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Worried my Mum has cancer

19 replies

mistymirror · 14/07/2024 10:32

I feel sick with anxiety that my Mum is about to be diagnosed with cancer and I don't know if I'm over reacting or if my instincts are screaming I'm right.
She started off with a sort throat in Jan, and coughing up blood and phlegm. She put it down to being a chest infection. Ever since Jan she says she has a feeling that something is stuck in her throat. She has now had two lumps appear on her neck. She's had blood tests which have come back clear, she's had a endoscopy and been told her throat is clear. However when she went to have an ultrasound on her lumps they said they wanted to do a biopsy so she is now waiting results for that.
My mum is 68 and lives alone, she plays things down a lot. Last night I was having tea with her and she started to choke, at first I put it down to food going down the wrong way but then she started vomiting loads of phlegm up and her throat was making this awful crackling sound for around half an hour afterwards, I've never heard anything like it before and it was so horrible to see. It turns out this has been happening a lot and she's not told me Sad
She is taking medicine for acid reflux but says that's not really making a difference although she had forgotten to take it before her tea yday and said that's the worse she has ever been so maybe it is working?
I'm just wondering if anyone has had similar symptoms? I've convinced myself that it's oesophagus cancer and I'm terrified for her.

OP posts:
mistymirror · 14/07/2024 16:37

Anyone? Sad

OP posts:
Pery · 14/07/2024 17:29

I'm so sorry to read this, of course no-one on here can promise you that it isn't cancer.
As a parent of adult children I would never want to worry them. So much so that when I had suspected breast cancer I went through all the tests but didn't tell them until I had a definite diagnosis. They were cross with me and asked me to confide in them in future but it's easier said than done as I don't want them to worry.
I imagine your mum is the same. Those symptoms do sound worrying but at least she is undergoing tests. Perhaps you could try and go with her to future appointments, especially if it's a consultant. If it's bad news it's better to have someone else there to ask questions.

Tcateh · 14/07/2024 17:35

I just wanted to say I understand how you're feeling.
I'm thinking of you

Xxxx

mistymirror · 14/07/2024 21:45

Thank you both for your comments. I guess all we can do now is wait for the biopsy results - it just feels like torture having to wait Sad
My Mum is still so young and fit and healthy, it just doesn't seem real.

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Shiveringinthecountry · 14/07/2024 22:14

I'm very sorry you and your mum are going through this. My mum died of oesophageal cancer.

I hope the results of the biopsies are good ❤️ If they don't explain anything then it might be worth asking your mum's GP to consider oesophageal motility disorders (look up achalasia). They cause regurgitation of food/liquid and it often comes in lots of foamy phlegm. This is a rare condition and often overlooked/mistaken for acid reflux.

I'll be thinking of you and your mum x

mistymirror · 15/07/2024 07:18

Shiveringinthecountry · 14/07/2024 22:14

I'm very sorry you and your mum are going through this. My mum died of oesophageal cancer.

I hope the results of the biopsies are good ❤️ If they don't explain anything then it might be worth asking your mum's GP to consider oesophageal motility disorders (look up achalasia). They cause regurgitation of food/liquid and it often comes in lots of foamy phlegm. This is a rare condition and often overlooked/mistaken for acid reflux.

I'll be thinking of you and your mum x

Thank you so much for this advice. I will look into it. I'm so sorry about your Mum.
What were her symptoms if you don't mind me asking?

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Shiveringinthecountry · 15/07/2024 09:06

Hi @mistymirror, and no problem at all.

This is going to sound crazy but all I really know is that my mum was having difficulty eating. It was back in 2008. She had various tests (for instance chest x-ray) but they kept coming back negative, until she had an endoscopy and that is how she was diagnosed. Unfortunately at that point it was very far advanced.

My mum tended to keep things to herself, but when I look back I remember her cooking Sunday lunch for everybody (or sometimes I would cook it) and she wasn't really eating very much at all. Looking back, it may be that she was eating when we were not around to watch (as I noticed she'd started buying a lot of ice cream and crisps, which wasn't like her). At that point she hadn't told us there was anything wrong, but sometimes it's easier to see things with the benefit of hindsight etc. She was pretty skinny, but she'd been very slim for a long time naturally, I think, so that didn't seem odd.

As for the motility disorder, and how that might present, I've just been diagnosed with one myself (duh...). I can tell you that I've had regurgitation of food (rushing back up into my mouth and needing to be spat out, in what feels like gallons of saliva/mucous) into the toilet. Ugh. That progressed to some episodes of explosive vomiting and has now progressed to agonising pain on eating, a few weeks ago, so that I'm currently on a soft-food diet and having some tests (starting today, as it happens). When I read what you wrote about your mum bringing stuff up when eating it rang a bit of a bell, and so I've mentioned this as just a possibility as I now know it's very rare and so often missed. Although it can be an annoying condition it would be a better outcome for your mum than the cancer you're worrying about, so again - if the biopsies don't answer the questions do look into it, just in case.

I'm thinking of you. If you have any other questions then please don't hesitate to just ask me ❤️

mistymirror · 26/07/2024 21:22

@Shiveringinthecountry thank you so much for your message. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply, my head has been all over the place in the past couple of weeks.
Sadly today we found out that my Mum does have cancer. I can't believe I'm even writing that Sad we don't know yet what stage or even what type of cancer she has. She has been called to have an MRI and CT scan. I just feel so numb.

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Shiveringinthecountry · 26/07/2024 21:33

mistymirror · 26/07/2024 21:22

@Shiveringinthecountry thank you so much for your message. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply, my head has been all over the place in the past couple of weeks.
Sadly today we found out that my Mum does have cancer. I can't believe I'm even writing that Sad we don't know yet what stage or even what type of cancer she has. She has been called to have an MRI and CT scan. I just feel so numb.

I can’t tell you how very sorry I am to hear that 😢 I know it will be a terrible shock for you, your mum and the rest of your family.

Try to take things a day at a time, and make sure to make time for yourself. I hope you have other family who will be able to help. Please do let us know how you and your mum get on. If for any reason you’d like to drop me a line to ask how it went for my mum then please don’t hesitate.

I’ll light a candle for your and your mum now 🕯️❤️

CoodleMoodle · 26/07/2024 21:39

mistymirror · 26/07/2024 21:22

@Shiveringinthecountry thank you so much for your message. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply, my head has been all over the place in the past couple of weeks.
Sadly today we found out that my Mum does have cancer. I can't believe I'm even writing that Sad we don't know yet what stage or even what type of cancer she has. She has been called to have an MRI and CT scan. I just feel so numb.

I am so sorry to read this. My DM is 69 and has just been diagnosed with a inoperable brain tumour, and it's so hard. Some days are easier than others but overall it's really, really tough.

I'm wishing you, your Mum and your family all the best 💐

Sprig1 · 26/07/2024 21:56

Sorry to hear about your Mum. I hope you find out more soon and she can start on treatment.

mistymirror · 26/07/2024 22:19

@Shiveringinthecountry thank you for being so kind to me ❤️ I will definitely keep you posted when we find out more. I just feel very numb now which is weird because I've been crying for the last 2 weeks about it and now I feel like someone has come along and taken all the air out of me and I'm just an inflated balloon with nothing left to give if that makes sense? It must just be the brains way of dealing with such shocking news but also news I had a gut feeling was the case.
I hope you are doing ok on your new diet and things are getting better for you.

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mistymirror · 26/07/2024 22:21

@CoodleMoodle I'm so sorry to hear that about your Mum. I can't imagine how hard that must be to come to terms with. Have you been given a time scale?
I just don't know what I will do if my mums cancer is incurable Sad I'm so terrified of her having an awful, painful and drawn out death.

OP posts:
mistymirror · 26/07/2024 22:21

Sprig1 · 26/07/2024 21:56

Sorry to hear about your Mum. I hope you find out more soon and she can start on treatment.

Thank you ❤️

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Shiveringinthecountry · 26/07/2024 22:25

@mistymirror No problem at all! That candle is burning here for you and your mum as I write.

I think you’re probably feeling the way you feel this evening because despite all the worry you were still hoping that it might not be cancer, and now that hope has sadly been taken away 😢

You will be able to cope with whatever comes, and when your mum has had those further tests it may well be that she can be offered some treatment. I’m not much of a praying person, but I’ll say a prayer that the next round of news will be better xx

CoodleMoodle · 26/07/2024 22:34

mistymirror · 26/07/2024 22:21

@CoodleMoodle I'm so sorry to hear that about your Mum. I can't imagine how hard that must be to come to terms with. Have you been given a time scale?
I just don't know what I will do if my mums cancer is incurable Sad I'm so terrified of her having an awful, painful and drawn out death.

Thank you ❤️ You never think it'll happen to someone you love, and it's been incredibly difficult. She's resigned to the fact but obviously so scared. I'm just numb.

We've been given 8-10 weeks but it could be less than that. It's all been so sudden, she only started experiencing any symptoms at all in early May, then we were given the final prognosis this week.

I hope they're able to help your Mum, and make her comfortable. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts Flowers

Unknownsecret · 26/07/2024 22:41

Oh I’m so sorry to hear that OP, sending you big hugs x

catherinewales · 26/07/2024 23:08

I am so sorry your going through this. My DM was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2017 and she's still here doing amazing. My husband unfortunately was diagnosed with stomach cancer in February. His out come isn't so good. He's 45 and we've been told he has up to a year live. Possibly 18 months.
There is are so many treatments out there and science moves every day. I pray for good news for your mum and you. It's hard but both times I found the hardest times was waiting for treatment to start. I think it's easier mentally when they are going through treatment. I don't know if it's because you're so busy with appointments, looking after them, etc that you don't really have the time to think about the actual illness. Sending you both huge hugs xxxx

Pery · 27/07/2024 09:19

Sorry to hear your update. It's a shock for you but even more for her.
Do you live nearby?
Once the scans are done they have a meeting to decide on the plan for treatment. If the prognosis is not good there will still be treatment to keep her as well as possible for as long as possible.
Does your mum have other family or friends to support her and be around?

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