Lumpy boob anxiety

[Ljr82]

Hi. I'm just hoping for a bit of advice and hopefully reassurance. I'm 42 and have been to the GP and referred three times already to the breast clinic over the last four years. I was last at the clinic in July over a tiny hard lump and had exam, mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy. Was benign-fat necrosis.
This morning i did my first self exam since the breast clinic in the summer. I've got another tiny lump. The thing is I don't know if it was there when I had all the tests done in the summer. I have to really dig in with my fingertips to find it which the breast nurse specifically said not to do as you always find lumps this way. And I have! My boobs are really lumpy and grainy so it's hard for me to know my 'normal ' even though this lump does feel harder than the others but it's so small it's hard to tell. I just don't know what to do. I've got so much anxiety about going to the GP about another breast issue when I've only just had all the tests a few months ago, I'm so embarrassed. I've even thought about paying private to have a breast exam to check everything is OK just to set my mind at rest. Part of me is saying not to worry about it as if I had any other worrying lumps it would have been picked up in July. I know I would have to be extremely unlucky to have developed breast cancer in the few months since.
I have constant anxiety about everything, it's one thing after another and I'm exhausted feeling like this. That's another thing I need help with.
I don't really know what I'm asking, just hoping someone can help settle my mind as I don't feel I can talk to my partner about it.

I’m sorry you are worried. It’s exhausting.

Are you on an enhanced screening programme due to increased risk factors?

Thanks for replying. No I'm not. The first time I got referred because it was when I first started checking my breasts and they felt lumpy all over to me and I didn't know if it was normal so went to the GP and she just referred me. Second time I had a random nipple leak and got referred again. Everything fine again. Third time was when I found a lump that was hard compared to the other lumps. That was when I had all the tests. Then I found this other one today. But it might have been there before and I didn't notice its that small. I'm more anxious about the anxiety I'll feel rather than the lump itself if that makes sense. I just can't stop worrying about everything and anything.

Back to the GP then? Could you ask them to check if this area was of concern in previous exams to put your mind at ease.

If you feel generally more anxious about the anxiety this may be worth a chat too

The mammogram showed all normal breast tissue everywhere except for the area of fat necrosis which is nowhere near this bit I'm now worried about. It's hard for me to know what lumps are new or if they've changed. I do remember the nurse saying something like it's normal for some women to have lumpy breasts and some of the lumps feel harder just because they are deeper in. Deep down I don't think I need to worry about it, the real problem I know is my anxiety spiralling again. I really don't want to take medication for it but there's massive waiting lists for counselling. I just want the old me back who didn't constantly feel worried about something every minute of the day

You go back and ask for another referral. I was in and out of the breast clinic for years with all results being benign until they weren't. I'm approaching five years since my diagnosis and fingers crossed, all is well I think. Go back.

Sorry to hear you had to go through that but pleased to hear you've been well for the past five years. I think I'm going to make an appointment with the GP about my anxiety and say part of it is constantly checking for lumps and worrying about it. Hopefully he will put my mind at rest. It sounds ridiculous but I just feel so embarrassed about going to the doctor about it again when I've only just had the all clear. Or I've seen online I can pay private to see a breast doctor and have an examination if I really can't face going back to my GP. I think I'll give it a few weeks and see if it goes after my period then have another check myself. I've poked amd prodded that much today I've made myself sore

It is difficult picking out what is just lumpy and what is a growth.
There are apps available that allow you to map out the normal contours of your breast and record any lumps.
The main difference between a lump and A LUMP is that the scary ones don’t really move about.
I noticed mine while showering, it was only really obvious when I was using soap/shower gel and it was more obvious with a light touch. My sister was the same. So I now do my examination in the shower.
If you are at risk due to family history you can be referred to a family clinic where they see you every year to examine you and may do a yearly mammogram. I attended one from 37-45 then once I got to 50 had 3 yearly screening. It was just before my third screening post 50 that I found my lump which was confirmed at mammogram. Because I had a long series of mammograms it was easy to spot it.
If you have had several mammograms they will use them to compare with the latest one to look for changes. My lump was not present at 53 but my screening was delayed by Covid so would have been picked up at a much earlier stage if it had been done a year earlier when my mammogram was due.
Fortunately it hadn’t spread and so far I remain clear.
See your GP to discuss your health anxiety. Repeated mammograms are not indicated due to the risk of radiation. Which is why they are done yearly or 3 yearly. I think that you need to discuss why you are so worried about breast cancer and maybe cut down self examinations to once a month as advised.

Thank you so much that's really good advice. I'm not at high risk and I've a really big extended family and no breast cancer with any blood relatives. It's not an obvious lump at all and it moves about, its that small it's hard to find sometimes, like grain of rice size. I feel mad with myself for even checking because I knew I wouldn't stop prodding about until I found something to worry about. But that's health anxiety I suppose. My mum knows how much I struggle with anxiety and I've told her about it all. She suggested to try not worry about it cos everything has all been checked a few months ago but because its hard for me to self exam as I can't keep track of what lumps are new/different, to pay for a yearly or every other year breast screening mammogram until I'm old enough for the nhs ones.
I'm pleased to hear you are doing well health wise now.