I’m not sure why I’m posting this I just need some advice or someone to just say something that makes sense I don’t know…. 5 years ago I developed interstitial cystitis basically my bladder is ALWAYS burning like hell. I’ve been on various medications for it but I’m at a point now where the bigger issue is the effect those medications are having on the rest of me and my marriage.
Physically I’m a mess - I’m overweight, utterly exhausted all the time, I have no drive to do anything, no sex drive, any dreams I used to have have gone now.
Ive got two gorgeous girls 8 and 10 who are everything to me. Im 41. This wknd my husband and I were supposed to be going to a friends 40th which would’ve been two very late nights of heavy drinking and a long drive, I just couldn’t face it so pulled out. I feel like I’ve really upset him and I’m just causing so much disappointment all the time.
Ive seen so many therapists and been on so many antidepressants, pain killers etc… a little while ago I tried a super healthy diet but after 2 weeks still felt exhausted so reverted back to my old ways.
I’m having 1-2 alcoholic drinks each night to try to make myself feel better but I know I need to do something more long term I just feel so so tired and like I’ve tried everything but I get angry with myself I have absolutely no drive and no interest in anything or keeping anything up.
I’m home alone now until Sunday night first time I’ve been totally alone since I can remember and I just want to scream at myself to do something. I just need to talk to someone or for someone to flick a switch. I know it’s impossible…
please be kind xx