Healthy anxiety

[tonnygal]

I'm having an intense health anxiety flare. I've suffered on and off for years and have had CBT.

I've relapsed into intense googling, constant symptom checking etc.

The 'diagnosis' has changed 3 times in 2 days (all deadly of course 😂)

I wish I could turn this part of my brain off, it's so all consuming and unhelpful.

😮‍💨

I don't want reassurance on the health issue (well, I do, but know that it won't actually help!) just wondered if any HA sufferers can remind me that I can get out of this rut and back to normality again! Or a hand hold. Thanks

I don’t suffer myself but I have two members of my close family that suffer and others that while not as bad, still struggle. All females

You're right not to be looking for people to ask about the health issue…because that feeds the beast. The ‘have you thought about this?’ Etc.

So 1/ you’ve recognised you’re spiralling
2/ You understand it’s important for others not to feed into it

So I think you are doing all the right things OP

Unfortunately my two family members feed off each other and it’s hard. When they discuss issues with me I don’t engage in the health chat. One because it makes it worse and two, because it turns out there was never anything wrong. I’m talking about serious health issues and investigations that they involve is in and it never comes to anything. Its exhausting.

You probably know that this intensity will pass and not much you can do until it passes. Just try and get a good sleep routine, eating regularly etc

I wish ppl truly understood how horrible health anxiety actually is. For me, I can manifest the symptoms of things - shittest superpower in the world!! I don't read side effects of meds any more cos I'll get them. What's worse is that you know it's in your head but it's like a whole other person is in there that just will not listen.

My friend & I both suffer with it, I've told her some of the stupid shit I do (looking at my own poo by torchlight?!) & we laugh about it. Currently she's terrified of ovarian cancer & has just had a ca125 come back positive so her being able to laugh about it has gone. She's terrified, and then it's impossible to laugh about. That's what I wish ppl got, it's crippling fear. A deep, cold terror in your chest.

We've talked through all the things it could be before it's cancer. Her GP told her she doesn't think it's cancer. It's not helped her.

So I totally feel you & yes, of course you'll come out of this low! We always do :)

A tip - I'm on low dose sertraline (50mg) & it's really helped me have more control over it. I mean, it's still there & I'm in a deep low atm, but it definitely helps. Friend did CBT which helped her understand it but didn't do much for the anxiety & fear itself.

So yeah! It's a shitty, shitty thing that people think is just whining but most of the time we're too scared to even say what we think is wrong with us lol. I can't even tell DH!

'guess what I did today? I pooped in some tupperware cos I thought I saw blood. And I took it in the conservatory to look at it in the natural light - shaking like a leaf!! And I tried to ring the Dr's and then I remembered the Innocent smoothie I'd been drinking for two days was purple. Cos it has beetroot in it 🤦🏼‍♀️'

Absolutely ridiculous disorder lol, but the fear is very very real.

Thank you both 🙏

@Caerulea that made me giggle. I look back and laugh at the month (November 22) when I had 3, 2 week wait cancer referrals, to different specialities. 😂😂 Spoiler alert- wasn't cancer!

This worry isn't actually cancer, which is different for me. At least I'm keeping it fresh!

Taking Clomipramine for health anxiety has changed my life.

I know you're struggling but on the other hand it's great that you have such a good understanding of yourself and you haven't allowed yourself to come on here seeking reassurance.

That's what tells me you're going to come out the other side of this flare. You've got this.