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Original poster

Terrified of results

24 replies

waitinggame · 07/01/2005 15:15

I posted many months ago about a terrible mistake I made. I had a one night stand with a stranger whilst I was having a very very troubled time with my dh.

We managed to get ourselves back on track and I am now expecting a baby.

However, I have had the routine blood test that the midwife offers for HIV and I'm terrified of what the result will be.

I know I don't deserve any sympathy but I am going out of my mind with worry.

I keep wondering if the surgery would have contacted me if the test had come back positive or would they just leave it for my next appointment.

I haven't told anyone about what happened so I can't share my fears with anyone - I feel like they are consuming me and I'm going to explode.

Please help.

OP posts:
amynnixmum · 07/01/2005 15:16

OMG poor you. Did they give you an idea of how long the results would take?

noddyholder · 07/01/2005 15:17

How long ago did you have the test?I am sure they would let you know if anything was wrong Can you ring them to check Anyone would be worried and they will put your mind at rest

MrsBigD · 07/01/2005 15:18

waitinggame - first question... did you use 'protection' when you had your 'mistake'?

if yes then I believe chances are relatively slim that you might have caught something.

As for the HIV screening. I don't know whether they'd contact you as mine were negative both times, but I suppose they would to make sure all the necessary treatments can be done. When my afp results came back too hight they called me the moment the consultant had seen them. So I think they would contact you.

How long ago was the test done?

DillyDally · 07/01/2005 15:18

It is a worrying time..when I had my first HIV test, they told me they could not give a result over the phone. however, if something had been wrong, then I thought you would be likely to get a call asking you to come in. I think it also depends on the area you live in unfortunately. fingers crossed.

mardynow · 07/01/2005 15:18

The surgery would definatly have contacted you, they wouldn't risk you going round having unproteced sex if you were HIV positive, if you feel uncomfortable, make an appointment to discuss it.

HTH

tiredemma · 07/01/2005 15:18

they would of contacted you if there was anyhting untoward with your results- you wouldnt just go to the clinic for them to say "oh by the way your test results are positive'

dont worry- i felt the same when i was waiting for mine as i was "wild" before i met dp and he was no angel- i asked midwife what the procedure was and she said you would be contacted and councilled rather than just blurting it out at antenatal.

dont worry x

beansprout · 07/01/2005 15:19

Waiting game - so sorry, this is very hard. I had an ex contact me and tell me he was HIV. I had to be tested and so I know how you feel. Fact is though, HIV is not that easy to pass on, so if it was just the once, even if he is +ve, then it doesn't follow that you will be.

If it were me, I would contact them and ask as the waiting is clearly awful for you. If you are, you will need to have discussions re the baby so perhaps it would best to know?

So sorry this is happening. Very best wishes to you.

moondog · 07/01/2005 15:19

FWIW the chances of you having HIV are vvvvvvvv remote...

DillyDally · 07/01/2005 15:21

I can definitely say they will not tell you over the phone (they lost my first HIV test result and I had to wait for two months before I found out - though i had no reason to suspect anything so it wasn't too bad)

aloha · 07/01/2005 15:23

Oh, poor you WG. Can I just tell you that EVERYBODY I know felt like this about the HIV test... even happily, faithfully married for ten years people. It's just a scary thing and lots of people have admitted on MN to having sleepless nights over this test, esp with all the hormones sloshing about. The day I had it, I burst into tears in Sainsbury's! But honestly, your chances of having HIV are so utterly, utterly miniscule I can't tell you. It's vanishingly rare in non-drug injecting women in Britain. All the scary stats you see about women with HIV are really to do with African women who were infected in Africa. That's not me being complacent, it really is the truth. They would contact you if it came back positive, but I promise, it won't (when did you have it?). And the feeling when you realise you don't have HIV for sure (or any other nasties) is rather wonderful IME. You feel all new and shiny! Please, please try not to worry.

bonniej · 07/01/2005 15:24

I'm sure you would have been contacted if there were anything wrong. I think guilt has made you worry so much about this and you have to put it behind you and move on. Like everyone has said the chances there is anything wrong are miniscule and I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about. You have to ring to find out as all this stress is no good for you or the baby. Good luck xxxxx

Original poster
waitinggame · 07/01/2005 15:25

I'm a stupid stupid idiot who got drunk and had unprotected sex with a complete stranger - and he obviously wasn't an angel!!!!!!

My results are due fairly soon and I had the test over 5 weeks ago now so I'm sure they would have had them a good couple of weeks.

I've been trying to rationalize in my head that surly with something this serious they would have contacted me asap if something was wrong but there is still a huge element of fear involved.

I guess it's just what I deserve!!!!

OP posts:
Twiglett · 07/01/2005 15:26

Everybody everybody worries about that test .. whether they have reason to or not .. so I want you to know that that's normal

.. please try to relax and just ask your midwife at next visit in a kind of BTW way

they would have phoned you if there was a problem .. immediately

I was very worried with DS (I had a had a good time in my 20's both in UK and abroad) ... but everything was clear .. then weirdly I was just as worried with DD .. and the only partner I'd had had been my DH for a long long time (and I'm certain that he's faithful)

HTH .. its an irrational fear .. relax

tiredemma · 07/01/2005 15:26

really- stop panicking- you would of been contacted by now.

MrsBigD · 07/01/2005 15:28

wg - nobody 'deserves' a thing like that even if they have strayed

aloha · 07/01/2005 15:28

WG, the fact that you think you deserve punishment is probably one of the reasons you are finding this so hard. But please believe me and Twiglett - it's absolutely normal to feel terrified, and it will all have been for nothing. If you were HIV you would have been contacted so that treatment could be started ASAP. Try to forgive yourself.

Original poster
waitinggame · 07/01/2005 15:28

bonnie - your right about the guilt.

I feel like this is a big cloud hanging over me. I'd have forgotten all about that stupid bloody night if it wasn't for this test.

I just wish I could forget it and move on - but I can't until I have the result.

OP posts:
aloha · 07/01/2005 15:30

When is your next antenatal appt? If it's not for a while, perhaps you could call up and say you've been fretting over your blood tests and want the results. When you get them you will be so happy.

Original poster
waitinggame · 07/01/2005 15:32

I'm sitting at my computer crying because of all you lovely ladies - bloody pregnancy hormones!!!

I'm sure you're all right. Things have just become too much today - I have been thinking of this over and over for weeks with no one to talk to about it.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 07/01/2005 15:34

agree with aloha .. in fact phone now

maomao · 07/01/2005 15:36

Yes, phone straight away, to put your mind at ease. You don't need all this stress!

Original poster
waitinggame · 07/01/2005 15:38

I can't phone - what would I say!!!

I'm not in the sort of environment where I can make a phone call saying "I'm phoning for the results of my HIV test please"

My appointment is a few days away - I'll wait it out.

OP posts:
Dior · 07/01/2005 20:11

Message withdrawn

Tinker · 07/01/2005 20:24

You would definitely know by now. Believe me, I had exactly this same angst, and on the same day that they were announcing that HIV levels were higher that they thought previously. And I've taken lots of stupid risks. I asked if I would be told earlier and was told yes. I've actually never had my results but it's 6 weeks ago now so am starting to forget about it. Please relax

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