer to someone else - it's considered a fairly niche area.

While it is unlikely, FASD isn't rare - 2-4% of the British population are affected by FASD, making is as to twice as common as autism - https://nationalfasd.org.uk/about-fasd/what-is-fasd/ (I've seen reports listing as high as 3-6%, there is a lot of regional variation).

It is a myth that it requires heavy drinking, largely brought on by the fact it would be unethical to research to find any real limit. It's a roll of the dice with any alcohol, with more alcohol meaning taking more of those rolls so is more likely if there is regular heavy drinking, but it's not required.

Also, less than 10% of those with FASD have the facial features, they aren't used diagnostically in most situation, so try not to focus on that. They would be looking a varying rates of development and sensory issues compared to the norm and will be actively excluding other potential causes if those variations are present. Many developmental conditions overlap in how they present, especially at a young age so most likely, any concerns aren't FASD, and even if it is, there are options available these days to support children and adults with FASD.