Intense stomach pain PLEASE HELP

[Rose559]

My fiancé has been ill for as long as we remember, probably the last 5-6 years. He has had so many tests and they cannot find a cause, we have another doctor’s appointment today and I was wondering if anyone had experienced similar and if there’s anything specific to ask for. He can’t go on like this much longer, it’s obviously getting to him and affecting us as a couple/family too because he’s snappy and angry because he’s in pain.

He has intense pain in his stomach constantly, he cannot have any weight put on his stomach and he’s in excruciating pain, he feels sick from the moment he wakes up in the morning, he’s gassy/bloated, has a really low immune system and catches everything so constantly has coughs/colds.

He’s had gullbladder scans, camera into his stomach, various blood tests (although not testing for anything specifically). Toilet habits are completely normal so they haven’t tested anything related to bowels.

He had appendicitis a year ago and had his appendix out and ended up with blood clots on both lungs a year ago. Hasn’t really recovered from that.

I’m hoping there’s someone that’s experienced similar, just an idea of what to ask for as the doctors today? I’m going with him just to help advocate as he feels he’s not being taken seriously.

Is he taking any responsibility for his own health? This would push me to the edge of sympathy.

he’s scoffing pot noodles and other such crap whenever the OP isn’t spoon feeding him something healthier

How's his job. Stressful?

I'm willing to bet that if he makes changes to his lifestyle and job he will improve.

How's it go OP? What did the doc say?

You've literally said that he has reflux multiple times on this thread.

@Rose559 has the patience of a saint. She's cooking nutritious food from scratch for him. Then he scoffs junk food at work.

It's like a child eating all their Easter eggs/Halloween stash and being ill.

I'd have lost it by now.

what pisses me off is the amount of time and money he’s absorbed from the NHS!

Just catching up! This is why I’ve wanted to go to the doctors with him because I’m completely confused what’s happening and he doesn’t seem to know either! I don’t want to feel like his Mum but also want to help? He’s eating “normal” for the time being as I don’t want to confused anything before testing and then we’ll (he’ll) try all of this thank you!

He’s gone to the doctor soooo many times by himself (probably 2-3 times a year for 5 years) and not getting anywhere. One minute he tells me one thing and the next it’s the opposite. He doesn’t know why he’s taking tablets, why he’s not taking tablets, what things have been prescribed for or anything. I’m finding it really hard to help him when I have no idea what’s happening! (And he doesn’t either…)

This is where I am. I’m finding it really hard to support when he’s not helping himself.

Ended up being a stand in doctor so they called before the appointment and recommended blood tests (this Thursday), given him new tablets which he hasn’t collected or asked what they’re for so I’m none the wiser on that and we’ve been booked again in for a chat next Thursday. I’m finding it very difficult at this point to provide the support I should do as a partner as becoming increasingly aware that his actions are likely not to be helping the situation. We have 2 young children and if it were me I’d been trying everything in my power to make sure I’m the best version of myself for them (I do). We’ve been very distant with each other since last week.

Really appreciate everyone’s help, advice and support on here! Will update soon x

Oh, @Rose559 I could not be arsed with all this

I don’t understand why in 5 years he hasn’t had a CT. The doctor needs to look with a fresh pair of eyes. Ideally he should have a triple phase CT to look at the arteries and vein in the gut given his history of pulmonary embolus.
The other possibility is that he has adhesions ( scar tissue) following the appendicectomy. This is often tricky to diagnose. He would have to have a CT done at the time of a bout of pain when it might show a distended loop or bowel.

I’m surprised that they have stopped the omeprazole if he has a recent of stomach ulcer and h pylori . It is protective even if he doesn't get relief.
He is not taking ibuprofen or voltarol for pain is he ??

Thank you. He had a CT scan when he had blood clots in his lungs so I don’t know if they looked at anything else. He’s been told not to take ibuprofen due to history of stomach ulcers. I haven’t heard of the other. He does take cocodamal when needed. He’s been prescribed some tablets this week but doesn’t know what for or what they are… so I’ll know more about those once he collects them from his doctor.

It sounds as if he really isn't capable of understanding/ processing/ following instructions. You will never get on top of this if you don't go with him every single time and take notes, supervise etc. Perhaps you need to register as his carer, or get him to sign a letter of permission to share his medical information to give to the gp.

Mm.. how desirable this sounds 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

I am amazed he doesn't understand what the tablets are for or what they are. Surely the doctor would have told him? Make sure you read the leaflet in the box fully and carefully. I think a lot of this is complete inability to comprehend and follow instructions. Yes there are rare conditions that should be ruled out, but this is all such a muddle it would be difficult for anyone to go back and clarify the history.

Indeed. But OP cares about him and obviously wants to help. So.

That's good he's getting bloods. It's a start.

Is there a reason he's not collected his medication? Is it difficult to get to the GP (or the chemist if they pick up the prescription and get it ready for collection) or is he just being lazy or not convinced it's worth the extra journey as they won't work?

I've been desperate for help with medical conditions and I've moved heaven and earth to get the meds the minute I can so I don't understand how he's in so much pain one minute and not bothering his arse the next.

I think there is more to this. Perhaps depression or something? Feeling unworthy. Or just worn down from pain. Who knows.

Honestly, after he's had his bloods done I'd be having a chat with him to say you're concerned about him not being well and not really dealing with diet and medication in an effective way and what's he intending to do going forward as things need to change.

And if he doesn't plan on looking after his own health I think I'd be off.

He needs to be fit to pull his weight around the house with the children etc. Not bothering with self care will impact on that.

Poor guy, I really feel for him and for you OP. If he has been suffering these issues over the years I would be very surprised if he wasn't suffering also from elements of depression and health anxiety, this can make it difficult to concentrate and take in information, and also make all his physical ailments worse. It might also make him stressed about appointments and want to avoid them. So it is good that you are helping with this. He needs to make a concise bullet point list of his previous medical issues that you have mentioned and all his current symptoms to read out or hand to the doctor so he doesn't forget. He should also be upfront with the Dr that he finds it hard to process medical information and wants to write it down, there's no shame in that, I find some doctors just rattle off information as they try and get rid of you asap and sometimes what they say goes in one ear and out the other. I hope for both of you that he can get these issues sorted soon.

Many people suffer depression with complex health issues. We do, however, listen to our GP and take the meds.

@Rose559 only has his word for it that the GP discontinued his omeprazole.

There's something else going on here in her husband's mind I suspect.

"Overview - Munchausen syndrome - NHS" https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/munchausen-syndrome/overview/

I think you might be better off going to a private GP and paying initially for them to give you a list of things you need to check off (including specialist referrals) Then use that letter as a hammer to beat your NHS GP with.

They shouldn't but most NHS GPs will automatically refer you to specialists if you come with a private GP referral recommendation.

I know. It’s totally wrong. I don’t understand at all why he’s not researching it, doing a good food shop and making/batch cooking meals. I certainly would be. He tells ME he wants to eat healthily/no sugar etc etc but then expects me to act on that instead of him. I make the meals, the meals are healthy, always have been but I can’t control what he snacks on when he’s not home 🥴

I think I have permission from when he was in hospital the first time. We were at A&E when I was 1 day overdue with my second baby and I had to wheel him there myself. It’s so traumatising remembering it all. I’ll have a good talk with him about everything because I’m suffering from pretty bad PND at the moment and I know all of this isn’t helping. Thank you.