Friend with incontenence - I need to talk to her

[callmeovercautious]

A friend from Post natal has an ongoing problem with her pelvic floor. She has talked to me about it before, she joked about tenna lady and said she really must see the GP.

This was months ago. The DC are nearly 2 now and I just assumed she had been to get it looked at.

However over the last 2 or 3 weeks I have noticed a slight smell of Urine when we sit next to each other. How can I gently discuss it with her? I would want someone to tell me. Or perhaps she knows and me putting my big foot in it would only make things worse?

Be honest.

I wouldn't mention the smell, tbh.

But it might be worth talking to her about it generally, if you could. I have a friend who is a pelvic floor phyio, and she says nearly all these problems can be fixed without surgery.

Are you sure its coming from her and not that she is potty-training her DC?

Could you "invent" a friend or obscure relative and make out she was having pelvic floor trouble and ask your post natal group friend for advice on how she solved her problem? At least you can discuss the topic objectively then, and bring it round to her if she feels the need.

what on earth is telling her she smells of wee going ot do to help the situation? She will be well aware of her problem and is no doubt really emabarassed about it. I'd keep quiet

Just to say as well, that after I gave birth to DS 8 mths ago, I suffered the same problem. I talked about it to my friends and joked about being a 'tena-lady' ... but it didn't mean that I was OK with it. Inside, I was scared stiff and it consumed my life as I was devastated at the prospect of having being incontinent for the rest of life. Thankfully, it cleared within a couple of months and its nearly back to normal now. But if any of my friends whom I have been opened with and joked to, have taken the liberty to speak to me about it, I would be crushed. It would have knocked what's left of my confidence.

My guess is, its a condition that is not easy to ignore or get used to easily, so your friend must be acutely aware that she is leaking smells and I think it would not help her if you brought it up.

It would be ok to ask her how her condition was, but not to point out that she smells.

Thanks - I will keep my big mouth shut then. Like greenday I had a problem early on which resolved through exercise. Perhaps I will ask her how it is going and see where it takes us.