What made you realise you were ND?

[hiddeneverythin]

I've had two things happen this year that have pretty much spelled it out to me. What made you realise and what were your next steps for diagnosis/management?

First port of call is to contact your GP and they'll probably get you to fill in some questionnaires and forms to determine which assessment/s you need referrals for.
It is not a quick or straightforward process, so prepare yourself for the long haul.

I got sacked from 2 jobs in a row for basically not focussing, chatting, productivity type things. I realised as much as I really wanted to do the right thing I just couldn’t my GP suggested an ADHD assessment and we went from there.

To add, I believe the best advice for approaching the GP is not only to be armed with your list of symptoms but to also have evidence of how this impacts your day to day life. You will also need statements from family/school reports or something similar to evidence that you displayed these behaviours as a child also

@FunkyDonkey my school reports were pretty standard but I have just never ever felt normal or as if I belonged anywhere. I had a very strict upbringing so would never have said this was how I was feeling

I was completing assessment forms for my teen ND child and realised that a lot of the answers also applied to me (and to my own father, which was more of a shocking revelation). My dad has been dead for more than 30yrs.

However, I don’t intend to get a formal diagnosis as I’m ok with my life as it is. Plus I don’t want to waste money unnecessarily.

I know I said must, that was probably a bit strong. Maybe just some accounts from memory of things you did as a child or ways you felt as a child. For me it was being very talkative and often getting told off for interrupting people (basically not really grasping that conversations go two ways), being a bit ‘away with the fairies’ daydream/seeming like I’m not listening and being very messy and forgetful. All of these things paint a good picture of a young girl with ADHD. For adult women it can be very similar to this. Could I ask what things have happened that have lead you to believe your ND? Think about whether things similar to this have happened previously maybe with less consequence or lower stakes 😊

i always felt like i was living life on ‘hard mode’ because nothing seemed to work for me like it did others. the way i thought or reacted. the way i learned and the way i had conversations.

unfortunately it took me almost 30 years to be diagnosed - before that i just thought i was unlucky and just wrong.

next steps would be to contact your GP. depending on where you live depends on how you can be diagnosed - some areas have right to choose and others NHS only.

@FunkyDonkey loads of things from childhood (never really had any friends) then at university one of my friends pointing out that I never asked anything about them and just talked about myself. It had never occurred to me to ask before. (I still hate asking but always remember to do it now). Also same friend and a number of other unrelated friends pointing out I didn't give eye contact. Again, I didn't realise I was doing this and didn't realise that giving eye contact was meant to be a thing)

@FunkyDonkey one was a trip with friends when I felt totally relaxed and thought I had gone with the flow and turns out they all thought I was being bossy. This has totally rocked me as I really thought/think others took the lead. More recently applied for something at work that everyone was certain I'd get. I put my heart and soul into it and thought I'd pulled an amazing application out but it totally failed and I still can't see how even though I've had it explained to me.

@Alwaystired94 yes this is absolutely me

I had no idea at all. I had to be told I wasn’t “normal”

I went to a psychologist for what I thought was depression but was diagnosed with ADHD & burnout. This has since been confirmed by a psychiatrist managing my medication.

I went with my DD to her autism assessment as her relative and the psychologist when giving the results said my DD was very much autistic and then said “and mum is too” - real jaw dropper. It explained why it took ages for me to listen to the school and get around to my DD being assessed as I thought she was normal because she is a lot like I was at her age.

I’m sorry to hear about those experiences, it’s really hard when people’s perception of a situation is vastly different to yours and I can absolutely relate to the work one where you are sure you are the best fit for something and can’t understand the feedback. It definitely sounds like you should take a visit to your GP, as a pp mentioned please do research right to choose in your area before you go, it’s something I wish I knew about when I was going through NHS diagnosis. Please keep us updated😊

Maladaptive daydreaming. I've always done it. I first remember doing it when I was about 6 at infant school. It can be overpowering and intrusive and make me disconnect from real life.

However, I don’t intend to get a formal diagnosis as I’m ok with my life as it is. Plus I don’t want to waste money unnecessarily.

Same here. What good would a label / diagnosis at this stage of life do?

After my children were dx at ages 2.5 (eldest) and 3 (youngest) and their home visiting early years teacher suggested I look into assessment.
Then their specialist nursery.
Then their paediatrician.
Then the sssen visiting specialist.

Basically every specialist involved with them eventually raised it with me and in the end I went to my GP who was also amazingly unsurprised :D

So I got a referral.

@Polarnight I feel a diagnosis will help me understand myself (and others understand me) better

@FunkyDonkey Thanks so much. It's a terrifying thought even phoning the GP about this as I don't want to be seen as "jumping on the bandwagon" but with so much information around just now it's hard to ignore

When I wrote a paper on it being missed in 'other' female patients for my post graduate research. Then I had to fill out paperwork for my daughter and realised...oh... I literally wept with relief the first time I tried medication in my 30s.

@brainexplorer thanks for this. What medication do you take and what difference does it make (if you don't mind me asking)?