4.5 month old breastfeeding aversion. Will only feed if asleep!

[sab97]

Hi all,

First post- not sure where to post!

Desperately looking for some advice or if anyone has been through anything similar. I’m not sure how much longer I can cope with this! My EBF baby is 5 months next week. For two months now we have been having the same issue, she will not breastfeed if she is awake.

Prior to this aversion, she would feed brilliantly in the cradle hold without any issues. I have queried silent reflux with the GP but they did not want to give any treatment as she seemed to be managing okay with this.

My daughter had Covid in June, which is when these issues started. Ever since then, if I try and put her in cradle hold she arches her back and refuses it even if she’s hungry. The only way I can get her to feed is lying down in a dark room with her when she’s sleepy/ asleep. I have tried multiple different breastfeeding positions, she will latch in koala for maybe 30 seconds then pull off.

She will not take a bottle or a cup, we have tried multiple times. I have tried everything to get her to take a bottle, leaving the house to let my husband do it, bottle wrapped in a top that smells like me, different bottles/teats. Waiting until she’s hungry etc and none of it works.

I can now not leave the house for longer than 2 hours as I know she will be due a feed and I will have to feed her lying down in bed.

We are meant to be going on holiday next month and I am riddled with anxiety as I do not know how I will feed her in the airport or on the plane.

Has anyone else’s baby refused to feed awake/in usual hold or have to feed lying down in bed? How long did it last for??

I feel like such a failure, and I would have probably given up on breastfeeding by now if she would take a bottle but I feel stuck and restricted to the house :(

Sorry for long post- one desperate mama!

Can you express milk and then try again with a bottle? It may be that due to her age your milk is not coming out quickly enough.

Have you changed your diet or even your soap/ shower gel as either of these could change your milk/ smell to your baby.

Personally, and from experience, I think if she is not taking milk when she is awake she could be ready for solids. The refusal to take milk might be due to needing more calories than milk can provide and just being ready for more solid food. An arched back can be an indication of wind but also her way of saying she doesn't want milk. If she's not having milk during the day much but is awake and active then starting introducing food might be what she needs.

My daughter would never take a bottle and I breastfed her until she was 18 months but she would feed when awake. Is your daughter losing weight? Have you tried her with solids?

So this was me. Ds was a blooming nightmare and around the same age he stopped wanting to breastfeed but would not take a bottle. I was absolutely devastated and so worried. He would feed when just awake so I remember getting him to sleep a lot and then there was a very specific position he would feed, eventually I totally gave up because it was unsustainable. Following health visitors advice I started to wean early and lots of things that were made up of formula/ breast milk. I think it was porridge/ baby rice (which I know people hate but honestly if he ate it it was better than not having anything) lots of puree fruit and veg. He could sit unsupported and his thrust tongue reflex had gone so I felt ok about it.
I did keep offering a bottle (tried all sorts of tests/ bottles) but I tried very hard to be calm about it. We had got into such a negative cycle thinking about food, I was stressed and anxious, he was picking up on that. I found that easier with a bottle than breastfeeding. He never really took to bottles but he would have small amounts alongside food. He never seemed to drop weight which we monitored. I started with expressed breast milk and then mixed with formula and eventually just formula. I went back to work at 8 months and even from childminder he didn’t ever drink much milk. He’s now 10 and fine and I had dd 2 years after him and she breastfed for over a year!!

what would I do in your situation regarding holiday coming up. I’d try lots of bottles, I’d express. I’d do what I could when travelling but try not to stress if he didn’t feed during that part of the day. I used to wear ds in a sling / carrier a lot and I would use that to help him sleep and then have a bottle ready to offer when just rousing so he would have a little bit before he even really knew what was happening. Good luck and I hope you feel a little bit less alone

Ours did exactly the same, peaking at the same age. It was reflux (mostly silent with some small spit ups) and was so bad that she ended up needing the highest dose she could have by weight rather than the standard dose. Once on omeprazole she was like a completely different baby. We managed to gradually reduce her dose from 10 months old and she was fully off by a year old.

Ah thank you! I’ve thought she’s had silent reflux since a baby but they didn’t want to put her on medication. I’ve made another doctors appointment for today and I’m going to ask again as I’m at a loss what to try and I’m going to push for them to listen to me.

Thank you so much for your reply. It’s nice to know I’m not alone and others understand how difficult and mentally draining it is!

I’m definitely going to speak to the GP about early weaning, as I’m so worried about her. She’s not losing any weight thankfully so her sleepy feeds seem to be doing the trick it’s just not sustainable as I we are housebound and it’s horrible!

I’m glad to hear you went on to breastfeed your daughter, because I worry this has made me not want to breastfeed in the future. It’s such a shame as I loved breastfeeding previously, but now I just get an anxious pit in my stomach when I know she’s due a feed and I need to try feed her.