The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

That's interesting @topofthecliff I remember you telling us about your daughter's research - am I misremembering or had there been evidence or a suggestion previously that it didn't make much difference to outcomes?

It's doubly difficult the number of snake oil merchants or perhaps vaguely plausible articles out there selling ideas of supplements and diets that could cure or prevent cancer. Mostly my bullshit detector is good but in darker moments it does make me question if I'm really doing 'everything I can'.

I'm struggling a bit to pace myself too @dotty2 - I went to speak to an estate agent yesterday about DM's house, and she said that the valuation was low, but the official surveyor's valuation was for the purposes of inheritance tax and it would be the market value, which isn't quite the same thing for some reason, that would be appropriate to calculate capital gains tax. We are also under inheritance tax limit. Anyway, she suggested probate would come through much quicker than we expected and we could actually get the house straight on the market. I don't feel quite ready to do this, but I do feel like I need to get some market valuations now in case capital gains tax becomes an issue further down the line. But what I was getting around to saying was, I do feel the pressure to just get it done and over with, it's quite hard to just recognise I'm exhausted and step back and not feel pressured by other people's timelines. I am better than I was at stopping and recognising I need to rest, throughout most of the rest of my life I've probably just carried on regardless to get the task done, possibly why I exhausted myself and ended up with cancer, who knows?

And the constant low level anxiety probably doesn't help in the energy stakes. I've had IBS symptoms for a while, probably since chemo. I've mentioned them to various medical medical professionals and no one seems particularly bothered and nothing's shown up on the scans, though like others my initial cancer didn't show up either. The symptoms don't seem very cancer-ish to me either really, and I did have the same thing a lot in my 20s, but I have made another appointment to speak to the GP in a couple of weeks. I just try and carry on as if everything is okay because there's not really anything much else I can do, but it is wearing.

Nice to see some sun, I'm off out with a friend today for a mooch around a neighbouring pretty town, with lots of coffee and maybe some shopping!

Sympathies to those who are struggling, it sounds like many of us are dealing with a lot of things in addition to recovery.

I've been on another two week pathway for a mole. The verdict was that it is probably okay but it would be a good idea to have it removed and biopsied in view of my "history". Realistically I think it's a low chance of being anything serious but I'm not really looking forward to more appointments, waiting for results etc. It also made me wonder if having cancer once makes you more likely to get another type of it.

I'm about to move onto annual screening and part of me wonders if it's enough given how rapidly the tumour was growing. I also had a patch of DCIS and only found out about that because of the lump. Anyway I can see more regular scanning would have risks and it is a balancing act, it just feels a bit unnerving I guess.

I hope everyone has some sunshine and has a good weekend.

@ClashCityRocker I think the prevailing view has been that if cancer recurs it will be resistant to the traditional treatments so detecting stage 4 spread early with scans condemned patients to long courses of palliative chemotherapy at a time when they had few symptoms and could be enjoying what life they had left instead of having gruelling treatment. Now there are treatments available that can potentially cure stage 4 cancer so the sooner they pick it up and start treatment the better. The new treatments have been a game changer. Let’s hope the hospitals can afford to provide more scans for follow up.

@SierraSapphire we are in a very similar position to you. DH is waiting for probate for his late DF to come through so we can sell his house. No IHT to pay but we still have to summon the energy to clear the house out. We didn’t get a professional valuation, just looked at what else was selling in the road and reduced it a bit as PILs house is very run down. It will make a great doer upper for somebody! I think DH and his DSis don’t feel ready yet to tackle the huge piles of clutter/ treasure left in the house.The only pressure really is that after a year they would have to pay council tax on the empty house.

@Meadowfinch there must be a lot of variation on the Moving Forward courses. The one I went on was all about feelings and fears and expectations. It was helpful for me if only because I recognised that I was much further down the path to acceptance than I had realised when listening to the other ladies there.
I too have gone alcohol free, exercise for at least ten hours a week and eat a 30 plant based diet. I’m just still a bit overweight. But I did all that after cancer no 1 and still got another one. I think it is worth it because I am very well and energetic and it suits me.

Today I went to a Macmillan coffee morning, ate a lot of cake and won four raffle prizes. It was fun!

Oh and @ClashCityRocker whoop whoop! A clear scan deserves a celebration

That's what my (new) consultant said @TopOfTheCliff that they are now monitoring and treating "women like me" earlier and more aggressively, so she gave me a CA125 test (two years after my hysterectomy) whereas the old consultant who basically didn't really seem to give a shit didn't test. I'm so happy I actually have a consultant who I trust and seems engaged and interested (and she has funky shoes!)

I sent off the probate form last night, but the link isn't working for my DB to approve it 🙄. In some ways we are in no hurry, although the money would be nice so I can do some work on my own house for next year, and also I would just like the closure really of having everything sorted, whilst the house is there, I'm going to have to pop over to it to make sure everything is okay periodically. Fortunately my mum was incredibly organised so getting everything sorted is going to be relatively straightforward, I can see though that I will end up bringing a load of things to my house and we'll have piles of stuff all over the place, with nowhere to put it. We don't have great storage here. Also it's a bit weird walking into her house frozen in time from the last time she left. I'm going to go over and pick up some stuff today. I need to get her wheelchair and mobility aids to donate to shopmobility as well.

I went for a swim and spa last night. It was kind of hard to make myself do it just because it's a bit of a drive, but I had a lovely outdoor swim in the dark, and it reminded me that even though it can be difficult to get going. I always feel great after I've been! It's tennis this morning!

Well done with the swim @SierraSapphire . I slightly envy those friends (and DH) who seem addicted to exercise. They pine to get out on the bike or run or whatever. I am a lazy arse like my DF and have to force myself out but then I enjoy it. My siblings and I saw DF eating himself into poor health and don’t want to follow.
Good luck with the tennis. The rain and wind arrive here at lunchtime so we are doing a shortened bike ride to get back before the storm.

That's interesting about the reasons for not traditionally carrying out further scans @TopOfTheCliff. I asked my team if there would be anything more and was told they would only scan if there were symptoms. I was a bit surprised at the time as I thought it would be better to know early.

I hope the bike ride went well.

At my last scan I was told it would be the final one. However I had a letter a couple of weeks ago for a scan appointment in October.

Hi , me again.
I'm now 3 weeks post radiotherapy treatment and I'm really struggling with daily life.
I seem to have lost all confidence and things which wouldn't normally phase me seem to become overwhelming.
For example I had a warning light on my car dash yesterday and spent most of last night worrying about it.
Spoke to my son today and it was a brakelight out simple fix at Halfords but I am exhausted from worrying about stuff like this and then feel stupid and stressed.
Washing machine has packed up and I can't sort it out this week as I am going to see my son in France and am travelling on the train from Yorkshire to Stansted.
I've done the journey before but I'm already panicking about missing train connections/flights etc.
I never used to be like this and outwardly I tell the family I'm OK and coping.
I live by myself and some family are only 1 hour away but they have their own lives to lead and I don't want to be constantly contacting them.
Is this panic feeling normal after treatment or am I just being a wuss?

Hello all. @SierraSapphire take the sadmin easy- so much change, give yourself time.
@Zoopet i completely get the lack of confidence- I wonder if it’s that our bodies have let us down so it’s hard to have faith in ourselves? Not stupid at all. And you are so newly out of treatment. My pt talked about people feeling discombobulated “ when the circus leaves town” and the intensive appointment regime end.
i don’t think I’ve fully got my confidence two years on.

@Zoopet be kind to yourself. I’ll try and find the quote about after the storm, but meanwhile here is the Macmillan page on life after treatment.
https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-blogs/b/community_news/posts/life-after-cancer-getting-the-all-clear-recurrence-anxiety-and-moving-on?&infinity=ict2~net~gaw~ar~679391152990~kw~~mt~~cmp~G_PS_COM_BND~ag~DSA+2023+COM&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADmBGBHJMRXG8MxMt6S2FS5patlFZ&gclid=CjwKCAjw9eO3BhBNEiwAoc0-jROk5HtvJNr8cPpJHaq_aGZF5ncixYPkz-ND3xhguu9qROkB8vflMRoC4zUQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

@Zoopet I had (still have) the same. I talked to my GP about it and he said its a common experience after major illness or surgery. I had some CBT which does help a lot although I still can get overwhelmed.

Just been for first post hospital check up at hospital and saw the cuts they made for first time and everything looks as good as it could for this stage, they took all the old bandages of, and gave me new lighter ones covering less which is good. Back next Tues. Normally Mondays but DD starts Oxford on Mon so they moved. The female surgeon said at the end of the operation I kept talking to her as if she was my cat and she said they had all found it very amusing. She seemed quite happy to be like a cat. I guess it's as Floof stands on his back paws about a metre tall and puts his big fluffy paw out to poke me and it must have felt similar. Scar was cancer free.

Thinking of those dealing with sadmin etc.

That's good news @Penguinsa! DD is currently working on an outpatients clinic that includes seeing women after breast reconstruction and she says it's one of the nicest bits of her job (though she basically loves everything!) good luck to you all with your DD starting Oxford, exciting times and you must be incredibly proud of her!

@Zoopet it's not really very surprising when we are all feeling overwhelmed by everything. I actually feel a lot less anxious than I used to after having cancer, but I do often feel overwhelmed. I think these are typical menopause feelings though, but obviously the cancer on top can't help.

Anyone else feeling a bit triggered by the whole Louise Newsom Panorama thing, and lots of women rushing to defend her and claim it's a hatchet job? I've had to mute some Facebook groups. As someone damaged by the HRT bandwagon and over-enthusiastic private prescribing (not LN) I have a different view But there's no way I'm going to get into arguments with anybody. It does make me feel a bit alone.

Anyway, in more positive news a friend has just shared that there are cancer and yoga workshops near me, so I think I may go to one!

Great news @Penguinsa and how exciting for your dd.
yoga classes sound great @SierraSapphire

How is your back @isaxx ? Did you manage to enjoy your week away despite it?

I have been enjoying getting fitter again but am being lulled into thinking I can carry on as if I was still an energetic 50 something instead of an unfit 64 year old. I cycled on Sunday and Monday, then today went to help the guys at the sports club with a clear up. By lunchtime I was exhausted and have been lying around ever since. I was too tired for yoga which is pretty gentle! I’ve been obsessing over the side effects of anastrozole which is giving me hair thinning, dizziness, fatigue, aching joints, nausea and hot flushes. I have taken AIs for nearly four years now and have one more year to go but it’s hard to stay motivated! The only counter argument is that when I meet up with my girlfriends who aren’t on it they have most of the same issues 😂

@Penguinsa I am excited for your new job. When do you hope to travel there? Will DS and DH come with you initially or later? It is such an adventure!

@Zoopet Snap! I'm at about 3/4 weeks post radio too.

I have definitely been more panicky. (I was always a worrier), but every time I'm away from my kids ( when they're not at school) I'm worried something will happen to them. I know it's not rational, so I'm keeping it together and trying to act normal(!)

I started on tamoxifen when I started radio and am still early days into the chemical menopause from chemo so I'm not sure it it's just that. A few weeks ago I was crying at anything, but that has settled down, so fingers crossed.

Hello @TopOfTheCliff, can totally sympathise. I’m only 11 months on letrozole. Did very little yesterday. Today I woke up, had breakfast and have just fallen asleep on the sofa! When I get up I can hardly walk but that eases off quickly. You’ve done brilliantly getting to four years, I’m going to try to use you as inspiration to carry on, as everyone was very keen for me to take AIs. I’m 51 but feel 91 sometimes! Feeling a bit better after my morning nap though!

@Onelessboob I have gone from being the most stoic individual to someone who cries at adverts since starting endocrine therapy!

Me too! I keep looking at a Hilary Mantel at the library and thinking 'not yet, you're not ready!' 😂

@SierraSapphire (and everyone) did you know that you can access free yoga for cancer classes through Triyoga?

Yoga and Mat Pilates Class Schedules for triyoga London

If you're near one of their London centres you can go in person but online is good. I've been to a few and enjoyed them. It's nice to be a class with other people who "get" it. I was already registered with them from the old days but you don't have to do anything to prove your entitlement to be there, just sign up.

Hi folks, needing some advice. I've posted previously on the cancer support threads when first diagnosed and found it very helpful but as treatment progressed and I got more ill (chemo v hard) dropped off posting.

I got through it all and am now 1 year post treatment, had chemo, surgery (lumpectomy) then radiotherapy for stage 2 grade 3 her2 +, hormone+.

My issue now I'm back to full health is a pain in my armpit (where I had lymph node removed, all clear, no spread fortunately). I had breast pain (in affected one) which was niggling and physio has assured me its common especially after surgery and radiotherapy but this is a more intense pain. I'm wondering it its just due to being more active (physical work like gardening or walking a strong dog) and will ease off in time or if its something to worry about?

Anyone have similar experience? I've tried to advance search but not getting anything. Thanks and

Hi @Catswithhats and well done for getting through the marathon. You are welcome here.
I get a lot of pain from my armpits ( bilateral BC) both from the radiation damage and from the nerves that were damaged. I find yoga and heat both help, as do painkillers. If it is one area only it might be worth calling the Breast Care nurses and ask for a check to put your mind at rest. They can do an ultrasound to rule out nasties for you. I had a busy lymph node that they decided to biopsy but it was just doing the work of the 30 they removed! Almost certainly it’s nothing though.
Having an odd day today. So far I've blown up my hairdryer, been for a filling repair which fell out of my tooth again as I walked out of the dentist, and the garden chobbler machine has died. What will be next? I dread to think.

Thanks for reply @TopOfTheCliff have recently had a cold/sore throat viral thing so also wondering if its my nodes inflamed due to viral crap. Unfortunately my breast care nurses are never available, I had very good treatment throughout but that is the one thing I had issues with, they are probably stretched too thin. I will try and get seen if it persists, worrying about it is probably more damaging than whatever it is!

Perhaps the old adage of "bad things happen in threes" with your day today