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I'm so fed up feeling below par all the time - what could it be?

18 replies

WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople · 01/09/2024 10:02

I've not been feeling great for the last 5 years and it's just getting worse. I'll have the odd few days of feeling ok(ish) but the majority of my days I am suffering from a myriad of symptoms, sometimes all together and sometimes different symptoms on different days. I'm so anxious and depressed as it is preventing me from living a normal and contented life.

I am 51 and will start by saying that I've suffered anxiety for most of my life but it was always just part of me not something which was all consuming as it is now.

I have also suffered from IBS for half if my life and again I had bad days and then lots of manageable days but not now. Most days I have a whole host of upper and lower gut issues that I have to deal with including awful gnawing nausea, burping, acid indigestion, very gurgly guts, gas, bloating, some days diarrhoea and others times it's constipation. I can need the loo at all times during the day and can never trust my guts anymore.
Over the 5 years I've had 2 colonscopies, a pill camera endoscopy, a gastroscope, a bile acid malabsorption scan and several us scans, thankfully all ok but now I'm just left to it by the NHS as my gastro says there is nothing more she can offer despite knowing I still have daily issues.
I have tried all kinds of meds and nothing really helps. I only drink water and watch what I eat. I follow a special diet and track my symptoms and have gut directed hypnotherapy yet can't see why I get such bad days and whilst others are a bit better.
It struck me last night, I was awake from midnight till 3am with the most awful nausea, acid and gas, no idea why this happens.

I also have gynae issues which have dragged on for years and I only discovered (via MRI) December last year that I have deep endometriosis and adenomyosis (apparently not showing on the bowel though). I only discovered this as I asked for the MRI as I have a failed uterine ablation from 2022 which has left me in pain. I have been given conflicting opinions if this has any connection to my gut issues with my regular gynae telling me there is most definitely a connection, to my new endo gynae not even wanting to discuss it because according to him there is no connection and my gastroenterologist saying maybe there is?
I've now been left on a year long wait for a laparoscopy with no follow ups during this wait (good old NHS hey?) and my gastroenterologist has put me on a once a year phone consultation.

Alongside the above I have such tiredness that I could sleep all day (even though in general I sleep most days between 11pm-7am), I do dream heavily though so not sure if the sleep is restful or not?

Every day I have a tight jaw all the time, clench and grind my teeth at night (actually broken down a couple of teeth this way), tight neck and shoulder muscles. I ache a lot and in general I feel emotionally and physically knackered. Recently I have had lots of muscle twitching which is really stressing me out.

I won't lie, I know I'm stressed. My parents live just around the corner from me. They are early 80's and although dad is in good health my mum isn't. She has Alzheimer's and recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She also has heart issues and has a pace maker as well as being bent over with osteoporosis. Although they hav a daily carer, I see them around 4/5 times a week and tbh, seeing them struggle is really stressing me out, it's so upsetting a depressing.

I do worry about everyone. I worry about my ds (soon to be 19). He has been hard work most of his life & suffered with school anxiety/refusal from 2016-2021. That was a very stressful period and I was the only one dealing with it all as dh was always at work. Thankfully ds is content and happy now he's working and has a girlfriend but he has put on a lot of weight, I can't stop stressing that he is damaging his health. I know he's an adult now but it doesn't stop me stressing about him.

I also worry about my dd16, she hasn't performed too well with her GCSE's and I very much worry about her future.

You can see that I worry about my family a lot!

I am fed up feeling so crappy. I never feel that great these days and can not get a break from it all. It's easy to say it's all stress and/or peri related but I can't help but concern myself every day that it's something else. I have recently had a full panel of blood work and everything has come back as normal and within range and they were a really all better than my results from a year ago. I have had endless CBT, counselling and some other therapies but none have helped. I worry it's all due to something physical but I'm getting nowhere with my doctor's. I've tried antidepressants but they made the gut issues worse. My gynae says hrt could make my endo worse!

I'm so tired of it all.

What can I do to feel better? I am slim, eat well, don't drink, try to get good sleep, walk everywhere but feel like my life is now consumed with feeling shit every day.

Any advice? I'm getting desperate.

OP posts:
imverynosey · 01/09/2024 12:52

Have you looked into following a low FODMAP diet for your IBS? Also cutting back on sugar? I'd definitely recommend giving those things a go if haven't already x

imverynosey · 01/09/2024 12:52

Also gut health and mental health all strongly linked

NavyDeer · 01/09/2024 12:55

Get a referral from doctor or dentist to a maxillo facial unit for the clenching/grinding.

imverynosey · 01/09/2024 12:56

NavyDeer · 01/09/2024 12:55

Get a referral from doctor or dentist to a maxillo facial unit for the clenching/grinding.

Yes and you can also get Botox in the jaw area I think which people swear by for this

WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople · 01/09/2024 13:03

imverynosey · 01/09/2024 12:52

Have you looked into following a low FODMAP diet for your IBS? Also cutting back on sugar? I'd definitely recommend giving those things a go if haven't already x

Thank you
I do follow the low fodmap diet and have tweaked it by avoiding my known triggers like eggs, dairy and wheat etc. I have kept a food diary for years but can't see a real connection to the foods that I eat now, it's quite random tbh. I barely eat anything sugary but do notice I feel worse if I do so keep it to an absolute minimum.

OP posts:
WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople · 01/09/2024 13:04

NavyDeer · 01/09/2024 12:55

Get a referral from doctor or dentist to a maxillo facial unit for the clenching/grinding.

I saw a maxillo facial specialist a few years back. He told me that I must stop clenching my jaws and his helpful advise to me was to 'just' relax.

I have had several night splints made up by the dentist but I end up destroying them by biting through them!

OP posts:
WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople · 01/09/2024 13:06

imverynosey · 01/09/2024 12:56

Yes and you can also get Botox in the jaw area I think which people swear by for this

My dentist has recommended this but I'd have to pay privately, sadly I just can't afford it as I have reduced my working hours because of my health issues. It's a bit of a vicious cycle atm.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 01/09/2024 13:09

Gastro issues are very very common in peri-menopause, op. Everything you're listing is. You really, really need to go to a private menopause clinic for some proper help. GP's are usually absolutely useless.

BibbityBobbityToo · 01/09/2024 13:10

Totally random but this crossed my mind. Do you have gas appliances or central heating? If you do, is you Carbon Monoxide detector/alarm still working?

NavyDeer · 01/09/2024 13:41

WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople · 01/09/2024 13:04

I saw a maxillo facial specialist a few years back. He told me that I must stop clenching my jaws and his helpful advise to me was to 'just' relax.

I have had several night splints made up by the dentist but I end up destroying them by biting through them!

Oh!! Not helpful! Mine gave me a mouth splint and a muscle relaxant.
I had botox too. It gave my credit card quite the battering.
It's very very tiring clenching all the time and could be part of the cause of some of the other stuff.

jimjamjames · 01/09/2024 13:43

Have you tried proper strength probiotics? Not taking etc

SwanSong1 · 01/09/2024 13:45

Mumsnet is not thee place for medical advice, please visit a Drs.

HazelLion · 01/09/2024 14:11

Could it be fibromyalgia?

I grind and clench my teeth terribly and use silicon mouth guards off Amazon that you dip in hot water and then bite down on to mould them to your teeth. They are cheap enough to replace if you bite through them.

WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople · 01/09/2024 15:28

Aquamarine1029 · 01/09/2024 13:09

Gastro issues are very very common in peri-menopause, op. Everything you're listing is. You really, really need to go to a private menopause clinic for some proper help. GP's are usually absolutely useless.

Sadly I don't have the money to see anyone privately. I have made a GP appointment later in the month with a new GP. The receptionist suggested I try her when I mentioned my peri issues, she said she was her GP at a different surgery and helped her during the menopause so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she may be able to help.

OP posts:
WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople · 01/09/2024 15:30

BibbityBobbityToo · 01/09/2024 13:10

Totally random but this crossed my mind. Do you have gas appliances or central heating? If you do, is you Carbon Monoxide detector/alarm still working?

We have a couple of detectors which we keep working. I live with my dh and dc. They all seem ok so hopefully it's not that.

OP posts:
WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople · 01/09/2024 15:31

NavyDeer · 01/09/2024 13:41

Oh!! Not helpful! Mine gave me a mouth splint and a muscle relaxant.
I had botox too. It gave my credit card quite the battering.
It's very very tiring clenching all the time and could be part of the cause of some of the other stuff.

The muscle relaxant sounds good, I could really do with something like that, I may need to ask my GP if she could prescribe something.

OP posts:
WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople · 01/09/2024 15:32

jimjamjames · 01/09/2024 13:43

Have you tried proper strength probiotics? Not taking etc

No, I really do need to try probiocs

OP posts:
WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople · 01/09/2024 15:33

HazelLion · 01/09/2024 14:11

Could it be fibromyalgia?

I grind and clench my teeth terribly and use silicon mouth guards off Amazon that you dip in hot water and then bite down on to mould them to your teeth. They are cheap enough to replace if you bite through them.

I will ask the GP about fibromyalgia when I see her in a few weeks.

I'll have a look on Amazon for a mouth guard, thank you.

OP posts:
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